So there's an issue with the in-laws and I'm wondering what you would do in this situation.
I won't go into what 'X' is because I don't want y'all to get hung up on whether you agree with that particular part of it.
Last month, DD (3 yrs) spent the night with her grandparents (DH's dad and step mom) about an hour and a half from here at DH's grandma's house. This was the first time she had ever spent the night away from home. When they picked her up, DH and I said "Have fun! Please don't let her do X." They tried to argue that doing X would be okay and DH and I both said "No, that is something we do not want her doing unless we are there." They did X with her anyway.
Now they are wanting her to go and spend the night with them again at the grandma's house. We TWICE, and under no uncertain circumstances, told them NOT to let her do X and they did it anyway (went out of their way to make it possible, in fact).
Would you let her spend the night with them again?