Have you told your employer?

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nwmommy's picture
Last seen: 4 years 3 weeks ago
Joined: 01/06/10
Posts: 321
Have you told your employer?

If you've told your employer how has their reaction been? With my DD I told my employer right away throughout my pregnancy they made it super stressful, always hearing how if don't pass this or this happens its my job. I was constantly worried I was going to get fired to the point where towards the end I was looking into what kind of assistance I could get if I got fired before baby got here. My manager made it hard to schedule dr's appts, we have peak days where we are super busy monday, thurs and friday so I tried to make appts on tue and wed but one time they only had thurs appt open. I was literally in the dr room waiting my phone rang and it was a text from my manager wanting it know when I would be back and I cannot make appt for peak days because it hurts customers to much blah blah blah. I was only there an hour at the time. I couldn't help it. I left crying.

I work in a very small center, there 8 people there. So when I got pregnant this time I told them right away also, my managers had been asking me if i was pregnant and I had told them for many many months that when it happens it happens we were preventing me from getting pregnant again. Ok so a few things have come up since then (bad judgement calls on my part I thought I was doing the right thing but it back fired) so now my job is in limbo again. My manger told me they don't know if I will have a job by the end of april and they are waiting for the issues that happened to show up on their reports and go from there. I even got written up for something that both my asst manager and I worked on but my asst manager didn't get written up for it. They said that because I was the 2nd person I should have caught the mistake before I let it go through. So needless to say i'm stressed out again freaking out i'm not going to have a job. I literally have to tell myself to calm down because i don't want to m/c or something to happen. I've started looking at other jobs and even looked at going back to school. I just don't know what to do right now. I feel like every time i'm pregnant my job is threatened and I'm in constant stress.

This time for dr appt I even have to schedule them months ahead of time. Right now they are working on the May schedule so I already have the April and May and June scheduled. They said that I need to make them ahead of time so that they don't have to make adjustments and they can just schedule me to work on that Saturday so that I can have a 1/2 day on the day of my dr appt. IDK if i'm just over reacting or its the hormones but I hate it. Who's going to hire someone that is 3 mnths pregnant? Even from my DD being constantly told you could loss your job or your going to get fired or if we fail this or miss that your gone its just tiring.

The only reason I stay at the job anyway is because of the awesome benefits they offer but at some point maybe the benefits don't justify everything I go through?

***Oh and I know this is turning into a novel but what sucks even more is i'm not a bad employee or don't do my job. We are split into markets so there are a few states in my market we are ranked by certain criteria and i'm the #1 in my position in my market. I have taken my area from being way behind to having all my people in the top 5 and above where they need to be. My managers have told me how great i've been how much i've grown as a leader the past 2 years and how impressed they've been with everything i've done to make improvements.

CamelNoodle's picture
Last seen: 1 year 4 months ago
Joined: 07/28/04
Posts: 908

This totally sucks. They can't use it against you that you are pregnant, that's against the law.

I would look for a new job, you don't have to tell anyone you are pregnant, and it's illegal for them to ask.


**Tiffany**'s picture
Last seen: 2 years 7 months ago
Joined: 11/21/03
Posts: 1230

Agree w/ above said! Don't let them stress you out, you won't m/c, but the stress isn't worth feeling awful bc of it.

lemonlemon's picture
Last seen: 2 years 11 months ago
Joined: 12/30/07
Posts: 1904

aww! So sorry your having to deal with that

I havent told my employer....Which is kind of awkward bcuz I work @ a tanning salon. And we dont allow preg ppl to tan... so... I feel I need to tell her soon....Yet theres so much chaos at work right now bcuz we only have 6 employees- and one is about to go on leave bcuz her daughter is having a baby, and another is sick, so ive been working every shift for them.. and scoring huge brownie points too, so my boss is LOVING me right now... i dont want to ruin it by saying Oh by the way Im preg...And, i kind of want to tan a little bit more... i tan like 1x a week in a cool bed, (temperature) and scared to lose all my sun protection for this summer...(I burn SOOO easily if i dont tan, so I had the worst burn of my life the summer i was preg with DS) and so....im also trying to get my schedule changed, so the girl at work (i've told one person) told me to wait until everythings back to normal...and by then i'll be in 2nd trimester almost hehe.. its gettin hard to suck my gut in..but then the longer i wait i feel like the more mad she will be... but then again i havent even told my family.. PS my boss has no kids and never wanted kids, so shes not the type to get "excited"...hehe

ambie719's picture
Last seen: 1 year 1 month ago
Joined: 10/03/07
Posts: 811

I'm so sorry your bosses are being huge d!cks, that sucks! :bigarmhug: Next time they try to pull that intimidation crap I'd turn it right around on them and ask to make an appt with someone in HR to discuss the discrimination against you due to your pregnancy. And make it sound like you'd sue for wrongful termination (even if you never would) if they fired you.

Last seen: 2 years 12 months ago
Joined: 12/01/05
Posts: 1000

I agree. It is illegal for them to fire you for being pg. If they are trying to build a case against you based on a couple of mistakes, they are going to have problems, especially since you are one of their top performers. I would keep as much documentation as you can of all of this, and if it comes down to it, call a lawyer.

regdahl's picture
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 05/05/07
Posts: 777

Yeah, WOW! I have to say I too am very sorry your bosses act so ridiculous about you being pregnant. That is just wrong! You should not have to feel nervous or ashamed to be pregnant! What is wrong with people?

I have told my employer but he's my BIL so it's definitley a different situation. However, when I was pg before I was working somewhere else and they were very, very cool about it and I had JUST started...well actually I interviewed one day, found out I was pg the next. They called the following week to offer me the job so I told them then and they were so great about it!

Gah - just makes me so angry for you ladies that your bosses are such a$$es.

Gabsma03's picture
Last seen: 3 years 7 months ago
Joined: 07/23/08
Posts: 178

Wow sorry for what you are dealing with !!!!
I have told my head boss(he is good friends with dH) he is super excited, but we really don't work together. My direct boss doesn't know yet I will tell her right after our 16 week scan once we start telling people. I think a couple of people are suspecting it as its getting harder to hide . I only have to work 6 more times until than so I should be good! In my work place things spread like wild fire once I tell one person all 110 people will know within a matter of a day . ( and I am totally not ready for that).