Name Debate Question!

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lemonlemon's picture
Joined: 12/30/07
Posts: 1904
Name Debate Question!

If your hubby says you can pick the name - could you pick one even if he doesn't like it?!

Im kinda stumped because he said a few times "you can just pick the name this time" and mentioned how he didnt like Brodys name but he got used to it and couldn't picture him any different now (when we chose Brody I thought he loved it, apparently he said OK just to shut me up... so he says)

Anyways- he HATES pretty much all of my names, and I HATE his.. so I feel like if we compromise- it'll be a name neither of us HATES yet neither LOVES...

I LOVE Paisley, yet Kevin Hates it.... He says he'd call her Brad (Brad Paisley)... He's the only one in RL that hates the name, except my mom dosent like it which oddly enough makes me like it more.. hahah....

So I keep searching for others, but the ones I think are OK- he thinks are OK- like Mara, Kenzie, a few others... I dont hate the names or anything but they're just not "the one" .. so I feel like if I choose one he kinda likes- then in the end neither of us "really like" it.. then it seems pointless to name her that!!

At the same time- even though he says"you can pick" can I really pick a name he says he hates? Would he just get used to it? I'd feel really bad if he didnt like her name...

I still plan on waiting until she's born to see her but I'd like to have a few picked out, or know if I should just get over my top 4 names- which he "hates" all of them! ugh!!

PS. I think the reason he says "you pick" is because deep down I want more kids, and he ONLY wants these two, so basically to him this is the last kid.. one day he changed his mind and said he should pick- and I said "OK I'll pick the next!!!"... that shut him up! hahaha :):)

CamelNoodle's picture
Joined: 07/28/04
Posts: 908

:lurk:

I couldn't in good faith name a child with a name my husband hated. If he was indifferent, that's another story. ROFL

I think you have enough time that you might be able to find a name you both like. Is it that your DH is one of those people that need to meet the baby first? I know that pregnancy is a time when many dads don't feel it's real, until they see the baby. Or maybe he's just not that into naming babies. I love to do it! (Though I admit, with my 4th boy, it got kind of hard, he was unnamed after we left the hospital...)

What about the name Aisley? It's Paisley without the P, my friend just named her daughter that and it's very cute. I think it's irish/galic, though I could be wrong.

lemonlemon's picture
Joined: 12/30/07
Posts: 1904

He's definately NOT the one who wants to wait until the hospital- he wants to "get it over with now" like its driving him nuts or something?! I said names are free, dont have to be ordered or shipped, so thats something that we can wait on and not rush!! He just doesnt like to think about it I guess.

He just likes more traditional names.. His top choices are Kendra, Marissa, Brenna, and I dont like any of them...

I've read like the top 1000 names for every year the last 5 years, every name book i swear- and so it seems like we've seen EVERY name, it's just a matter of finding the one we both like I guess!!

Aisley...him thats different! I have a cousin named Ainsley and I kind of liked that one! Im thinknig as time goes by maybe some names might start to grow on him- or me.. haha

nwmommy's picture
Joined: 01/06/10
Posts: 321

I don't think I could pick a name knowing that he Hated it.
Maybe one day just say the name you like in a sentence "Paisley's really kicking today" and see if reacts different than just throwing out a name mixed in with 100 different names.

With my DH when we named DD if I read off to many names then he would nix all of them because they started jumbling together I think lol.

Hopefully you guys can compromise or find a common ground with a name he loves. Do you have a middle name your using for sure? If not maybe you can do Paisley Marissa ....or some name he likes for a middle.

CamelNoodle's picture
Joined: 07/28/04
Posts: 908

"lemonlemon" wrote:

He just likes more traditional names.. His top choices are Kendra, Marissa, Brenna, and I dont like any of them...

To me these are modern names. I'd call traditional ones names like Mary, Katherine, Elizabeth, Sarah.

Is there a relative you want to honor?

ambie719's picture
Joined: 10/03/07
Posts: 811

Yeah I don't consider his choices "traditional", just normal and trendy lol where Paisley to me is a bit more of a "hippie" name (no offense).

DH told me I could have the name I wanted for DS2 even though he hated it, but I was super reluctant to agree for the same reasons as you, and I didn't even actually agree to use it until after he was a few hours old. I did have other boys names that I loved but that were a little more "out there" that I wouldn't have used even if he agreed simply because I knew that they were not his style at all. He may not have liked the name Isaac, but I knew it would grow on him a lot easier than if I picked Thatcher lol.
So I think if you are going to pick something he doesn't like, try not to pick something that he'll absolutely hate, and be embarrassed to tell people that that is his daughters name.

kat83's picture
Joined: 04/27/07
Posts: 631

I couldnt choose a name knowing he hated it no. Is there a compromise, can you name her paisley for middle name and agree on a first name? Or something like paisley for her first and let hm pick middle?I mean, he doesnt hate Paisley, he just associates it wrong. With ours, I said his name out lout and dh was like yeah thats ok, then after we found out for sure it was a boy, i asked him again, so is ----still ok? he goes eh...so we went thru the name book and the ones he picked i couldnt stand really and I was already referring to him as what i thought we had agreed upon, so i said well we're sticking with it and he said it was fine, he never hated it, but i let him chose the middle name, even after i already had it chosen because then he asked me if he could. its all about compromise....good luck..

kat83's picture
Joined: 04/27/07
Posts: 631

sorry-dang just noticed im on the wrong board, but i think i didnt notice cuz we shared a board not to long ago....good luck!

regdahl's picture
Joined: 05/05/07
Posts: 777

I wouldn't be able to go with a name I knew DH really didn't like. We just always are very fair with each other and I would never want him to go ahead with something as big as naming our child full well knowing I hated it. That's just me/us and how we have agreed to be with each other.

Right now we each have a name that is our favorite. Neither of us 'hate' the other name, we just each like ours better. He told me if I really wanted my name we could go with it but I"m just torn. With DS we both just loved his name and I'm hoping one will come across like that for this LO.

Naming babies is difficult for sure! Good luck!!

lemonlemon's picture
Joined: 12/30/07
Posts: 1904

Thanks girls!!
I really feel like i CANT name her something he hates. I was kinda thinking if I said it enough maybe it'd grow on him- since he really doesnt like names he cant put a face to I've noticed- for example if he's never heard/met somebody with the name he doesnt like it- but I'll say names I think are "out -there" like.... Daphne- which was DS's suggestion (off of scooby doo) and he actually liked it- which I dont realyl like the name but thought it was interesting he'd like it- well turns out he knew a girl once who was good looking named Daphne- haha.. MEN...
So, I nixed RUBY and a few others that I knew he just HATED.. Paisley he says he doesnt HATE he just thinks its "really ugly and would call her brad" so therefore I've kinda decided he hates it...
The middle name I really want to be after my Gma so I really dont want to let him pick- because if he picks he'd name the middle name "jo" after his dad- and his dad is.. well... not a great role-model and I dont feel deserves a name after him (hes a drunk who always borrows money..on and on..)
So I kind of want "June" as a middle name- My gmas name doesnt really fit- Tommie- but she was born in June so was kinda thinking that might be cute?

Paisley June just sounds so cute to me..

You guys are right about traditional- I guess I meant "normal" or in MY oppinion "Plain" haha..

However, today my dad came over and he asked what we'd chosen for a name- I told him that I was just gonna wait until she's born to decide since we dont really agree.. If we had a name we both LOVE I think that we'd pick it ahead... but since we don't I dont see a reason to rush it... Anyways, he was really RUDE about it and was like "BUT PAISLEY IS A BEAUTIFUL NAME, EVERYONE I'VE ASKED SAYS SO" and I told him 100x Kevin doesnt like it... so to be honest, Now Paisley seems kind of ruined to me because my dad was so rude about it.. it's not his kid!!

Now I see why people DONT SHARE names until the babys born.

So I think I'll keep my NEW ideas a secret from the family haha.

ambie719's picture
Joined: 10/03/07
Posts: 811

Families suck lol! I never give a crap what our families think of our names, its hard enough to find a name that just the two of us agree on, never mind finding a name that 10 people like lol. Easier said than done though, I know.