*UPDATE* Met with the mw today

26 posts / 0 new
Last post
momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634
*UPDATE* Met with the mw today

7/12/12 UPDATE **** I got a message from my midwife a few days ago, she will not be able to attend the birth for us. Her FIL has brain cancer and she is his end of life caregiver and he's going a lot quicker than they had anticipated. She called around to other mw's in the state to see if she could get someone else but no one will drive this far. Looks like our plans got shot in the arse right as they were really getting off the ground! I've been brooding and pouting for the last few days, trying to make the best of it and trying to keep it in perspective but failing miserably on all accounts. I cried a lot harder about it and for a lot longer than I really think was probably appropriate but it's been very upsetting, a lot more so than I would've imagined. Oh well...moving on, I guess****

a 3 hour meeting. I don't think that in the last 2 pregnancies I've spent as much time with my OB altogether. I really like her and I really like her approach. She's hands off. She said she prefers having clients go into birth with the mindset of gong unassisted but with supervision. That's exactly what I want, someone who's there that knows more than me but not someone that is going to do anything unless needed. She prefers DH's to catch babies because babies want their parents not people they don't know. Everything was exactly what I was hoping to hear. She does have a 5 month old that will be at the birth with her unless somehow I manage to go into labor on a weekend when her DH is off work all weekend LOL. I'm okay with that because I honestly don't want her to do much anyway. I am going to keep seeing my OB partially because DH has put that as a stipulation but also because I need to know he will back me up if I have to transfer to the hospital for any reason. I am going to order a birth pool that was suggested to me. I'm really excited and I feel very relieved with this decision! I don't plan to tell anyone IRL my decision. DH said he'd do whatever I want. I think he still secretly hopes I'll decide to go with the hospital but I know he'll be okay when/if we stay home.

Baby is breech currently which I think is a new position for him/her because when she showed me where the head and behind were it was different than I know it was a few days before. I need to pay more attention to how I'm sitting when I do get a chance to sit because I definitely want to encourage optimal positioning. We also spent a lot of time talking about my risk for tearing because of the episiotomy from Clara. I need start being really diligent about doing perennial massage to try to make that scar tissue more pliable.

I think that's about all of it Smile It was a good meeting and I am super excited to be taking this birth into my own hands and taking full responsibility for it, the good and/or the bad!

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

That is so exciting that everything is on track for you to have a homebirth. Eeeeek!!!! She sounds like a perfect fit for you, and I love that! I'm glad your not stressed about her 5 month old being there. That will all work itself out. Sounds like everything is totally falling into place. Yay!

redneckgirl82884's picture
Joined: 12/17/08
Posts: 955

Sounds like an exciting meeting. I'm so glad it went just like you wanted. I'm also so happy that DH is on board with this. Very awesome.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

YAY!!!! Sounds fantastic to me! I'm so excited for you and can't wait. :mrgreen:

ETA: I just clicked the link and saw the "birth pool." Ha ha. Totally looks the same as many I've seen (minus the kid cartoon pictures :lol:), just way cheaper.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Yiipppee!! She sounds great. How does DH feel about catching the baby? Will you have anyone else there to help watch the kiddos?

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

I was just talking to DH about all of this. He's the sort of guy that you have to put the idea in his head, let him have some time to warm up to it and little by little inch into the conversation spread out for several days. We've just broken the tip of the conversation right now so I'm not going to spring the catching baby thing on him for a bit yet Smile He can adapt to almost anything...just not quickly LOL.

As for the kids, they will not be here. I'll keep the plan of having someone get the kids like I would if going to the hospital. I just don't think I could relax if they were here and I know I would concentrate on whether the person watching them was doing it right or if they needed their mommy. Plus, Clara is super clingy to daddy right now and I don't want to share him with her when I'm in labor LOL. I don't plan to tell anyone IRL about staying home so it might be a tad bit tricky but I guess we'll just let them assume we're heading up to the hospital Wink

stacymh's picture
Joined: 03/16/10
Posts: 1807

That is great that you like the MW, and she sees things the way you want them. Let people assume what they will. You know what kind of birth you want, and it doesn't involve them. Hopefully DH will be up to catch whenever you tell him about it.

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

Yay for homebirth! I love the birth pool! Smile

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

Love that your plans are falling into place! Smile

Joined: 06/22/10
Posts: 5602

so exciting!!!! everything is falling into place yay!!

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

Sounds like the meeting went great, I'm so excited everything is falling into place for you!

RonanTheBarbarian's picture
Joined: 05/10/10
Posts: 1084

sounds awesome! I'm glad DH is on board as possible at this point Smile

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

Update in OP

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

Sorry Christa Sad (((Hugs)))
That is a real let down Sad

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Oh no Christa! :grouphug:

redneckgirl82884's picture
Joined: 12/17/08
Posts: 955

:grouphug: Sorry Christa.

stacymh's picture
Joined: 03/16/10
Posts: 1807

Christa, I'm so sorry.

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Oh, Christa, what a disappointment. I'm so sorry!

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

:bigarmhug: That's awful on all fronts. I'm sorry to hear about her FIL and they will soon lose him and I'm sorry about what that means for your birth plan.

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

So sorry!

Joined: 06/22/10
Posts: 5602

sorry to hear that Sad

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

What are you wanting to do now? Go back to the hospital you went to before? UAHB? Play it by ear?
I've been thinking about you. I know this has been upsetting since it seemed like you were going to get what you really wanted!

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

:bigarmhug: I'm sorry to hear the midwife won't be able to do it, what a disappointment.

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

"alwayssmile" wrote:

What are you wanting to do now? Go back to the hospital you went to before? UAHB? Play it by ear?
I've been thinking about you. I know this has been upsetting since it seemed like you were going to get what you really wanted!

I'm not really sure yet. I'm still seeing my OB which I was going to continue doing anyway. The mw has offered to help us prepare for an UA birth if we'd like. I think that would FREAK DH out, I really wouldn't mind it though. We're close enough (within just a few blocks) to the hospital in town (not MY hospital) that I don't like but would be fine for an emergency. I am reading up on UA right now just in case but it's really not ideal because DH wouldn't be comfortable with it. I really just don't know at this point.

Anna- I know, I feel so bad for her and her family going through this. I'm trying to keep it all in perspective, yes, I'm upset but dang, this isn't comparable to what they are going through right now, you know?! I feel so torn between being selfishly upset but not dwelling on it because obviously things could be way worse.

I know it's not completely understandable to everyone, I have a VBA2C supportive dr and a nice hospital (beautiful birthing suites) so what more do I want right. I just have this nagging feeling that will NOT go away, maybe it's intuition, maybe it's just that I know this is our last baby and this is my last shot to "do it right" or just me trying to control it all in my own environment, I don't know but the feeling just won't go away. I see this baby being born at home, every single time I picture the birth, every time I dream about it, it's always at home so I'm at the very least going to be prepared for an UA and then I guess at least know my hospital is there and my OB is still there if I decide to go there. :dontknow:

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Sounds like you're planning on playing it by ear to me. Wink You'll know what's best for you when the time comes. ((hugs))
How far is your preferred hospital?

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

"alwayssmile" wrote:

Sounds like you're planning on playing it by ear to me. Wink You'll know what's best for you when the time comes. ((hugs))
How far is your preferred hospital?

about 25-30 minutes away, so not too bad