dreams/nightmares about breastfeeding

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Kate83's picture
Joined: 01/04/11
Posts: 587
dreams/nightmares about breastfeeding

I dont really have any worries or concerns about having the baby, the labor, delivery, any of that....

But the one thing that seems to come up is my inability to breastfeed. I have had bad dream after bad dream that I was either not feeding my baby, or unable to. and it makes me sad.

I gave up by day 4 with my boys, pumped for 6 weeks with number 2, but never actually breastfed, but I also didnt really try.

I am soooo determined this time to exclusively breastfeed, it means a lot to me. i know this our last baby and its the one thing I always regreted not doing, even though I was more then happy to use formula, and my boys are perfect, I just want to experience that bonding you hear so much about.

I have expressed my feelings to dh, who is totally on board, but doesnt think I need to put so much preasure on myself, my mom is 100% behind me and wished I had tried alot harder with my boys, and my inlaws just dont see why i would even bother (probably to be selfish since it means I wont be leaving out newborn alone with them)

I just had to get that off my chest today, my dream last night really had me bothered.

Thanks for listening.;)

jac81's picture
Joined: 11/22/10
Posts: 1131

I'm feeling the same way! I didn't even breastfeed DS and I always felt guilty. I am so determined to do it this time, but I am more nervous about it than the actual L&D. We took a breastfeeding class which seemed to ease some of my fears and it seems like most of the women I have spoke with that bf or have bf, told me that the first 2 weeks are the hardest and then it gets pretty easy after that. I'm pretty determined to not give up so if I have any issues, I'm just going to have my sister help me since she's a pro at it. Smile

Joined: 02/20/11
Posts: 272

It is definitely scary! You'd think BFing is instinct and should be easy, but it really isn't. It takes hard work and determination and lots and lots of support.

I managed to BF DS well and even started studying to be a lactation consultant, but after peer counseling and actually practicing in the field...I decided I couldn't deal with the stress of watching moms fail because they have NO support at home Sad (now I'm an accountant lol!)

Having supportive friends, family, and partner are really key. We are here and I'm glad to PM about it if you need any help or encouragement.

Joined: 01/08/09
Posts: 1023

I can relate to your fears. I BF DD for 18 months last time & I'm still worried about it this time.

Here's my advice... Read & learn everything you can about techniques, problems & solutions. Get as much help as you can from anyone you can (lactation consultants, internet, etc). There are solutions to just about every problem but you have to voice them to a knowledgeable source. If you want to BF, then decide to BF... I know it sounds simple but you have to own it. Then... when problems arise (they will), work to find the solution & proceed as best you can.

The most important thing to remember... Newborns don't need alot of food. But, they seem to like to suck alot. They will get fed & nourished. As long as you are seeing evidence in the diapers, all is good.

Joined: 02/20/11
Posts: 272

"abh413" wrote:

I can relate to your fears. I BF DD for 18 months last time & I'm still worried about it this time.

Here's my advice... Read & learn everything you can about techniques, problems & solutions. Get as much help as you can from anyone you can (lactation consultants, internet, etc). There are solutions to just about every problem but you have to voice them to a knowledgeable source. If you want to BF, then decide to BF... I know it sounds simple but you have to own it. Then... when problems arise (they will), work to find the solution & proceed as best you can.

The most important thing to remember... Newborns don't need alot of food. But, they seem to like to suck alot. They will get fed & nourished. As long as you are seeing evidence in the diapers, all is good.

Yup, and remember that it is a supply and demand thing. Baby will nurse for an hour to tell your breasts that next time baby wants more milk to come out, but it takes a few days or a couple weeks for your breasts to really get the message. Once your breasts recognize that baby is saying "make more at a feeding than you have been" then baby won't need to nurse as long. It is just like growth spurts. Youll go from nursing sessions of an hour to 10 minutes to an hour again to 15 minutes to what feels like 3 hours to 5 minutes... all at what seems like a week at a time. You just need to listen to baby and let your body listen to baby. If baby seems unhappy then figure out why(gassy, spitting up, etc) and then you can attack the most common causes for those things(overactive supply? milk intolerance? my niece reacted to strawberries in my sister's diet!)

But yes, most importantly is you need to find people you can talk to about it constantly and feel comfortable asking for help constantly.

Joined: 02/12/07
Posts: 365

"abh413" wrote:

I can relate to your fears. I BF DD for 18 months last time & I'm still worried about it this time.

Here's my advice... Read & learn everything you can about techniques, problems & solutions. Get as much help as you can from anyone you can (lactation consultants, internet, etc). There are solutions to just about every problem but you have to voice them to a knowledgeable source. If you want to BF, then decide to BF... I know it sounds simple but you have to own it. Then... when problems arise (they will), work to find the solution & proceed as best you can.

The most important thing to remember... Newborns don't need alot of food. But, they seem to like to suck alot. They will get fed & nourished. As long as you are seeing evidence in the diapers, all is good.

This!!!! And know that you are not the only one who ever ran into a problem. There will be an issue or two but there IS a resolution.

K_Lo's picture
Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 1201

I'm sorry you're worrying about it so much, but I can understand. While I BF'd both of my children I had a rough time starting with DS. So I worried and also had anxiety dreams about forgetting to feed DD etc. She learned to BF easily so I guess I'm much more relaxed about it this time.

Jennifer is completely right about the first 2 weeks being the hardest. If you can make it through that time period without introducing a bottle then I think the rest is smooth sailing. Introducing a bottle so soon can cause nipple confusion and supply issues. And nipple confusion is tough to beat! Some babies never have an issue with this, but some do!

My DS did, he preferred to suck on DHs pinky his first few days :rolleyes:. And he was one of those sleepy babies who didnt want to eat until he was screaming hungry. I gave in and gave him a bottle of pumped milk, and that made it worse instantly! What I should have done was give him dropper fuels of EBM until he was settled down enough to try the breast again. But I didn't know, all I knew was my baby was hungry and I had a ton of milk!

Another thing I did wrong with beginning to BF him was I didn't let him spend 24/7 at the breast. The nurses told me exactly how long he should nurse and I carefully followed instruction. So when it was time for him to be done I had to soothe him other ways, like DHs pinky in his mouth.... He wanted to suck! I should have nursed him even though he wasn't eating. It would have given us the chance to perfect his latch before my milk came in and I got engorged. And man his latch was bad, and it hurt! I dreaded every feeding and my nipples were cracked and bleeding! But it goes away, you just have to stick to it and don't give in. And don't let a bad latch slide just because they're eating, you'll regret it because it'll hurt and because they won't learn a proper latch!

Ah so many mistakes I could go on! But I won't :). I hope you first time breastfeeders use this board(and the everything bfing board) for help and moral support. I know it would have helped me my first time! We'll have to start a bf support sticky!

Dylemma's picture
Joined: 09/04/09
Posts: 449

this is the only thing I an worried about too. My last attempt ended with me being a complete wreck and crying for days. It was a very traumatic and painful time. I was determined last time, but for my own mental health and caring for another child I gave up. This time I am determined once again have read books, been to classes etc. My eldest doesnt want me to even try as she remembers what I was like last time, sad huh. I am so dreading it but so want to be successfull at least once. I know you are not supposed to feel like a failure but it has been hard not too.

OregonJewels's picture
Joined: 12/29/10
Posts: 344

Just do your best, that is all you can do. The more pressure you put on yourself the harder it is likely to be. If you make it about the bonding then it will probably work out. You may have before but, if you are struggling dont hesitate to get some help from a lactation consultant. I did that with my first and a simple shift in how I was holding him made all the difference in the world. It is a natural thing but doesnt always come so naturally in the beginning.
Btw, I really really admire you for pumping for so long, to me that was always so much harder than nursing. It sounds to me like you were actually really dedicated.

Joined: 11/07/06
Posts: 707

I am terrified if I'm being honest.....While I have NO regrest that NONE of my others were breastfed I have decided to give it a go this time. My fear is this........that since I HAVE to go back to work atleast by 2 weeks after birth (probably sooner) that if I get her going on the breast its going to be difficult to get her to take a bottle for my mom, or friend whoever is watching her. Everyone always says NOT to give a bottle within that time frame but I HAVE to so we'll see.

K_Lo's picture
Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 1201

"mommy2four" wrote:

I am terrified if I'm being honest.....While I have NO regrest that NONE of my others were breastfed I have decided to give it a go this time. My fear is this........that since I HAVE to go back to work atleast by 2 weeks after birth (probably sooner) that if I get her going on the breast its going to be difficult to get her to take a bottle for my mom, or friend whoever is watching her. Everyone always says NOT to give a bottle within that time frame but I HAVE to so we'll see.

I wouldn't worry too much about baby not taking a bottle after only 2 weeks. Bottles are easier to get milk out of so a baby that young shouldn't mind it. It's only after months of ebfing that baby doesn't care for a bottle. Even then I've heard that if a baby wont take a bottle from mom, there's a chance they will take one from someone else, like grandma :). My DD never took a bottle, but I was so scared about her liking it and never going back I didn't try until she was 4 months old or so. By then it was too late :). But honestly we didn't try very hard since I SAH. She probably would have given in if I wasn't there and she didn't have a choice.

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