Bow Chicka Wow Wow

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TiggersMommy's picture
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Bow Chicka Wow Wow

Didn't wanna jack HorseMomma's thread... Let's talk about sex ladies. Who's having it? Who's not? We're not Sad Not because I don't want to. I do! I finally do! My libido came back about a month ago. But it STILL HURTS! WTF?!?! Plus, DH sleeps in Teagan's room because his back can't handle our mattress and Teagan sleeps with me. We won't all fit on the full mattress in her room. So, aside from the pain factor, we have no time and it's not exactly convenient sleeping in separate rooms. It's kinda driving me batty. I went out and bought some new undies. Perhaps that'll help. Wink Also, I'm going in for my annual next week and I plan to discuss this lingering pain thoroughly.

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ahhh we are but i am not interested!!! at all...i might talk to my dr because dh thinks it's because of him and it's not:( once we get into it i am fine, but it's an effort to get there. i do have to say though that it is a lot better now that i have had a kid lol. no pain here! i was lucky enough to never have any..

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None here, I have no desire to and it hurts. It used to hurt a little bit pre baby, but now it is crazy painful. Also with hubbys hours, I am ready to sleep by the time we go and pick him up so no time either. My GP avoids mention of all female issues like the plague so when I take Ronin for his nxt weight check I am going to find out when the next women's health clinic is hppening in town and if I am eligable to go to them as I am way overdue for a pap smear as well, evenn though that was clearly documented in my hospital discharge notes the the GP.

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It's gotta be a hormonal thing, the pain. DH is convinced it's because I tore but it doesn't hurt where I tore. If it were purely a tearing thing, then why would it be so painful for you, Wendy? When I asked my MW about it she suggested it was the scar tissue. There's clearly more to this than scar tissue. I'm really hoping things go back to the way they were once my hormones re-regulate. AF is still gone so I'm still riding the PP hormone wave.

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I think it is hormonal too, I don't have PP AF either. It's a pain because I know hubby wants it, me I couldn't care less, it just seems like a lot of work to me right now.

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RANT- You know what really pi$$es me off? How little research (jeez, even just plain old cheap discussion) has been put into female sexual health. There's a paltry amount of actual scientific research put into pregnancy and birth (and even that isn't followed) and that's only because a man comes out of the woman 50% of the time. Mention that a female is a sexual being and people run for the hills. Why don't we know what causes PP pain? It sickens me. - END RANT

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We are. Not as much as when we were first dating, and not all the time, but we are. My NIL (had her baby Jul. '10) asked me the other day and I told her it was infrequent and she said that she and her SO (DH's nephew) were DTD daily. . . but they're both only 21.

For me it doesn't hurt anymore, but it's not the same as it was pre-baby. I don't know how to explain that, but it's different now. . .

Erin, the new undies should help. Especially if they are small :sillywink: Of course, just walking around naked couldn't hurt . . . just sayin'.

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DH and I just had this talk last night. We are both ready to get our sex life back, but we are just so darn exhausted at the end of the day! Plus I have 3 monkeys that climb all over me all day so I am pretty overstimulated physically.

It's something my DH needs to do though, so we need to start making more of an effort for sure! Wink

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"AnnaRO" wrote:

Erin, the new undies should help. Especially if they are small :sillywink: Of course, just walking around naked couldn't hurt . . . just sayin'.

Only the finest floss would do Wink I even bought a bunch of other clothing and when DH questioned how much I spent I dropped the hint that there was something in the bag "for him." He shut up. Oh, and we're practically nudists. I'm starting to wonder when it's no longer appropriate to be naked all the time in front of Teagan. Whatever. Putting clothes on when I don't have to is soooo much work.

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"misskaci" wrote:

Plus I have 3 monkeys that climb all over me all day so I am pretty overstimulated physically.

Yes! This is exactly how I feel most days. You stated it so well.

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Its there, just not as frequent as before. It usually takes me/him at least 2 years to get back to a normal dtd routine..

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Erm... You mean you can have sex when you don't want to make babies? Wink

Than would be a "there isn't much going on round here" too. It's totally me. DH doesn't understand even though he says he does. When I go to bed it's to sleep.

I Kaci put it perfectly, I'm VERY over physically stimulated in the day and I just want to be left alone for a bit when the kids go to bed.

I wonder if SAHD's have the same issues us women do?

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Our sex life isn't going too badly right now. I don't have the pains anymore thank God. But my biggest problem is keeping myself awake after she goes to bed to want it. As soon as I put Madison down, I'm ready to fall asleep myself. Sometimes I rather have that extra sleep then the sex.

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I am also one of the no libido girls. I think it's the hormones from breastfeeding. When we do it though, I do enjoy it and have no pain. But like many of you, once Simon is in bed Im just too tired and want to just sit and veg, then go to bed.

I should make more of an effort though. I'm sure DH would appreciate it, although he hasnt been pressuring me or anything.

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Sex isn't the same as it was before pregnancy, but it's a heck of a lot better right now than it was during pregnancy. Sex was uncomfortable and not pleasurable for me starting at about 25 weeks. We have sex now, but not often. With my husband's hours, even if we didn't have a baby sex wouldn't be happening most of the time. Then you add in a cosleeping baby and you can cross off the other days that aren't swamped by his hours. On the rare occasion that DS is in his crib asleep and we have the time, we just don't have the energy. Being naked doesn't help since we both sleep nude and walk around the back of the house that way. Lol I've been wondering when I should stop this due to DS. Pretty much the only sex to be had is when one of us has had enough and jumps the other. ROFL

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No sex drive here! AND IT HURTS!!!!!!!! OUCH!!:0)
Love the title of this thread! Made me LOL!

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I am "in the mood" probably once a month. And then its like hitting the lottery for all the other elements to fall into line: DH also in the mood, dd asleep and not waking up just when things get interesting, not hurting too bad to go through with it. So far this has all worked out once since dd was born, lol! And yes I am having pain too, which is not fun. I have always had a bit of discomfort though so was expecting that.

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OMG! Thank you!! All of you!!! I was beginning to wonder if something was wrong with me!!! We are in the 'kinda' boat... I have noooooo libido still & I'm rarely in the mood; just like others have said, by the time the girls are in bed, I'm e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d & soooooo physically over stimulated that sex is the last thing on my mind. I had a section, but I totally have down there pain too when we have sex! I don't understand why at all Sad And when we do try it, I'm really not interested, and it takes a lot longer for me to start to enjoy it. I feel bad cause I know he wants to do it all the time; and I just can't Sad I am debating on asking the Dr about it when we go in for Sophie's shots this Wed...

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I'm in the same boat with all of you too. We do it but not nearly enough. And the pain isn't like it was the 1st 3-4months but there is a lot of discomfort for sure. Once things get going its all good but actually getting in the mood after work and kids all day is rough.

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"misskaci" wrote:

DH and I just had this talk last night. We are both ready to get our sex life back, but we are just so darn exhausted at the end of the day! Plus I have 3 monkeys that climb all over me all day so I am pretty overstimulated physically.

It's something my DH needs to do though, so we need to start making more of an effort for sure! Wink

Yep. And add me to the no desire/pain group... but my DH and i just had a long talk about it. he used a sports analogy. :roll: Something about how even if a doubles partner in tennis is willing to play, if they have a broken foot they won't be useful, or something like that. :roll: His point was that it's not as fun when I'm so reluctant... Sigh... I have only had 5 hours uninterrupted sleep TWICE since the twins were born, I'm exhausted all the time - BUT he's a great dad and very helpful and I love him to pieces, so I'm really working on it. The hormones from nursing are awful. But two things have helped quite a bit with the pain - we use 'Preseed' which is a lube that doesn't hurt (I can't use KY or anything like that because it stings) and my DH does some very gentle perineal (sp? too tired to look it up) massage/stretching - kind of like what the doc/MW do while you're pushing to help stretch things out and hopefully avoid tearing. It really helps quite a bit with the pain, so those two things might be worth a shot for those of you who are hurting.

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3 weeks out of the month I could take it or leave it, sleep usually wins out. 1 week out of the month, leading up to ovulation, I'm right back to where I was before, nimpho is the word that comes to mind. I jumped DH 2x yesterday. But as soon as those hormones settle down after ovulation, I'm back to needing sleep more than sex. I make the effort and once I get into it, it's great, but I'm so freaking happy to finally have my ovulation nimpho week back! The pain is finally gone for me, totally and completely and that has made a world of difference. It's been gone about 2 months now, which corresponds to Clara starting food and nursing less, so I'd relate it to hormones too.

We've actually been playing with fire this week. I'm sick of the condoms so we're going sleeveless for a few days. I don't chart or temp so I'm just going off CM and that 14 days has always been my ovulation day, so hopefully we don't get a surprise. How many days before O date should we start using them again? I should look up the natural family planning stuff, but I just haven't taken the time yet.

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"momW" wrote:

We've actually been playing with fire this week. I'm sick of the condoms so we're going sleeveless for a few days. I don't chart or temp so I'm just going off CM and that 14 days has always been my ovulation day, so hopefully we don't get a surprise. How many days before O date should we start using them again? I should look up the natural family planning stuff, but I just haven't taken the time yet.

I hate condoms too! They hurt!
I would figure how semen survives in the uterus...then subtract from your O date:0)

I wish I had some libido!!! Have fun!

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"HorseMomma" wrote:

I hate condoms too! They hurt!
I would figure how semen survives in the uterus...then subtract from your O date:0)

I wish I had some libido!!! Have fun!

I hope it comes back for you too! It's really nice to have it back. I just wish I wasn't so exhausted all the time. I have found that it works a lot better for us if we don't wait until bedtime to DTD. We have been pretty opportunistic about it, nap times, a quickie while the LO's are playing, stuff like that. I am just so tired after the kids go to bed.

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"HorseMomma" wrote:

I would figure how semen survives in the uterus...then subtract from your O date:0)

I've always heard that semen survives up to 5 days. . .

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Yep! Ive heard that too, and I think it happened to me with Natalie.. According to the last time we actually dtd I should of been due around the 23rd but according to u/s I was due for almost another week. I think I ovulated after the dtd session and the sperm survived.. I totally believe it because they say girl sperms live longer.. lol.