I know this can be a touchy subject but did anyone see this?
I didnt read the entire thing but yall know I let Natalie CIO. I dont think there is anything wrong with letting her cry when going to bed or in general. I think there are always limits with that also. I would never let Natalie cry for a long period of time but I dont find there to be anything wrong with 10,15, or even 20 minutes..
I read this yesterday. I'm not a CIO person, mainly because I can't stand to hear my kid cry and not try to do something to console her. But I also think this is more applicable to smaller babies (6mo and smaller). And I think there's a big difference between inconsolable crying and not meeting the basic needs of a baby (neglect). You all know that when Lyla was itty bitty she used to cry and cry and all I could do was hold her and cry with her because I'd done everything else. DH used to try to get me to just lay her in the crib and let her CIO, but at that age I wanted her to know I was there. I think some people take it too far. Even now, my max for CIO is 5 minutes, but even when Lyla throws her tantrum at bedtime it's over in about 2 minutes.
Doesn't change my opinion on the topic. I think the trouble with "cry it out" is in the name. People interpret it to be this "put baby in the crib and let her cry indefinitely" technique. There is an appropriate age for it, and there are appropriate parameters for it. Moms know their babies.
I've heard of that reasoning before and its the primary reason I AP. Still, there are nights that despite my best efforts (BFing, snuggling rocking, singing) she will scream bloody murder. The danger in the CIO method is that there are parents who think its the magical cure to all night time crying and who will just leave their kids to cry all night long. There's a reason why the sound of a crying baby drives us insane. How someone could ignore the hard wired need to make their baby stop crying for hours on end is beyond me.
I had a friend send me the actual article which I shared on FB. We don't do CIO here, just mommy sanity breaks during the bad times. DS always screams harder and goes berserk during those times. Can't imagine doing that on purpose with him!
I know every family is different, so there's no way I think that those that do a form of CIO are bad parents. They just parent differently.
We don't do it simply b/c I can't & b/c AP just fits better with my way of thinking. It feels wrong to me to let her cry when I could be comforting her. That said, there is a difference between CIO and fuss it out (which I have done occasionally when everything else has failed). I think there is also a big difference between CIO in a newborn and CIO in a 1+ year old.
We put chloe in her crib and she will fuss anywhere from 5 min-30 min. funny because the next day after a hard night she always seems more happy and loving. I've never put her in the crib for any other reason than to sleep though...
It feels wrong to me to let her cry when I could be comforting her. That said, there is a difference between CIO and fuss it out (which I have done occasionally when everything else has failed).
I agree with others that there is a big difference between cio and fuss it out. Plus I think this refers much more to a young baby, under 6 months. I've let Simon fuss for about 10 minutes or so when I know he's tired and refuses to let his eyes close. I would never EVER let him full out scream/cry even right now, and definitely not when he was younger than 6 months.
But as I said, there is a big difference between cio, fussing, and controlled crying.
Yes, 'fuss it out for a bit' seems to be a better descriptor to how I go about it.