Help!! Need sleep! (Long)

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jac81's picture
Joined: 11/22/10
Posts: 1131
Help!! Need sleep! (Long)

The last 3 nights Sophia has woken up from a nap at around 8:30 PM, nurse and then want to stay up until about 11:30 PM and then she gets sleepy. She gets real fussy when she's sleepy and I've never believed in the 'crying it out' method, but I've never seen a baby that actually prefers it to go to sleep. She does it even if I'm holding her! She'll go to sleep after crying for a good 5 minutes, but the moment I move to put her down she starts screaming, I get her back to sleep either by holding her, rocking her, or nursing, try to put her down and she starts screaming again. This goes on until wee hours in the morning. One night it lasted until 3:00 AM and last night it lasted until 1:30 AM. I was having an issue with her staying asleep in her bassinet for longer than 10 minutes once I did get her down without crying, but I solved that by putting a t-shirt of mine in there so once she's good and tired she will stay asleep, but I still have the issue of her not wanting to go to sleep until early morning and I'm exhausted!!! Plus I've been having to spend all my time in the living room downstairs so she doesn't wake DH or DS. I would love nothing more than to just go to bed the same time as my family.

She has several hours of play time during the day so I don't think she's sleeping too much. I'm thinking maybe she's napping too late and that may be why she's not tired until about 11:30 so I'm going to try to keep her up. I just wish she didn't fight sleep until morning. I've thought about even swaddling her again because it seems like its my movement of me laying her down that wakes her up, but she hated being swaddled before so I don't even know if that will work. Anyone have any ideas of why she may be fighting her sleep or how to get her to stop fighting her sleep other than co-sleeping? Co-sleeping is how I've been able to get some sleep the last couple of nights since it seems like she's only content in my arms. Except last night when the t-shirt trick worked, but I don't sleep well because I'm scared I'm going to smother her and plus I'm stiff and sore in the morning because I don't move an inch. We've actually had many nights like this, but its getting consistent now and I'm feeling like I did the first couple of days after she was born. I have to fix this before I go back to work in 3 weeks or I will be a walking zombie!!

kittenchan's picture
Joined: 08/12/07
Posts: 1118

I can't promise this will work, but here's what we do with Conor.

1. I try to get him out sometime in the afternoon. They say sunlight helps them know it's day, even if they're sleeping when you take them out.

2. At 10ish, before I feed Conor, I give him a dose of Milicon. This helps cut down on the gas he might feel that keeps him from sleeping.

3. I put some used breast pads into his bassinet so he thinks I'm there (like your t shirt!).

4. I try to sit somewhere that I can move easily when he's fallen asleep without waking him. This is easier said than done and might take some experimentation.

5. If he wakes up when I put him down, I don't pick him up immediately. That doesn't mean I let him cry it out, but I pat him from outside the bassinet, give him a pacifier, etc.

Good luck, I'm sorry it's been so hard for you recently.

wobbs's picture
Joined: 05/27/10
Posts: 1502

Here's some things that seem to be helping here (keep in mind with my times that dh and I are up for the day at 530):
-when she wakes to eat at around 5-530, I use that as a playtime, keeping her unswaddled (I seem to have another swaddle addict)
-around 8pm I change her, reswaddle, and nurse.
-usually she's down at 8:45, I don't actually try to put her down until she's settled into a deep sleep, which is another 15-20 minutes.
-she does start the night in her bassinet, and if she stirs while I'm putting her down, I try to gently lay my hand on her tummy to let her know I'm still there.
:openarms: it's never easy figuring out what's going to work the best for your entire family I hope you find something that works soon.

jac81's picture
Joined: 11/22/10
Posts: 1131

Thanks!! I think I may try swaddling her again. Her bassinet is right next to our bed so if she starts crying I always just place my hand on her tummy or rub her head to let her know I'm there, but she doesn't buy it. LOL! I'm afraid she may figure out the t-shirt trick I pulled on her last night.

ladyscott's picture
Joined: 07/03/03
Posts: 58

My LO does almost the exact same thing ! From about 9pm-12am every night! He is fussy and nothing calms works but to hold him and nurse every 30min and inbetween nursing he just cries! I'm soooo exhausted! He sleeps alot throughout the day/evening and its hard to keep him awake, plus it's easier to just let him sleep when I'm doing the nightly routine with my other two LO's. Hope you get rest soon!

Joined: 03/07/05
Posts: 1595

My first dd slept swaddled in a cradle swing. With my second I let her sleep on her tummy, and she would sleep MUCH better. With my 3-5 I just let them sleep cradled in my arms right next to me. I've gotten the most and the best sleep (as well as my babies) with the last 3!

Joined: 02/20/11
Posts: 272

Cosleeping is an amazing thing, but it is definitely awkward at first. It is our instinct to sleep lighter and move less when we sleep with baby in bed. You get over the fear after a few days and settle into a normal and comfortable, but still light sleep. And it is a much better sleep than dealing with constant waking hours in the middle of the night.

I have to tell you that with my first I was miserable the first few weeks of his life trying to get him to sleep in his own bed. He would wake the moment I put him down, even if he was swaddled, etc... one night I just had enough and baby proofed the bed(you shouldn't cosleep if you can't do it safely) and brought him to bed and OMG I never looked back!

I started cosleeping with this one in the hospital, I slept better with him close by. I wouldn't have it any different. In his 5 weeks I haven't been sleep deprived at all. After healing from my birth trauma and chest cold I went to feeling like my normal rested self.

I just feel so much safer with my babies within arms reach.

I don't want to seem pushy with my opinion, but you can safely cosleep and do so much better!

If you aren't comfortable with her in the bed with you, what about sidecarring her crib?
http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/turn-your-crib-into-cosleeper.html
http://sidecarcrib.webs.com/

If I didn't have a KING sized bed ALL to myself to share with the baby, I would sidecar his bed. I wouldn't trust my partner to cosleep with baby, they say to put mom between baby and anyone else in the bed, so if I was sharing the bed I would do a sidecar.

Also I know cosleeping isnt for everyone and some people shouldn't do it, but give it a little thought. The sidecarring is a good compromise for a lot of people.

blondiess4u's picture
Joined: 11/08/07
Posts: 1450

I could of posted the exact same thing! Nicholas has never been a great sleeper so I don't expect much, but he usually wakes up every 1 1/2-2 hours to eat. One night he was going 3 hour stretches and it felt great. He usually likes to wake up at 12am and stay awake but since I haven't gotten much sleep I try my hardest to get him back to sleep. He doesn't start going to back to sleep after eating until early morning. I remember one morning at 2 am I bouncing on the excercise ball with him thinking what in the world did I get myself into.
I have a hard time getting him back to sleep, seems like I have to always get his perfect sleeping position with just the right noice and motion. It's difficult! Expecially when your tires yourself and feel like you could just fall over.
Have you ever read The Happies Baby on the Block? I LOVE that book about the 5 S's. (Swaddling, Side laying Shhhing, swing, sucking) This is the only thing I found really works for me, but it sounds like the other ladies has pretty good advice too!

How'd she sleep last night? Nicholas did better with the gas drops before bed and he slept right next to me but still woke up about 5 times! ughh!

jac81's picture
Joined: 11/22/10
Posts: 1131

"blondiess4u" wrote:

I could of posted the exact same thing! Nicholas has never been a great sleeper so I don't expect much, but he usually wakes up every 1 1/2-2 hours to eat. One night he was going 3 hour stretches and it felt great. He usually likes to wake up at 12am and stay awake but since I haven't gotten much sleep I try my hardest to get him back to sleep. He doesn't start going to back to sleep after eating until early morning. I remember one morning at 2 am I bouncing on the excercise ball with him thinking what in the world did I get myself into.
I have a hard time getting him back to sleep, seems like I have to always get his perfect sleeping position with just the right noice and motion. It's difficult! Expecially when your tires yourself and feel like you could just fall over.
Have you ever read The Happies Baby on the Block? I LOVE that book about the 5 S's. (Swaddling, Side laying Shhhing, swing, sucking) This is the only thing I found really works for me, but it sounds like the other ladies has pretty good advice too!

How'd she sleep last night? Nicholas did better with the gas drops before bed and he slept right next to me but still woke up about 5 times! ughh!

I am so relieved that I'm not the only one. DS was never like this. He was such an easy baby!! Haha! DH took me out for our first date night since the baby and my mom called me about 11 PM and told me that she's such a high maintenance baby. I could hear Sophia just screaming away in the background. Poor grandma!! LOL! I never read that book before, but my mom gave me a DVD called The Happiest Baby on the Block when I had DS and I never watched it. May have to dig it out and watch it now!

She actually slept great last night. She was still fussy for a long time and didn't go to sleep until midnight, but she stayed asleep when I put her down. She only woke up at 2AM and 6AM and never had a problem going back to her bassinet either. I'm hoping its not a fluke! I still need to work with her on getting to bed early though.

jac81's picture
Joined: 11/22/10
Posts: 1131

Yep...total fluke! Its almost 3am and she's still wide awake. She's been up since 8pm. I'm so frustrated I could cry! Sad Not even co-sleeping is working! She just flat out refuses to go to sleep.

wobbs's picture
Joined: 05/27/10
Posts: 1502

:openarms: I know it's completely obvious, but are you keeping lights and noise down at night? I hope she lets you get some sleep soon.

blondiess4u's picture
Joined: 11/08/07
Posts: 1450

"jac81" wrote:

Yep...total fluke! Its almost 3am and she's still wide awake. She's been up since 8pm. I'm so frustrated I could cry! Sad Not even co-sleeping is working! She just flat out refuses to go to sleep.

ughhh! Not good! Definitely watch or read Happiest baby on the Block! Do you try walking around with her to try to get her back to sleep? I would find what soothes and relaxes her the most to to try to get her sleepy whether its a bath or a car ride, Sounds like she gets overtired and then cant get back to sleep.

Joined: 02/20/11
Posts: 272

Is she passing gas too? Maybe it is something you are eating.

We've been having colic spells from 9-12 every night for the past 2 weeks. I do not believe it is just colic, I think it is something in my diet. He doesnt have a lot of gas, but towards the end of these spells he usually lets out a hard fart or has a big wet one. Then he finally manages to fall asleep and spends the next 30 minutes letting out more gas in his sleep.

I think I have narrowed it down to tomatoes. I avoided all things red the first couple weeks because I had some residual heartburn and I didn't want to aggravate it, now I eat whatever.
So I am going to cut them back out and see if it helps.

Even if your diet hasn't changed, they can grow sensitivities to things in your milk after a while of exposure. I am also cutting what little diary left in my diet out to see if he grew an intolerance to it(I only eat cheese, nothing else, and I've eaten it since day 1 without problem, but it is the most common irritant)

Joined: 11/07/06
Posts: 707

Alli is usually pretty good about going back to sleep, however about 3-4 nights a week she spends atleast 2 hours sleeping in my arms. Her bassinet is in the living room and rather than moving it to my bedroom at night and back in here during the day I just sleep on the couch. So I sepnd those 2 hours sitting up sideways on the couch with pillows under her and my arm propped up against the back of the couch so she is right up on my chest. This usually happens after she wakes to eat between 1-3. Tonight I am going to sleep with one of her little wash rags until then and put it in her bassinet when I put her back down and see if that helps. She sleeps holding on to her blanket or burp cloth so maybe if she holds it AND it smells like me she'll stay in her bassinet...

Sorry to ramble..lol

jac81's picture
Joined: 11/22/10
Posts: 1131

I did everything I could think of to get her to sleep last night! She finally went to sleep at 4:30AM. I was searching online to see if this is common for a 6 week old and apparently it is, but it could also very well be my diet. She's fast asleep right now. I got her to sleep at a decent time too! The only thing I cut out today is my diet cokes. I thought I was being smart by drinking caffeine free, but I guess it doesn't matter. I'm going to miss my diet cokes! Sad

Joined: 02/20/11
Posts: 272

It is my guilty pleasure too!

My lactation consultant said that carbonation can cause problems too, so maybe it is that?

Go 2 weeks without it and if it gets better then you know, if not you can keep drinking it and maybe try something else.

It is also possible she still has her days and nights mixed up. The only thing I know to do to try to help reset them is keeping her awake during the day for longer stretches, which is misery as well.

When do you go back to work? Everything will change again when that happens as the daycare will put her on a different schedule with the feedings and noises from other children and people. She may be exhausted by the time you pick her up and get her home and go right to sleep and sleep for a long time, then have you up again in the middle of the night. So be warned of that possibility too.

jac81's picture
Joined: 11/22/10
Posts: 1131

I go back on November 21st so I'm praying she'll be back to her normal sleeping habits soon.