Jealousy
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Thread: Jealousy

  1. #1
    Prolific Poster blondiess4u's Avatar
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    Default Jealousy

    For those with LO's already... are you worried about jealousy when the baby arrives? Is anyone thinking about how to deal with this huge life change for them?
    I have been worried alot about it because DS has been my life for the past 3 years and he is so used to getting lots of one on one time. I am trying not to feel guilty about having another one, but sometimes I can't help it. Wondering if anyone had any idea on how to transition their LO's for this new arrival?! I have been reading alot about it and I thought I would share a few things I have read on websites to help with the transition. Feel free to chime in!

    *When DS comes to the hospital I will have the baby in the bassinet and my arms free so he can be held or he can check out the baby on his own.

    * always reconize and say hello to him first. Baby is to young to have their feelings hurt over this.

    * Let him/her help with baby. Have them wash the baby's feet at bathtime. I will be getting DS a doll so he can take care of his doll while I take care of the baby.

    * Always have a gift for your LO when someone brings over something for the baby. My parents have gifts for him and baby when they come. It makes sense!

    * Put a picture of the baby up in his/her room. Tell them that it's their baby too!

    * Take them on special trips without baby and tell the that baby is not old enough to do this yet and it's special just for them.

    * Get down on their level when you talk to them. Make them feel like they are apart of this change.

    That's all I have. I am curious what everyone else's thoughts on this are.
    Samantha


    DS1-5/17/08 6lbs 6oz
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  2. #2
    Super Poster Dylemma's Avatar
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    My eldest was 6 when I had my second, and we never had any issues at all. But then I included her in everything and did get her a gift from the baby. As I had the last one at home I was still holding the baby and she was still attached to me and all dirty when DD came in. Didn't seem to bother or affect her lol But then maybe at 6 it was easier for her to understand. My youngest turns 4 in Sept so we will see how it goes is time. Not planning on doing anything different. Who knows they may both be here and witness the birth, so that could be interesting lol
    DH Michael together since 1998
    03/2000
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    DD 09/2007
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  3. #3
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    OMG ! I am having nightmares about how my then 19 months DD will take it ... till recently I have been with her 24X7... ofcourse trying now to spend some time alone in her playroom with her nanny. But as my stomach is growing she is clinging more and more. I am most worried about the time I will have to spend away at the hospital during my delivery, as DD sleeps with us and starts crying if she doesn't see me ( even for those 25 seconds I get up to pee at night !!!)... phew !!
    Sonia
    DD 15 months
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  4. #4
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    I'm not at all worried about the older 4......they've all done this before. DS#4 does worry me every once in awhile. He will be almost the exact age DD was when he was born so I am hoping he is as okay with another baby as she was. We will see...
    Amanda~mommy to Kodey & Kaleb 4/29/99,Cameron 4/30/00,Cheyann 10/14/03, Cole 11/16/07, and Alli 09/30/11

  5. #5
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    I'm just planning on involving S with as much as I can and I'm hoping she's able to be at the hospital ASAP after he's born. Lots of hugs and cuddles and reminders that we aren't replacing her.
    Savannah 5/28/08


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  6. #6
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    I'm not worried about jealousy so much as concerned about the time I'll get to spend with Finn, especially while having to BF two babies. I feel like I'M going to be jealous of DH spending time with Finn cause I'll miss him so.
    Mira
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    Posting Addict irishgirl's Avatar
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    We made sure that DH spent a lot of extra time with Fiona when Rowynn was born. He took her out to the store and out to eat and out to pick out some special toys and stuff. We did the presents for her thing too. She had her own baby doll.
    I don't remember who was holding Rowynn when Fiona came to the hospital. We talked about it A LOT. She did really well and was never jealous and still isn't.
    I have no idea what to do since Rowynn is so much younger this time. She's really attached to my dad and DH though, so I'm not to worried ... she would get jealous if they paid a lot of attention to the baby but she would care less if I did.

  8. #8
    Mega Poster wobbs's Avatar
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    I'm trying not to worry about it too much. I'm planning on having a fair bit of family help when this one in born, mostly to keep Annabelle busy until we can settle into a routine.
    Dana
    DD Annabelle 04/08/10 DD Gillian 09/29/11


  9. #9
    Posting Addict K_Lo's Avatar
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    I'm not worried at all. But I was scared to death when DD was born! DS was barely 17 months and just so tiny still! But I included him in every aspect of taking care of DD and, while I didn't plan it this way, he sort of turned his lovey monkey named Georgie into his baby. We changed his diaper every time we changed Gracie's and I held him while I nursed her too. We all laughed about how they were like twins . He wasn't jealous at all, he had a new best friend and I know its going to be the same this time. DS can't wait to meet Caleb and DD tells everyone (including strangers) about baby Caleb in mommy's tummy. They're gonna be the three musketeer, I'm so excited two see my kids loving on him!

    ETA: Yes to what Mira said, I was completely jealous that DH got to spend so much fun time with DS. Since I had a C/S I wasn't really allowed to do all the cool stuff they were doing and I was nursing 24/7 anyway . This time I'm hoping to VBAC so Caleb and I can participate more!
    Last edited by K_Lo; 07-13-2011 at 12:04 AM.
    ~Karen~
    DH:5/26/07
    Christian: 3/10/08
    Grace: 8/17/09
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