Okay, so I wasn't super happy about that bfp... [this BFP]...
But now I'm definitely miscarrying and I'm even more confused. This still isn't a good time for another baby and We were actively trying to avoid, but it happened. I am not gonna lie and say I was happy or excited, but I've been down this road a few times and it's never easy. I kinda had a feeling that's where this was headed, but still. It hurts to lose something that's a part of you.
On the other hand I feel really guilty because I am secretly relieved not to be pregnant right now. It kind of feels like a huge weight is lifted from my shoulders and I feel awful for feeling that way about a baby, KWIM? Especially with all the trouble we had to have the two beautiful babies we have.
I'm so confused and I don't know what to think. I don't know whether to be happy it's over or sad it's over. And then there's the whole "are we really done anymore?" thing. *sigh*
Why couldn't it be easy?