MIL is making me crazy!

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kittenchan's picture
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MIL is making me crazy!

Tell me what you think.

MIL and SFIL are in town for a week to help out. This is very nice of them, and I appreciate all the help I can get! On Friday, they want to go cut down their Christmas tree at a farm that isn't too far from where we live. I have agreed, much to my dislike of doing this, to take DD out of school so that she may go with them. My MIL really wants Conor and I to go, too. I don't want to go since it's going to be quite cold, and it takes her FOREVER to pick out a tree. I feel like if she would just pick one, it'd be okay, but that's not how she works. I told her that I get to choose if we go or not, not her. Well, now she's whining about how important it is, what a great family tradition, etc. Well, it's not OUR family tradition (yet. We plan to do this when the kids are older and will enjoy it more). She's like "I can handle both kids, you can stay home. Makes me want to rip out my hair! I told her that if I don't go, Conor doesn't go. Now she keeps looking at me like she's sad or disappointed, and I haven't even confirmed if I'm going or not! Some other reasons I'm unsure about going are the following: I'd have to take the truck. The kids don't ride in the truck, and since it doesn't technically belong to us (a neighbor lent it to us), I can't have SFIL drive it. So both kids would have to ride with the ILs. While this doesn't bother me, I don't want Conor to be away from me too long if he's fussy, and he hates car rides (Okay, he hates his car seat Wink ). I'm also concerned with the trip to the farm overlapping with feeding time for Conor and/or nap time for him or his sister. While it's not a big deal for DD, I don't want to mess up his schedule too much. Again, see above where I said it'd be okay if MIL would just pick out her tree instead of having to hike acres to find it.. DH wouldn't be going. He has to work. And.. Lastly, I feel perfectly fine driving down to the local farmer's stand and just buying a tree there.. Ahh, I guess I'm getting worked up over nothing. What do you guys think I should do?

wobbs's picture
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Ouch! Well, honestly if it was me, I would just go to the farmers stand and pick out a tree there, but from the sound of it, that would really upset your mil. How cold is cold? If it's around freezing, I would go as a family, and wear Conor in a carrier - keeps him toasty warm and happy. A bit colder than that, and I would let Callie go with MIL, and stay warm at home with Conor. If it's fairly cold (-15C or colder), I would just tell your mil that she can pick out your tree by herself.

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I loooooooove picking out Christmas trees and cutting them down, so personally I'd be super excited to go and walk around in the freezing cold to find the perfect tree lol In fact we ended up at Lowes the other night (much to my disappointment... but the tree farms around here close at 4 pm and DH isn't even home from work then and I didn't want to wait till this weekend to get our tree). We were out with both kids in 30* weather in the rain picking out a tree

But if that's not what you want to do, then don't be bullied into going. That's what it comes right down to, really.

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I completely understand this post. My MIL drives me up the wall! These days, it could be the smallest thing and I just want to walk away. Here is an example, My dh smokes, and so does his whole family (my 2 SIL, BIL, FIL, MIL...they all smoke..lots), I don't smoke and swore to myself that I would never date someone who did...well I married someone who smokes. He knows I hate it, especially around my kids, plus its no good for him. Well two days ago, my dh was leaving for camp and my mil bought a carton of smokes for him, so my dh says to me "You owe my mom money for smokes" and i said, "I thought you were quitting smoking" and my MIL with her big mouth says in a raised voice "He'll quit smoking when you quit going on your computer and cell phone"...................I just walked away before I said something I couldnt take back. I hate going to her house b/c her and my FIL smoke in it....not when the kids are there but whats the difference right??? Anyways...I get worked up about little things (like your xmas tree shopping) but there is always more that come with these emotions... she flat out drives me crazy!!!!

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I'm generally easy going and am up for anything. But when I say no I don't want to do something I absolutely hate when people try to pressure me, it makes me angry! So I completely understand! Especially since DH isn't going, for me that would be a deal breaker.

kittenchan's picture
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"K_Lo" wrote:

I'm generally easy going and am up for anything. But when I say no I don't want to do something I absolutely hate when people try to pressure me, it makes me angry! So I completely understand! Especially since DH isn't going, for me that would be a deal breaker.

Sounds just like me! I'm really easy going, and I HATE it when people pressure me to do something (even something fun). What we ended up doing was having them go with DD and they cut down a tree for us. Best of both worlds!