Need some parenting advice!

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jac81's picture
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Need some parenting advice!

DS has been struggling in kindergarten. He has a late birthday which makes him a little more immature than his classmates and he also has a hard time focusing. I honestly wanted to wait an extra year before putting him in school, but DH felt like he was ready. I should have went with my gut because we are now at the point where we will have to decide whether he should repeat Kindergarten. His teacher said that she feels he will benefit greatly by repeating and I agree. DH has a bit of an ego issue so I'm going to have to get him on board. I'd rather he repeat than for him to fail 1st grade. So how do I explain this to DS without making him feel like he's dumb or a failure? He was so excited about going into 1st grade and now I have to explain that he will not be going for another year.

I feel like this is all my fault and that I'm a terrible mother! Sad

blondiess4u's picture
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such a hard situation but don't feel bad. It sounds like you are a very good mother by being concerned about this. I would agree that repeating kindergarten is a good idea. There is nothing worse then him falling behind. He would feel more behind if he went on and wasn't ready then telling him he is staying where he is. You could just tell him that first grade starts alittle later without telling him he is being held back. I repeated kindergarten when I was little due to daycare issues but I learned so much because there is so much to learn when you start school and now they are requiring alot more out of these LO's. Good luck and just use your instincts!

jac81's picture
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Thanks, Samantha! Smile It's just so hard to see him struggle and I've even had a couple of people suggest that he maybe he had ADHD, but I'm not entirely convinced of that yet. It's probably just him being a boy and he has a lot of growing up to do.

blondiess4u's picture
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"jac81" wrote:

Thanks, Samantha! Smile It's just so hard to see him struggle and I've even had a couple of people suggest that he maybe he had ADHD, but I'm not entirely convinced of that yet. It's probably just him being a boy and he has a lot of growing up to do.

My DS1 is in speech therapy so I know how hard it is to have them fall behind. The speech therapist just told me that boys are just so immature compared to girls and they don't care as much, so I wouldn't look into ADHD just yet unless it's a major problem.

kittenchan's picture
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Staying back in kindergarten is much preferred to staying back in any other grade. Tell your DH that solidifying DS's Kindergarten skills will give him a huge advantage in first grade. Your DS will love repeating because he'll already know a lot of stuff! Remember, 1st grade is possibly the biggest transition in elementary school. Kids have to learn to be more independent AND it's the grade in which they truly learn to read! (all this from an elementary school teacher - I know that a K repeat will only help your son!)

jac81's picture
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We decided that we are going to go ahead and have him repeat. DH agrees with me and thinks that it is best for him. We still haven't told DS though. We may just wait until the end of the school year.

lil96's picture
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Things where I am are differnt than USA, but KG can start at 3 and the children start 1st grade the year they turn 6, if the child is born Sept-Dec they may start 1st the year they turn 7. For example my oldest is also an Oct baby, she started KG when she was 3 turning 4. She will be in KG at least 2 years, if not 3. Nearly everyone here has at least one year of KG.
Anyway point is, does he know he is supposed to go on to 1st? If you just don't tell him, maybe it won't bother him? Also because of my oldests late bday I asked her if she wants to start 1st grade as the oldest or the youngest, she wants to be the oldest. Mainly because her bff in KG is the oldest currently (and my daughter the youngest, so my daughter was 3 turning 4 and she was 5 turning 6). Maybe if you put it like that he won't care?

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Sorry I came upon this so late!

I'm glad you and DH agree on what to do. I'm sure whatever your instincts tell you to do is the right thing. You're such a great mom, you really know your children and what is right for them. He will do fine! KUP on how he takes it.