More babies or No More Babies?

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nwmommy's picture
Joined: 01/06/10
Posts: 321
More babies or No More Babies?

Are you done after this baby (or these babies for the twin mommies out there)? Undecided? If it happens it happens?

I am pretty sure we are done after this baby. Financially we can't afford a 3rd especially if we want to put the girls in dance/gymnastics/swimming/softball or whatever else they want to do. We both really want both the girls to have opportunities to do extra-curricular activities but if we have 3 kids I don't think that would be possible. Plus if we have 3 we would have to buy a new vehicle and probably a bigger house (we only have a 3 bedroom right now).

The other thing I have to think about is that he and I aren't legally married. I consider him my partner we bought a house together and plan on getting married some day. But i've been divorced before so part of my brain is forcing myself to think that I need to make this decision on my own. If I decide i'm done having kids its got to be for me not for us because if god forbid something happen in the future I have to be ok with the decision that I won't have kids with anyone else and am I ok with that. I'm only 26.

I think I am because I want my girls to have opportunities I didn't. As much as i'd love to have a boy I don't want to have a 3rd just because to take the chance on getting a boy and then end up having a girl if that makes sense.
I think on Monday at my next appointment i'm going to talk to my dr about having my tubes tied during the c-section. I hate birth control I forget to take it and i've had an IUD and it didn't agree with my body.

WhiteWolf68's picture
Joined: 02/06/09
Posts: 505

I'm so done, besides I'm much older so age is a huge factor. I'm lucky to be pregnant now since I'm 44. So yeah, done, totally done. Smile

Kier's picture
Joined: 03/12/12
Posts: 1973

I think we are done. I say think, because we said we were after the last 2. DD (#3) was a HUGE surprise... DS2 was 9 months old, and still nursing when I got prego (At that point, we thought we were done, but surprise surprise lol). DH is talking about getting a Vas. after wee dude is born. He had scheduled one after DD, but at that point I was still nursing (DD was 6 months old or so) and although I knew I didn't want any more right then, I wasn't sure that I wouldn't want the option in the future. Because of that, and the fact that he had to go on mandatory overtime and couldn't miss work, he canceled it. Then, when DD was just about a year, DH decided that he was open to a 4th. At that point, I was ready to be done lol. But, we decided to wait till DD's 2nd birthday to talk about it again. Well, someone had other plans Wink This is our 4th, so its not like we are the average family of 2.5 kids, or whatever it is. But, I also cant say for sure that we are done, because until one of us gets "fixed", there is always the possibility.......

Yes, we could use birth control and/or condoms... but babies happen even on those... DS1 is proof of that Wink

ambie719's picture
Joined: 10/03/07
Posts: 811

Done unless we have a BFing oops before DH can get his V done.

Gabsma03's picture
Joined: 07/23/08
Posts: 178

I was planning on being the next Mrs Duggar I would like atleast 17-18 more !!!!!!! However after this twin pregnancy I decided no more babies Smile

regdahl's picture
Joined: 05/05/07
Posts: 777

This will be our last one. DH will be getting the big V before the end of the year. We want to make sure all goes well with this one before he does it but the plan is this is it and we're both happy with that decision.

Joined: 03/01/09
Posts: 655

Finances, sanity, and just having the time to try to be the mom/person I want to be. I work full time and commute over 2 hours a day which deeply affects my time and energy.

-x-Amber-x-'s picture
Joined: 10/08/06
Posts: 642

I want to say done, but I know how much DH wants to have a boy! I do know that if we have another that it wont be for a LONG time!

Blessedwith4's picture
Joined: 08/03/06
Posts: 177

We are definitely finished. I am trying to get dh to get a V before this baby arrives but Im not sure if we will be able to find the time. I was not supposed to be able to get pregnant again after going through chemo, but here I am! So this is a huge surprise and I really cannot handle anymore! Smile

Joined: 06/24/12
Posts: 252

I never thought I would have a second child, so I was soooo suprised when I found out I was pregnant! Nowww, that I am pregnant, and this pregnancy hasn't gone as expected(I've been hospitalized since 23wk3d & will continue to be until 32wks) I really am considering trying for another baby and *hopefully* getting a much different pregnancy, though thats doubtful. I would like to know what it is like to have two kids close in age, since both DD will be exactly ten years apart. DH Is saying NO WAY, he is done. This pregnancy has really tramuatized him, and he wants to be able to give both our girls everything we possibly can, and we both know that with more than two(especially with one just coming up on teen years) that isn't possible. We own a three bedroom, and I have ALWAYS said, I will never have more kids than bedrooms in my home. So, I am leaning to it being a no, and if DH has his way, he is getting snipped.

annierose's picture
Joined: 03/27/06
Posts: 333

I'm pretty sure we're done after this one. Three is enough for me, especially when I'll have three under the age of 5 for a bit there. My DH will getting a vasectomy after this LO is born and things have settled down a little bit.

We are in a weird situation though. My DH is definitely getting snipped, but there's still potential for us to have another kid after this. We did IVF with our first (before getting the male factor infertility fixed) and we have leftover embryos that are frozen. I don't know what the heck we're going to do with them. It bothers me not to give them a chance at life, but I don't want more kids and don't want to give them away to strangers either. We're just keeping them frozen and we'll decide how we're feeling in a couple of years. It'll probably take a bit of counseling to figure out what we feel would be best with our ethical dilemma.