Confused :/ *MC ment*

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KatieWantsABaby's picture
Joined: 06/19/07
Posts: 229
Confused :/ *MC ment*

Okay, so I wasn't super happy about that bfp... [this BFP]...

But now I'm definitely miscarrying and I'm even more confused. This still isn't a good time for another baby and We were actively trying to avoid, but it happened. I am not gonna lie and say I was happy or excited, but I've been down this road a few times and it's never easy. I kinda had a feeling that's where this was headed, but still. It hurts to lose something that's a part of you.

On the other hand I feel really guilty because I am secretly relieved not to be pregnant right now. It kind of feels like a huge weight is lifted from my shoulders and I feel awful for feeling that way about a baby, KWIM? Especially with all the trouble we had to have the two beautiful babies we have.

I'm so confused and I don't know what to think. I don't know whether to be happy it's over or sad it's over. And then there's the whole "are we really done anymore?" thing. *sigh*

Why couldn't it be easy?

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

:bigarmhug: Of course it's not easy. Even if you weren't happy about the BFP, as soon as you get it, you start to think about the future and how you will be adding another person to it. Regardless of your feelings about a surprise pregnancy, the loss has to be difficult. Especially with past losses.

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Is your DH going to get his big V rechecked? That may be an inappropriate question right now and if it is I apologize.

KatieWantsABaby's picture
Joined: 06/19/07
Posts: 229

Anna, don't feel bad about asking, I would too!
he had gone for his post-op, which came back fine. Which is why the whole thing was such a shock. As of right now, Dh seems really disappointed and really wants another (he's a very firm believer in "everything for a reason"), but I'm so confused right now that I don't know what I want to do.

He has an appointment later this week to find out why it failed and after that we'll be discussing what our options are.

It's really got me in a weird spot though. So torn between being sad and relieved. :dontknow: I really appreciate the hugs though.

KittyRN's picture
Joined: 02/03/09
Posts: 1260

I think how you are feeling is totally understandable. I dont have any advice or words of wisdom but just wanted to offer hugs, but DO NOT feel guilty for any of your feelings! Anyone in your situation would be feeling the same way I am sure.

HorseMomma's picture
Joined: 06/29/04
Posts: 858

((HUGS)) Sorry for your loss and everything...You are going through so much!

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

:bigarmhug: All your feelings are quite understandable. I am so sorry you are going through this.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483


Your feelings are completely normal.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043


It is completely appropriate and normal to feel the way you do. It may be confusing but feeling both sad and relieved is a perfectly natural response. A loss is a loss no matter the circumstances. Please KUP over the next few days if talking about it helps.

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

I would totally expect you to be feeling all those emotions. I'm so sorry you are going through all this.

rubber_da_glove's picture
Joined: 12/31/07
Posts: 1527

:bighug: Totally normal hun. Sorry your going through this

stacymh's picture
Joined: 03/16/10
Posts: 1807

:bigarmhug:Sorry you are dealing with this confusion. Like others have said, don't feel guilty about your feelings.

PeanutGirl's picture
Joined: 10/26/08
Posts: 345

:bigarmhug: So sorry to hear about your loss. It's normal to be feeling everything you are feeling. Let it happen.

Newlywed630's picture
Joined: 07/20/07
Posts: 770

Sad im so sorry for your loss. I know that this has gotta be hard.

Joined: 06/22/10
Posts: 5602

I would be feeling the same way :bighug:

butterflykissesx6's picture
Joined: 06/28/07
Posts: 509

:openarms: A loss is never sorry sweetie.