*Update* Crazy but here it is....I hope this baby comes before

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momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634
*Update* Crazy but here it is....I hope this baby comes before

***update*** I have a meeting with the mw Saturday morning. DH and I "talked" about it, I put talk in quotes because seriously having a conversation with my DH is sometimes ridiculous, God love him he's just not good at serious conversations. I told him I wanted to meet with the mw and that I don't think I want to go to the hospital and have the baby. He kept eating and said nothing really. I asked him what he thought. He said and I quote "well, I'm d@mned if I do, d@amned if I don't. since this is the last baby (insert stern look right at me ;)) you're going to do what you want to do no matter what I think anyway. besides, you're the one that has to do it" So, basically he gave me his blessing ROFL Okay, seriously though, he's okay with it, or he isn't but either way he's not going to say no. Like I've said before, my DH rarely tells me no on anything and if he felt strongly enough he would. I told him I want to continue seeing my dr which he not only agreed with but stipulated as a condition. Soooooo, I'm going to her house Saturday morning to have a chat with her and iron out the details. Looks like as long as everything goes according to plan (which it won't because that's just how I roll) we could possibly be staying home to have this LO!!!!!

and, in other important news, my tile guy is now running 2 days behind which pushes my plumbers back at least 2 days BUT I was able to talk my plumber into sending his uncle over to hook up the toilet tomorrow (if the flooring guy finishes today, which HE BETTER!!!) so I may not have a full bathroom but I'll have a sh!tter on the main level again :woohoo:

***end update***

we make it to the hospital. I've been having this, well, feeling I guess, it's not a premonition or anything, probably more like a deep seated hope that I don't have to have this baby in the hospital. I want to labor at home and birth this baby at home more than I can even describe to you but my options are not only limited they are pretty well non-existent. I do still love my OB but I just don't want to have to think about anything that may or may not be done in the hospital. I don't want to go in wearing war paint ready for a battle, not that I had to really battle it out last time but there were still things done during Clara's birth that I just didn't think to or have the energy to stop. I don't want to sleep on a thin air up mattress for 48 hours, I don't want wires on my belly (made me itch like crazy last time), I don't want to sneak drinks of water from the bathroom sink, I don't want to have to tell nurses NO, I don't want a cervical check, I don't want to wear their hospital gown, I want to walk, really walk, not just 20 paces down this boring hall, 20 paces back, I want to eat, I want to lay on my bed or the couch or the freaking kitchen floor if it suits me. I just want to be at home. During the last few months of my pregnancies I ALWAYS become a hermit, a total and complete homebody. I swear it's something that feels very natural and it almost feels like readying myself to give birth, focus within, on myself, my new baby and my family.

I'm still a couple months away and I know it would FREAK my DH out beyond belief if he knew I had this wish but it just doesn't feel right, going to the hospital, not this time, it's just not sitting right with me. I can't figure out if it really is a gut feeling (those things I always harp on everyone else to listen to) or just me being stubborn and wishful. Either way it's what I feel and I can't shake it *sigh* How am I supposed to deal with this?

p.s.

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

Hi!!!! :wavehello: I miss you tons!

I completely and totally, 100% understand exactly where you are coming from and have the same thoughts about #3. If I'm not in a different town by then where there is a birth center that accepts VBA2C's, there is a very good chance that I will just refuse to go to the hospital and 'accidentally' have the baby at home. I'm with you on this one!

I can't wait to see the bathroom and even more, I can't wait for you to come back to posting like an addict again!

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

I can't wait to have some time to be on here, I feel like I've missed out on soooo much!!!! Clara is my terror child though, that girl keeps me hopping more so than either of the other ones ever did. I can't sit down for a second or she just destroys whatever she can get her hands on, which is made even harder with all the remodeling stuff in the house and everything displaced because of it right now. I have the flooring people coming this week, the vanity install scheduled AAAANNNNDDDD I thought I was going to have to wait for the guy that's doing the tile on the bathtub wall but he has an opening this week and might be able to do it then. My step dad just finished up mudding and sanding today so tonight we start painting. I have to wait on my plumbers until after next weekend which sucks (I'm currently working on bribing my plumber though) cause everything will be ready for them by friday afternoon but they don't think they can make it then. I talked to his wife at the basketball tournament this weekend and she's going to push him into getting a crew in Friday Wink

If there was a birthing center anywhere close to me I'd be on that route in a second!!!

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

Since I typed the OP I've been chatting via PM on fb with the midwife, the only one we have around here. She's a DEM and has a 5 month old. Maybe you remember but I called her at the beginning of this pregnancy the day after she had her baby and I just couldn't bring myself to ask her to attend my birth knowing she has a baby to care for and she had planned to take 2 years off work. Anyway, I was just PMing her to get a feel for if I had any options and if I was as crazy as I feel for not wanting to go to the hospital. she offered to attend the birth as long as I know that her baby comes with, which I obviously do realize. I NEED to talk to DH and quickly because I think I'm changing my plan!!!!! :cloud9: I am heading to a ballgame now (last one of the weekend, we did a stretch of 12 games in 3 days, ugh!), hopefully I can talk to him tonight!!

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

OOOOOOH...I really hope that will work out for you! I think it's as simple as the fact that you know what you need and the hospital isn't going to provide it, no "gut feeling" required! My fingers are so crossed that this homebirth plan can happen...

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Would the MW be attending a home birth or a hospital birth? I know you'll get the birth you want no matter where you are but it'll be some much nicer not to have to go in with your guns blazing.

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

I know the feeling....my birth in the car, while not the ideal location, was wonderful in that I didn't have anyone trying to shove monitors up my vagina (they type they told me I was going to have to have), disallowing me to get in the shower, causing me to have to sneak food/drink, hooking me up to an unnecessary IV, etc..
So with this one, I shudder to imagine being in the hospital and having to be subjected to all that. Home birth just seems to much more....simple. A peaceful.

Good luck with your midwife! KUP!

redneckgirl82884's picture
Joined: 12/17/08
Posts: 955

Hey Christa! I hope DH is on board with your plan, it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this. Good Luck!!

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

You mean most people don't dream of having this peaceful home birth?! Cause I've already had one dream about me being in labor and it being seemingly slow and then suddenly I tell DH that I'm not going anywhere and we have a wonderful home birth. Pretty sure my husband would completely freak out if I shared that. lol. But an unassisted home birth really isn't in my plans of what I truly want when awake. But a home birth would be nice. (Only option for me is unassisted.) So I REALLY don't think you're crazy at all. I hope you're able to work this out with this midwife and with your DH!!!

Miss you Christa!!! Can't wait to see pics of the renos when done!!!

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

"TiggersMommy" wrote:

Would the MW be attending a home birth or a hospital birth? I know you'll get the birth you want no matter where you are but it'll be some much nicer not to have to go in with your guns blazing.

she would be attending at home and secretly. it's unfortunate but true that IL is not a birth friendly state where you get options. she's the only hbmw for hours around, the rest have moved to friendlier states

"alwayssmile" wrote:

You mean most people don't dream of having this peaceful home birth?! Cause I've already had one dream about me being in labor and it being seemingly slow and then suddenly I tell DH that I'm not going anywhere and we have a wonderful home birth. Pretty sure my husband would completely freak out if I shared that. lol. But an unassisted home birth really isn't in my plans of what I truly want when awake. But a home birth would be nice. (Only option for me is unassisted.) So I REALLY don't think you're crazy at all. I hope you're able to work this out with this midwife and with your DH!!!

Miss you Christa!!! Can't wait to see pics of the renos when done!!!

That is what keeps happening to me. I keep having this same dream about accidentally not making it to the hospital, in my dream though I end up with a mw present at the birth at home somehow and it all seems just perfect. I have thought about unassisted and it's not for us, DH would have a conniption, it would just be too much for him to handle and I don't think I would be comfortable with it.

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

I don't think you're crazy in the least. I had similar thoughts with Archer & was not opposed to the car (we traveled with a kit even) or at least locking myself in the hospital bathroom & not letting anyone in. I hope you get to be at home with the MW! Eeeek, exciting!!!

stacymh's picture
Joined: 03/16/10
Posts: 1807

Hey Christa!!! I don't think you are crazy either. I hope you are able to sit with DH and work out a plan that is exactly what you want.

Def want to see pics of the reno. I know you are so ready for all of that to be over with.

Vstarr's picture
Joined: 04/08/08
Posts: 895

Oh wow Christa! Normally I would be the first one to say that sounds crazy, but I actually think it sounds wonderful and I hope it works out for you!

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

I think the best situation all around would be to get DH on board for a home birth with the MW, however illegal it might be. Unassisted is totally an option I think you'd be perfectly capable pulling off. Though it would be pretty darn near impossible if DH weren't on board. I can't imagine trying to hide the fact that I'm in labor from my DH long enough to pull off an "oops". I think the stress of that might be worse than the stress of being in a less than ideal place. The thing I would love most about a home birth is that there would be no one around to bother me and tell me what my body *should* be doing. And that includes DH and whatever EMTs he might call if he noticed I had no plan of moving. It's such a PITA that DHs' preferences even factors into the equation but sadly they apparently matter too. Even if you got DH on board, you'd need someone to keep an eye on the other three without calling an ambulance. So, really you'd need two people on board for an unassisted birth. With a MW, you have the ability to soothe DH's fears and convince someone else to hang out with the wee littles. Sure, you could have DD1 watch the younger two but do you think she's mature enough to be able to calm them down if they (or she) becomes overwhelmed? My DH was stuck watching his younger siblings while his mother (who hadn't prepared him in the least) gave birth. I'm 1000000% sure you'll do a better job preparing your kids but its something to consider. I'm mostly thinking out loud here to help you reason through it. Whatever you decide you're going to rock it Christa-style.

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

Doesn't sound bad at all, though I hope the midwife pans out just to help your hubby feel more at ease, / be an extra pair of hands. I keep hoping for muy next birth it goes to quick for my Mum to get here to watch Ronin's and i have no choice but to be at home, but that would likely mean Ronin's delivering the babty as well bevause hubby might not be around either

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

updated in OP!!!

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

"ange84" wrote:

Doesn't sound bad at all, though I hope the midwife pans out just to help your hubby feel more at ease, / be an extra pair of hands. I keep hoping for muy next birth it goes to quick for my Mum to get here to watch Ronin's and i have no choice but to be at home, but that would likely mean Ronin's delivering the babty as well bevause hubby might not be around either

Ronin could totally handle delivering a baby! I have no doubts Smile

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

:bounce8:

Wooohooo on all fronts!

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

:sunny:

So happy for you!!!

stacymh's picture
Joined: 03/16/10
Posts: 1807

Great news!!!! And having your sh!tter is just icing on the cake! Biggrin

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Great update!!!

Hope you get your ****ter. ROFL

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

Glad things are working out for you! I want to re-do my bathroom, but we only have one toilet in the whole house....

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

"tink9702" wrote:

Glad things are working out for you! I want to re-do my bathroom, but we only have one toilet in the whole house....

*shaking head violently* DON'T DO IT!!!!!! haha, ask me in a month and I'll be so happy to have my new bathroom but right now, right in the thick of it not recommended Smile

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

Yay! Homebirth!