Thread: Question for those of you who already have one or more kids

So there's an issue with the in-laws and I'm wondering what you would do in this situation.

I won't go into what 'X' is because I don't want y'all to get hung up on whether you agree with that particular part of it.

Last month, DD (3 yrs) spent the night with her grandparents (DH's dad and step mom) about an hour and a half from here at DH's grandma's house. This was the first time she had ever spent the night away from home. When they picked her up, DH and I said "Have fun! Please don't let her do X." They tried to argue that doing X would be okay and DH and I both said "No, that is something we do not want her doing unless we are there." They did X with her anyway.

Now they are wanting her to go and spend the night with them again at the grandma's house. We TWICE, and under no uncertain circumstances, told them NOT to let her do X and they did it anyway (went out of their way to make it possible, in fact).

Would you let her spend the night with them again?

I would, but only after making it very clear that it is one last chance, that you are the parents, and your wishes must be followed. Of course, that goes out the window if X is something completly unsafe.

I agree with Dana for the most part. And I know you don't want to tell us what X was but I think it would depend on what it was ya know? Like if I asked them not to take her for ice cream I'd be more than likely to blow it of than if they had taken her say swimming without me (of course I am extremely picky about my kids going near water or to huge crowded public places without ME).

I agree with Wobbs!
I'd give them one final chance and make sure that our wishes were VERY clear and that they were aware of the consequences.
I can sympathize in that my DH and I have had this discussion with MIL and my mother. It's awkward but they know that it's how we wish to raise our son and have stopped doing "X".

Good Luck!

Originally Posted by mommy2four

I agree with Dana for the most part. And I know you don't want to tell us what X was but I think it would depend on what it was ya know? Like if I asked them not to take her for ice cream I'd be more than likely to blow it of than if they had taken her say swimming without me (of course I am extremely picky about my kids going near water or to huge crowded public places without ME).

ding ding ding... nail on the head.... We asked them twice not to take her to the pool at her aunt's house without us and they did it anyway.

She can't swim yet, but the child grew up in Hawaii and to say that she has NO fear of the water is an understatement. I had to hold her back from going into the ocean when the big 30, 40, 50 foot waves were coming in. She will jump off of the diving board into the deep end of the water whether someone is there to catch her or not.

So I'm generally skittish about her being around water and *I* am super careful with her when *I* am there with her. I am not comfortable with her being at the pool without me.

The fact that they blatantly ignored our wishes is too much for me. I'm pretty laid back about EVERYthing else (couldn't care LESS if they gave her ice cream... she's spending the night with them, guess who DOESN'T have to deal with that sugar high lol) but the pool I am not okay with.

No!!! She is only 3, she has several years ahead of her for sleepovers, and clearly they are not putting her best interests and your wishes first.
This is coming from someone and the exact same posuition

Swimming!?!?! I would be LIVID!!!! My kids are not allowed near pools or ocean with anyone but dh or I, that is a major no no!!!!

I'd tell them that yes they can but you had to think about it long and hard because of what happened last time. Make it clear that this is the last time you'll trust them. I'd also tell them swimming lessons would make a nice gift next time her birthday or Christmas rolls around.

I'd want to be kinder, but I would probably say no. Maybe when she's older.

I wouldn't. But, I have plenty of inlaw problems of my own LOL. IMO, if you blatently ignore my wishes, then you can't be trusted. I'm pretty harsh so even if it was just ice cream... I probably wouldn't let my child go again until they were older. Swimming is a serious violation though. Just my 2 cents.