Hi, I'm here and scared to death.

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tmmgeekette's picture
Joined: 05/27/05
Posts: 10
Hi, I'm here and scared to death.

Hi. I'm going thru a few things and I wish I wasn't. But finding out I'm pregnant is like some cosmic joke at this point. Let me explain...

My husband and I have been having serious marital issues and have been separated for 3 weeks. A week after he moved out, we ended up having sex and I think that's when it happened. I didn't know if we would stay together or get divorced. Then Thursday was a major turning point with the marriage counselor. Then Friday night I took a pg test to satisfy a nagging feeling. One of many "nagging feelings" over the years. I was beyond shocked to say the least when there was no line at first. Then I looked at it again right before I was gonna toss it, and I could see the line forming before my eyes. After a while, I ran out to a 24-hour pharmacy and bought a 3-pack. Took another right away. Positive. Took another the next morning. Huge positive. I have an IUD so I dunno that it would be viable anyway. But to add to the problem, I had been working out a lot the last 2 weeks trying to lose a few. I weigh about 210lbs. Too heavy, IMO, to be having babies. Then on top of that, I'm 42 years old. My daughters are 7 and 10. We were done having babies. Even tho I always did want #3, I thought it was too late. I told my husband yesterday morning and he took it surprisingly well. Hugged me and said we'd figure it out. But now the discussion of having an abortion is on the table. I don't think I could do it. Not if the baby was healthy anyway. I'm very pro choice. I don't believe in the whole "god's will" bull. But unless something was wrong with the baby or my life was at risk, I could never have an abortion.

-beyond freaked out.

Sarah-Jean's picture
Joined: 10/25/01
Posts: 1335

I'm so sorry for your situation. It must be really stressful to be going through all that at all, let alone when you're also pregnant and have children to consider.

Have you spoken to a Dr about the pregnancy with the IUD still in situ? That might be your first port of call.

What is the situation with your DH is you stay pregnant? Will you try and work it out, or will you still part ways?

Do you know how far along you might be? Was your IUD the mirena, or the copper coil?

(((((HUGS))))) I'm so sorry for all that you're going through. It's not an ideal situation and must be very stressful. I hope you can come to some conclusion on the way forward that will leave you with the best future and the least stress.

tmmgeekette's picture
Joined: 05/27/05
Posts: 10

Hi, thanks so much for your reply. I have told my sister and my parents too but they all have different points of view on the matter. They're all supportive, but they don't have to be the ones to carry this baby and then to raise it.

On the day prior to finding out I am pregnant, the turning point with the counselor was a good one. It looked like everything would be OK between us. Then, this happened. My husband said that if I wouldn't have an abortion, then that we would just have another baby. I said I didn't think I could have an abortion, and he said he didn't think he could either. When he was 17, he got a girl pregnant and his dad paid for the abortion. He says his life would be different (for the worse) if that baby had been born, but it still eats at him from time to time. That baby would have been 18 and graduating high school by now. So he doesn't think he could do it either, but our current situation is just made more difficult now. I think it's taking focus away from solving our original problems.

To answer your question, it was a Mirena IUD. And it was 2 years expired. Pretty dumb to let that go so long. But I can't feel the string anymore. When I could, it was long strings. So maybe it came out, I dunno. I was expecting my period yesterday. So just 1 month. But like I said to my husband, that blue line in the pg test was quadruplet-dark!

RonanTheBarbarian's picture
Joined: 05/10/10
Posts: 1084

I hope the iud causes no issues! Will you try to get in with your ob early because of it? Congratulations on the pregnancy and I'm so glad your Dh is supportive and you feel more secure in your relationship than you had!

tmmgeekette's picture
Joined: 05/27/05
Posts: 10

Thank you for your support. I went to see my Obgyn today. They squeezed me in. The oncall doctor saw me, not my usual doctor (who I adore). During the ultrasound, she found an abnormality and called in my usual doctor. So they both took a long hard look at my innards.

To make a long story short, they couldn't find my IUD. But they found two blobs that could pass for gestational sacs. One inside my uterus, and the other outside my uterus. The one inside is consistent with a 3 week pregnancy. The one outside is bigger, but they don't know if it is the IUD, a gestational sac, or a very large cyst. The Oncall doctor was freaking me out with talk of surgery and removing my Fallopian tube. But my own doctor, after he came in, decided to take a less invasive approach.

They drew blood today, and will again on Wednesday. He says the numbers will give them a clue if the pregnancy is normal or not. He said an ectopic pregnancy will have abnormal numbers. If it's ectopic and the tube bursts, he said that I will know from the pain. So that's where I'm at. Playing the waiting game.

Joined: 11/16/11
Posts: 265

I'm a strong believer that everything happens for a reason - and that things find a way of working themselves out. I'm glad to hear that things seemed to be getting better between your DH and you - and perhaps this baby is just a blessing in disguise. Smile

I pray your find peace in whatever decision you make.

tmmgeekette's picture
Joined: 05/27/05
Posts: 10

Thank you. It bothers me to so.e extent that talk of abortion even took place. But I think it was necessary to think of all the options. Personally I know I could never do it. But out of respect to my husband, I didn't want him to think I would force a baby on him.

In the end, if this baby was meant to be, then he (or she) will be. I could never live with myself otherwise.

I worked out tonight my Dr said there was no reason I shouldn't. So I'm tired, and I'm happy I can still do something to maintain my weight as out of control as it has become over the last 2 years.

I can't help wondering if this might be the boy I've always dreamed of having. If it isn't, then I will still love her, but if it's a boy, it would make this extra special turn of events.

hopin2bpreggermeggers's picture
Joined: 02/22/10
Posts: 567

Hey, Tania! I feel like this is deja vous! I'm so glad everything went well!

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