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  1. #1
    Contributor
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    Hi all,

    A friend told me to sign up to this...I've never joined a forum during my pregnancy and I just had my baby Oct 17th. He is wonderful, but it was a horribly traumatic experience and I'm having a hard time feeling upbeat about being a mother. As much as I absolutely love my son, I feel a slight disconnect with him...maybe I'm tired or not feeling myself or hormones...who knows..just thought i would put it out there.

    I am from the US but live in the UK now and find that hard to deal with as well...

    Hope to hear from people even if it's just to say hi.

  2. #2
    Community Host Lizbet22's Avatar
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    Lurking as I am the friend
    Glad you joined sweets.
    The ladies here are amazing.. They saw me through all the bad times.
    I know they will you too.
    Plus you know where I am.
    Xxxxx
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  3. #3
    Site Moderator girlisrad's Avatar
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    Hi and Welcome! First of all, Liz sent you to the right place <3 This is an amazing and supportive community! We are but few, these days.. but no less amazing And ANY friend of Liz is a friend of mine

    I am sorry that your birthing experience was terrible There are many of us here who have experienced this, and KNOW that first and foremost you are not alone! While horrible it DOES happen and the after effects can be as terrifying, if not more than the original trauma! Post Partum blues are very normal, and if you are struggling with feelings of detachment it is probably a good time to seek the help of your Doc! You could be suffering from depression and/or PTSD brought on by the birth. BUT KNOW THIS< none of that makes you a bad Mom <3 Nor is it "wrong." Sometimes, as much as we want them to be wonderful, things don't go the way they should.

    I hope some of this helped, feel free to keep chatting or message me if you need more help! This is an amazing resource you have here! and of course you will be in my thoughts and prayers!
    cactuswren likes this.
    I'm back, baby.

  4. #4
    Mega Poster Anngie60's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome to the board!

    I'm so sorry you had a traumatic experience with your birth
    I too had the same with Ds1. You will get there eventually I promise, and these boards are full of wonderfully supportive ladies xxx








    Angela

  5. #5
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    Hi Hun,

    Sorry about your 1st birth. I had a csection with my first, was sick for 3 months until my gallbladder came out, and was so miserable that I felt much the same as you did. It took a while to really bond with my son as I felt I couldn't handle being a mother. It does get better as I'm sure you know. My second son was born on the 8th and is a totally different expierance. I had a VBAC, am breastfeeding, and feel as rested and in control. I've bonded instantly and am so in love with both boys that I'm already considering the next baby! You will get through it, it will get better, and you'll love that baby more than life itself. Your next birth (if you want another ) will hopefully be much better and I hope you fight for the right to deliver like YOU want.
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  6. #6
    Community Host AnnaRO's Avatar
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    Hi! I just wanted to offer my support and let you know that it is not at all unusual for a traumatic birth experience to affect the early connections moms expect (and are often told) to have when baby is born. Sometimes the bonding takes a little time, especially if you have birth trauma to reconcile. I had far less than ideal birth with my first and I did not feel that instant 'head over heels' in love feeling with her. I thought there must be something wrong with me, but we completely fell in love as time passed and I somewhat came to terms with the birth. Now that I've had 2 awful births I can say that I love my children, but I still have a lot of resentment and bitterness about their births.

    Give yourself time, and give yourself a break. Lean on friends and don't be too hard on yourself. And if you ever need to vent, complain, cheer, brag or whatever, this is the place to do it!!

    ~Anna

  7. #7
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    Hi! And Welcome to October Octopi! So sorry you hear you had such a rough delivery experience. The other ladies, who have been there, have said it perfectly. Give yourself some time to adjust to motherhood and heal from your birth experience. Hoping we can offer some support as your little guy grows.
    DS 2/24/07, DD1 3/17/09, DD2 9/15/11, DD3 10/02/13

  8. #8
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
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    Sorry you had such a horrible experience. I had a 3 day induction when by son was born at 36 weeks. He was early as I had gallstones and needed surgery. It was traumatic and we had a NICU stay as well.

    What people never seem to tell expectant moms is that being a new mom is hard. Things don't necessarily come easy. I had been a nanny for years and dealt with many newborns both in my family and professionally. It is so different when it the baby is yours. I can tell you that the first 3 months of my son' life is a blur. I don't remember much as I was healing from the birth and emergency surgery. It does get easier with time.

    Hugs and welcome to pregnancy.org
    Margaret (44)
    Sean (38 )
    Robbie (8 )
    Bailey (April 2, 2011)


    "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." Caroline Myss

  9. #9
    Posting Addict baby4s&a's Avatar
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    Big HELLO coming your way!!

    I'm sorry to hear that you didn't have the nicest birth experience. Hopefully sharing it (if and when you want to) will help ease what you are feeling.

    Welcome to the October Octopi though. Look forward to hearing more from you
    ~Steph~
    Harry - (Dec 05) Miller - (Feb 09)
    Missed M/C (Dec 07)
    Ectopic (Mar 12)
    Baby #3 due Oct 1st!!

  10. #10
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    Thank you ladies for all of your wonderful supportive comments...I am not too savvy with this forum stuff...so any guidance along the way would be great.

    I hope you are all doing well and hope to get to know you all better soon. xx

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