A weekend from Hell....longgg

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Last seen: 4 years 7 months ago
Joined: 03/15/11
Posts: 48
A weekend from Hell....longgg

First off, My Dh works M-T with weekends off, and I work shift work so I worked at 7am on Saturday. My dh asked if it was alright if he went out to camp Friday night and he would get his mother to watch my 2 yr old daughter while I was at work, so she had to be at my house by 6am Sat morning. I was annoyed mostly because my DD is at daycare all week and it breaks my heart to have someone watch her the days that I or my Dh can... but I agreed. 6am rolls around and my MIL shows up with my DH's 5 yr old neice. Now I am even more pissed off because this 5 yr old has been sick all week and off school with a fever. And to boot, my MIL says her mom was just at home (but probably out bar hopping the night before) Why the hell would you wake up at 5 yr old at 6 am to bring her somewhere if she could have just stayed home???

So anyways I get home from work and the plan was to meet my DH halfway to camp and he would pick up Me, my daughter and my friend. So he finally shows up [with his cousin] and I can tell he's been drinking. I ask him how much he's had to drink, he said 2 beer, I ask if I should drive, he says No. So were heading down our road to camp and theres a cop. We get pulled over and the cop can smell beer so he takes me DH out. To find out that he blows over the limit and the cop tells me he could take my dh to jail DUI. Now I am crying, very upset...the cop decides to give him a "warning" and a 3 day suspension - he kept saying how he felt for my 2 yr old daughter and i (6 months prego) and he said " i have a heart"....On the way back, my dh just laughs about it like nothing happened...meanwhilke i am so upset I cant even talk or I might cry again....

So I drove, kept heading to camp but at this point I just wanted to go home. 8pm rolls around and we all want to play cards. Well, my FIL(father in law) wants to play outside on the screened porch so he can smoke. I straight up said, I am not playing out there A) because I am pregnant and I do not need to be sitting in smoke and Dirol my daughter is still awake and I do not need her near cigarette smoke. So completely annoyed, my friend and i decide to sit insdie the camp while everyone else plays outside....

Sunday is finally here...we head home pretty early and because my dh cant drive, my FIL asks him to ride with him. I get home and then I get a call from my dh to come pick him up from my inlaws house. EVEN MORE ANNOYEd, i ask, "well why couldnt he drive you home? Its on the way"...my dh gets mad and i say okay i'll be there in 10 minutes.

So as soon as I get out of the car, my MIL comes up to me and says "I gave him a spanking" and I was like "OKAY, you let [my FIL} drive drunk all the time, and my dh has come home after drinking at her house too...dont talk to my about it." So my daughter wakes up (after sleeping since 1 hr camp ride) and my MIL brings out a candy bag. So I tell her, no she doesnt need candy. 5 minutes later, I go inside and what do i find? My daughter with a BOWL of the sugar candy (that is pkged in fruit shapes, same sugar you find with Lick a Stick thing) Anyways, furious I take the sugar away and say "I told you she doesnt need candy and you give her sugar"....what do they say "Its not sugar"....OF COURSE ITS SUGAR...So I leave and my MIL says to my dh "tell her she cant talk to my like that"

This is what I was thinking >{Well guess what, I can talk to you whatever way I want. Its my daughter, and what I say goes. She didnt even have a real breakfast never mind it being lunch time and you gave her SUGAR" WOW. I was sooooo mad.} So I get into the truck and my husband flips out on me saying "do not talk to my mother that way"..........blah blah blah

My husband does not stick up for me in any way and we are in the process of building a house...beside his parents!! I just dont no what to do anymore...he has been so imature and irresponsible and when hes around his parents I mean nothing. I am an opionated person and I say what I feel. My Dh has actually told me to keep my mouth shut when i am around his family. They all think I am a *****, mostly because I stick up for myself. When I am with his family, it is me against my inlaws and his two sisters. And they are ALWAYS right.

I just feel I want to give up on this marriage, slowly its just bringing me down (him and his family) and soon I wont be able to take it anymore (emotionally, physically everything). I just needed to rant somewhere, and get the support I need to stay strong. Theres nothing worse then being pregnant and thinking about being a single mom to two little ones. Sad

Last seen: 4 years 1 month ago
Joined: 11/07/06
Posts: 707

HUGS girlie!!!! If you ever want to talk you can PM me......I am a single momma with 5 kiddos plus baby on the way..

jac81's picture
Last seen: 3 years 6 months ago
Joined: 11/22/10
Posts: 1131

I'm so sorry you had a rough weekend. Sad I had a bad weekend too, but your weekend sounds like it was much more stressful than mine. There have been plenty of times that I have felt like giving up too, but somehow we always work things out. Sounds like you need to just sit down with DH and explain to him that his mother seems to not respect you as a mom and would appreciate it if he would understand that and speak with her about it. I recently went through the same type of problems with my MIL and had to explain to DH how it makes me feel when she undermines me as a mother. Thankfully everything has gotten much better! Hope the week starts looking better for you!

pwbattist's picture
Last seen: 3 years 11 months ago
Joined: 02/04/11
Posts: 235
Totally Justified

It sounds to me like your anger towards your husband and family is completely justified. You can try the serious talk....but if he's done it before, I don't know how effective it would be unless you think it helped the last time.

Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

It really troubles me to read posts like this, what is wrong with these men??? I had an ex-husband who continually let me down and that is why he is an EX HUSBAND. If things don't get better you'll end up getting more resentful. I know first hand how hard it is to leave and trust me, there's no Good time to do it, anytime will be hard at first but then life gets soooooo much better! Know your own self worth, you deserve respect, your children deserve a good father and husband. I really hope things improve for you. I'm not saying you should leave your DH but you are already on a path to divorce if he doesn't make CHANGES. I wish I knew the things I know now ten years ago, I just didn't see that I deserved better. I am with an amazing man now, I can't believe I used to put up with what I did, my children deserved better too.

AimeeLynne's picture
Last seen: 5 years 2 days ago
Joined: 09/29/08
Posts: 572

I would be SUPER POed if he drove with any type of alcohol in his system with my child and unborn child in the car!!! I have no idea how I would handle your situation, but I know you need to try to get things resolved now, or it will get worse. DH needs to grow up, and his parents need to butt out. MIL needs to understand that you are the mother and what you say goes (unless its hurting your child). ((((HUUGGSS))), I really hope you guys can sit down and resolve things soon!

Last seen: 4 years 6 months ago
Joined: 02/20/11
Posts: 865

I so feel for you! I just gave my dh an ultimatum myself. Ugh!

OregonJewels's picture
Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 12/29/10
Posts: 344

WOW! First I will say that you have every right and reason to be pissed! I would get fed up with that bs really really fast! But, I will give you the same advice I try to give myself while I am pregnant...just try to hold your tongue while you are preggo because your hormones are just wild right now. I know, I hate hearing that from anyone and it really pisses me off when my DH says I am hormonal, but unfortunately it can really be true. I have made some enemies and some seriously huge mistakes when I was pregnant that I doubt I wouldve done if I wasnt hormonal. It is just insane to make such big life altering decisions now, wait until your baby is like 6 mnths old and see if you feel the dsame way. In the meantime just tell them to take it easy on you, they should understand(especially your MIL) how hard things are to take when you are pregnant.

Last seen: 3 years 11 months ago
Joined: 10/24/10
Posts: 470

I'm sorry you are going through this! :bigarmhug:

K_Lo's picture
Last seen: 3 years 12 months ago
Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 1201

Wow that was one terrible weekend! I am completely shocked your DH behaved that way. Drunk driving is no laughing matter! And it's ridiculous he couldn't even back you up about basically feeding your 2 year old a bowl of sugar. How could that possibly be a good idea? I'm angry for you!

wobbs's picture
Last seen: 4 years 5 months ago
Joined: 05/27/10
Posts: 1502

What a horrible weekend! I'm so sorry you had to go through that! :bigarmhug:

Melba1's picture
Last seen: 3 years 4 months ago
Joined: 10/12/09
Posts: 435

I am sorry you are dealing with this.