insensitive people

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nwmommy's picture
Joined: 01/06/10
Posts: 321
insensitive people

Ok I need to take a second and get this out. I've totally been ranting to DH the past week and its just not helping i think I just need to talk to the ladies Biggrin

I work for a bank, there's a total of 8 of us that work there so we are a small center. Anyway I'm a supervisor and one of my tellers just doesn't realize how insensitive she is and its driving me crazy. I want to just snap at her but I can't cause i'm her supervisor I suppose I could talk to her about how crazy she sounds but really truly I don't think she gets it. She finds nothing wrong with what she says.

This has been on going for at least a week but if I told you the whole story you'd be reading a novel so i'm just going to Highlight the key comments she's made.

- A male co-worker (with 2 kids and a gf of 7 years) and I were talking about excersising and I said that my DH doesn't want me to do zumba until I talk to my doctor again at my 8 wk checkup. Misty (the girl i'm talking about) says " well he shouldn't have any say its your body and the male doesn't count." She preceded to go on with how he shouldn't have any say in the name, what I eat or what I do and that the women do most of the work. And then she say's that the guys always leave anyway so I should just do what I want. I was so mad!

- yesterday consisted of she doesn't understand why women sign up for labor and when she has kids she better be in a coma.

-she happens to have a friend they induced yesterday and she tells me that her friend better not have an ugly baby cause she won't know what to say when she see's it. she tells me her friend was induced at 8am and at 12p she asks me how long this should take cause she doesn't want to wait all day to go up and see the kid.

-The kicker for me is this: 2 days ago she gets a call at work when she comes back she is throwing a fit (like a 2 yr old) saying omg I can't believe this, this is horrible I'm so mad. I ask her what is wrong she tells me that her SIL called to tell her they had an ultrasound and found out their baby is a boy. She is so upset they are having a boy cause she hates boys and now what will SHE do. I was shocked especially cause i'm really close with all my co-workers and she knows that DH and I are hoping for a boy. I told her that if she reacts this way if we have a boy i'm going to be upset. She informs me very rudely actually that if I have a boy she's going to say the same things and feel very sorry for me cause that sucks I would have a boy.

I can't even explain how much she was going on and on about hating baby boys and how ugly newborns are and how she doesn't understand women in labor. Even after she heard me talking about how sad I am we have to have a c-section and how I so much want to labor and birth my baby. This girl is 30 years old, 5 years older than me you'd think she'd have some sense in her head. And she even said that someday she wants kids badly...um I don't think she should be having kids with that attitude! I'm not sure I can go another 8 months listening to her, she's only been working there for 5 mnths to all my other co-workers (who i've worked with for 3 yrs and are like my family) just look at her like do you even know what your saying, do you even realize she's pregnant? How can people not realize that they are rude! Any comments come your way yet or with your previous kids?

Ok I do feel a lil better now...and if you read this whole thing your a saint Smile

Joined: 03/01/09
Posts: 655

I really can't think of anything else to say about this person, but "ignorant" and "immature". Oh, and "self centered". I know it's hard, but just try to let her go. She seems beyond help.

ambie719's picture
Joined: 10/03/07
Posts: 811

:bigarmhug: Unfortunately I really don't think there is much you can do, if only people could be fired for being jerks. Smile You'll just have to bite your tongue and avoid conversations with her, maybe after everyone she works with keep walking away from her mid-conversation, she might get the hint that she's obnoxious.

Side question - why are you not able to even attempt a VBAC?

nwmommy's picture
Joined: 01/06/10
Posts: 321

"ambie719" wrote:

Side question - why are you not able to even attempt a VBAC?

Both hospitals here in town have banned VBAC's many years ago. At my first appt I was talking with my nurse who said my doctor used to do them often but then the hospitals banned them, which is crazy cause my doctor's office is literally attached to the hospital. The closest place that will do VBAC's is 2 hrs away in Omaha. DH is not ok with a home birth, because there was problems with my DD heart rate dropping and it scares him.

annierose's picture
Joined: 03/27/06
Posts: 333

I would try my best to just be entertained by her crazy ignorance. Wow. You can always vent here! I'm sorry you have to hear all that while you're pregnant. It would be hard to not yell at her I'm sure.

stercry's picture
Joined: 08/15/06
Posts: 450

Oh wow, when I hear about co-workers like that I'm very happy I get to stay home with the kids. I'm sorry you have to deal with her, and I really don't like it when people throw around man hate :evil:

That really sucks about the repeat c-section :bigarmhug:

KatherineD's picture
Joined: 10/03/06
Posts: 217

What a whack-a-doodle! I would ignore her ignorance and secretly hope she gets fired, lol!

**Tiffany**'s picture
Joined: 11/21/03
Posts: 1230

Eek she sounds awful to work with! Very immature!! I dont think they allow Vbacs here either maybe not anywhere is Iowa I think I heard for malpractice insurance reasons maybe? I know many woman who have been upset about it.

As for rude comments no one knows I am pg yet except dh and my mom and of course my drs office. However I always get tons of insenstive comments. Like "dont you know what causes this?" or "one of you should get fixed" and the ever popular "youre crazy to have so many kids".

annierose's picture
Joined: 03/27/06
Posts: 333

According to the ICAN website, VBACs are allowed in a number of Iowa hospitals, but whether they actually do them might be another story. St. Lukes in Sioux City has a "de facto ban", as in they aren't banned, but there's no doctor willing to do them there. I know that UIHC does them, but that's the wrong side of the state for you. That's where I delivered both of my first two kids and did IVF. It's an awesome hospital.

Anyway, sorry for derailing it a bit. If you lived closer (I'm more in central Iowa) I'd have my dog poop on her front steps for you. Biggrin

Gabsma03's picture
Joined: 07/23/08
Posts: 178

wow what a character she is she sounds pretty immature. Try not to let her get to you. Sounds like she needs to be put in her place(where are u from again ) lol jk. I am also a c-sec Momma both of my other children are as well as this baby . I get tired of all the people who always have to "add " their 2 cents on c-sections ....Its not like when I had my dd I said oh dr please let me have a c-sec ,but people will sure act like that was the case sometimes ( ok that was my rant hahahaha)

**Tiffany**'s picture
Joined: 11/21/03
Posts: 1230

I didn't know that UIHC did them I will have to pass that along. It sucks that that is too far for you though Chaise. I do like UIHC I go there for my 18 wk anatomy u/s they are super nice!

gabeminamom's picture
Joined: 01/09/11
Posts: 272

Wow, what a freakin nut case. I can't believe you have to deal with peeps like that. Being the supervisor, when the sunject gets brought up, I would say, " Let's pay attention to our work and actually "work" and talk about non related work issues off the clock." Maybe that would help?

Joined: 12/01/05
Posts: 1000

I agree with Tiffany. If you can't tell her how rude her comments are, you can at least ask her to not discuss these things on the clock.

Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1316

:lurk:
Wow! Chaise, that girl is crazy! I don't blame you for being upset with her. I would totally tell her how it is! LOL But then again I rarely have a filter when it comes to people like that.

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