What would you do?

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kittenchan's picture
Joined: 08/12/07
Posts: 1118
What would you do?

Hey ladies Smile

I was wondering what you'd do if your parents hated the name that you and DH were thinking of giving your new LO. I told my mom some of my top choices this weekend, and she hates our number 1 choice. I'm really frustrated, because it's one of the ones that DH and I actually agreed on. We have this issue that we like traditional names, but we don't want it to be popular since we both have very popular names for the years we were born. So the question really is.. would you try to find an alternate name? Or would you just go ahead with it, mother be darned? I'll also add that I've run the name by a number of people and my own mother (who is usually so accepting of everything) is the ONLY person who has had a negative reaction.

wobbs's picture
Joined: 05/27/10
Posts: 1502

If you truly love the name, I would still go with it.

Danifo's picture
Joined: 09/07/10
Posts: 1377

I don't say our name ideas because people are way more opinionated when the name isn't attached to someone. I would still use the name or at least keep it in consideration while you think about other options.

I have a friend who was named and brought home from the hospital. Her grandma freaked at the name and her dad went back to the hospital and changed the name :eek:

Minx_Kristi's picture
Joined: 01/02/09
Posts: 1261

Go with it, it's your LO at the end of the day. She will learn to love the name as much as she loves the baby.

xx

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

This is one reason we keep the baby name a secret. People LOVE to give their input on baby names! Go with what YOU WANT to name your baby afterall, it's YOUR child not THEIRS! Smile

irishgirl's picture
Joined: 04/10/07
Posts: 1043

Yeah, that's why I don't like to tell in the "maybe" stages. I've learned if you tell people "we're thinking.." instead of "we're definitely using.." you get different reactions too. I might ask her WHY she disliked the name so much, but I'd probably use it anyway if I love love loved it and it was the one we agreed on.

kittenchan's picture
Joined: 08/12/07
Posts: 1118

"irishgirl" wrote:

Yeah, that's why I don't like to tell in the "maybe" stages. I've learned if you tell people "we're thinking.." instead of "we're definitely using.." you get different reactions too. I might ask her WHY she disliked the name so much, but I'd probably use it anyway if I love love loved it and it was the one we agreed on.

I did ask her! She had two reasons. Her first was one of the potential nicknames. I figure kids get the nicknames you give them. I wouldn't give him that one Blum 3 The other reason was that he'd be asked to spell it for the rest of his life (it's not a weird spelling, just an uncommon name). I told her "Tell me one name that DOESN'T have to be spelled." She said Lisa - and I told her that I DO have to spell it. Some people think it has a Z or that it's Alisa or Elisa. Heh.

irishgirl's picture
Joined: 04/10/07
Posts: 1043

"kittenchan" wrote:

I did ask her! She had two reasons. Her first was one of the potential nicknames. I figure kids get the nicknames you give them. I wouldn't give him that one Blum 3 The other reason was that he'd be asked to spell it for the rest of his life (it's not a weird spelling, just an uncommon name). I told her "Tell me one name that DOESN'T have to be spelled." She said Lisa - and I told her that I DO have to spell it. Some people think it has a Z or that it's Alisa or Elisa. Heh.

Well those are dumb reasons. Wink I definitely wouldn't think anything of it given those reasons. Smile
ETA: My grandparents STILL can't pronounce Rowynn. My other grandmother spelled her name a different' way on all of her Christmas presents. Smile The first grandmother that can't pronounce Rowynn calls me randomly and asks "How are you saying the baby name" because she keeps saying "Egg-N". I finally told her IT'S LIKE ETHAN BUT WITH A G.

Melba1's picture
Joined: 10/12/09
Posts: 435

I say go for whatever you want. Your parents have had their opportunity to name their children . No one is going to tell you they hate the name when it is attached to your sweet baby.

jac81's picture
Joined: 11/22/10
Posts: 1131

I would still go with what you like. I recently found out that my MIL doesn't like the name we picked. I just happened to overhear the conversation at DS bday party last weekend so I don't think it was meant for me to hear. It would not had changed my mind one bit even if she had told me before.

Dylemma's picture
Joined: 09/04/09
Posts: 449

I would go with your gut instinct if you love it then that is all that matters. I never tell anyone the name IRL until the baby is born. People always have opinions before the birth. But when you introduce baby as .... then they never seem to have a opinion lol
I recently told a couple of friends we had discarded Heath one was devastated as she loves it and others were like oh phew lol

turtnjay's picture
Joined: 02/24/09
Posts: 2095

Lurker...

Go with the name you love, do not worry about the opinions of others. I agree with all pp's on this one.

All of my sons have different names and I can tell you they all get mispronounces or misspelled even though it seems pretty clear to me how you would say them. My name, Christina, even gets misspelled and people just randomly give me nicknames or add or leave off letters...Chrissy, Christine, chis, christy...no name is safe from that one.

blondiess4u's picture
Joined: 11/08/07
Posts: 1450

I might have the same problem. We told DF's dad about our LO's name that we are pretty much set on and he started coming up with all these other names that he likes better. I tend to be swayed by other people but not on my baby's name. So I decided to tell him I'd think about it and started telling everyone we wern't set on it so that when the baby comes and it's on the birth certificate there is nothing they can really say.

I would say if you really like it then stick with it. I think once she gets used to it she will like it. It's your child and you have to live with it. It's such an amazing decision and I think you should own it. Good luck!

Joined: 04/05/06
Posts: 870

I say go with it. Her reasons don't seem too valid. I've had to spell "Lindsey" all my life and I have the "normal" spelling of my name. ...people also get the spelling of "Abby" wrong all the time. Also, what is it with mothers and worrying about nicknames? I remember my mom not liking some of my sister's name choices because of nicknames.

Joined: 01/08/09
Posts: 1023

As some of the other ladies mentioned, that is exactly why we don't release the name until we can announce... This is the name. That being said, what's done is done.

I personally would use the name regardless if both my DH & myself loved it. Neither set of parents care for DS's name. They haven't said anything but I can just tell. However, it doesn't bother me in the least. They think "Asher" is strange.

"kittenchan" wrote:

I did ask her! She had two reasons. Her first was one of the potential nicknames. I figure kids get the nicknames you give them. I wouldn't give him that one Blum 3 The other reason was that he'd be asked to spell it for the rest of his life (it's not a weird spelling, just an uncommon name). I told her "Tell me one name that DOESN'T have to be spelled." She said Lisa - and I told her that I DO have to spell it. Some people think it has a Z or that it's Alisa or Elisa. Heh.

About this... you're a teacher. So, I would think you would know better than most about nicknames & spelling issues. If you feel the name is ok, then I would trust your judgement & not second guess it.

When you find your name... you will feel comfortable with it. If that name is the ONE, then go with it! & don't look back! Biggrin

Kate83's picture
Joined: 01/04/11
Posts: 587

no one likes the name Aisley, but we are using it anyway! I say go for it, you dont need to please anyone else Smile

Joined: 02/20/11
Posts: 865

My family hated the name Mélodie. Weused it anyways and they got used to it! We might use the name Olivia this time (I'm starting yo think itstoo popular) and she told me she hates it too. I happen to hate MY name so I do t take much stock in her opinion, but it still makes me uncomfortable.

Joined: 10/24/10
Posts: 470

Ditto.

If you love it, use it!

K_Lo's picture
Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 1201

No one said it out right because we had already set the name in stone before telling anyone but my family wasn't crazy about Caleb. My dad said "hmm we'll have to think of a cool nickname for him" and my MIL claimed to have never heard it before (I'll give her the benefit of the doubt since she is not from here, but since it's in the bible... I'm skeptical!). To be honest I never ask anyone what they think of our name choice... We just tell them what it is lol. They always get used to it once they know LO.

I think your only option would be to tell us what the name is and we'll help :). Just kidding! If you like the name use it. Everyone will grow to like it!

Joined: 07/15/07
Posts: 630

Ehh, her reasons are bad. I say use the name you love. Biggrin Maybe if it had been like an ex-husband or ex-boyfriend or ex-someone who she'd rather not think about every time she said his name, then maybe... MAYBE.... I would rethink it. But it's not so...

With DD, I called my mom and my dad before I even really started thinking about names and asked if there were any that were off limits due to them having a negative connection to someone in their past lives. They couldn't think of any, so I got to pick whatever name I wanted.

kittenchan's picture
Joined: 08/12/07
Posts: 1118

Thanks for your opinions, everyone! DH and I still haven't made a final decision on a name, but I'll tell you when we do (and maybe NOT my family until a little closer Wink ).

OregonJewels's picture
Joined: 12/29/10
Posts: 344

I honestly probably wouldnt do it. A good family friend, like a second Mother to me hated our top pick and I wasnt going to do it but she finally gave her ok saying that she would just use a nickname for him. My Mother and I dont even get along but I wouldnt feel right if she really hated the name. But I also know how difficult it is to agree on a name. That is a hard spot to be in!

Joined: 11/07/06
Posts: 707

I'm of the opinion that it's your and DH's baby name it what you want Smile