Difficulties separating

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ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564
Difficulties separating

The last two mornings have ended in crazy tantrums, screaming and crying from Ronin when it comes time for me to leave at day care. It's not his usual self, he would have a bit of a whinge, but calm and be distracted easily but not the last two days, there is no distracting at all, even getting one if the cars today which are prized toys in his section didn't distract him, the second he noticed I was leaving he jumped out of that car screaming and crying running after me. He has photos on Friday and I am even considering dropping him off an hour early just so he has time to calm down and settle ( and get rid of the red eyes and tear stains on his face). Anyone have any suggestions how to get him back to his old self at drop off? He's been fully off lately in the chat I mentioned he may be teething but can't get in to see or maybe some development, he is repeating things like crazy and building concepts in his head and even counts to one sometimes ( just smiles cheekiliy when you ask him to say two so I think he can do it but refuses)

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

I don't have any suggestions, but I wanted to say that I hope it's related to a developmental stage and ends quickly. Is it possible that he doesn't like someone at the day care? Have any kids been mean to him or are there any new providers that he maybe doesn't like?

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

I guarantee its a phase. Have you been trying at all to get him to sleep in his own room a bit more? Teagan was upset when we left her at daycare during the time we were working on STTN. For the most part, Teagan is happy to be dropped off. She definitely has her days though. I've come to realize that the best way to solve the separation tamtrum is to just take off. Like ripping off a bandaid. Teagan's teachers say that she calms down in about 30 seconds after I leave. I know they're not just saying it to make me feel better because I'll often peak in through the window on my way out and she'll be happily playing. When other parents drop off their kids, I've noticed that the parents who stick around longer and the ones with the kids who throw tantrums. Its hard but I suggest bolting for the door.

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

I agree with Erin. It's a phase. And I also agree that you have to just go - dragging out the goodbyes will make it worse and harder on both of you. Maybe you can let him know you're leaving, so he doesn't just notice that you're going and freak out. Let him know it's time for you to go, give him a kiss, and then get out.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

I usually hand her off to one of her teachers and I tell her that I know she's upset but that she's going to have a great day and I'll see her in a few hours. Then I give her a smooch, wave goodbye with a chipper smile on my face, and bolt for the door before I start crying.

stacymh's picture
Joined: 03/16/10
Posts: 1807

I agree with the others, leave quickly. One thing I like about our daycare, and it may be that way everywhere, is that I always hand Evan off to a teacher. She holds them for a bit, longer if no other kids come in, then puts them down. I like that better than just plopping them down and leaving them, especially if he's a little upset that morning.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

I am also lucky enough to drop Teagan off most days (if I get out the door on time) just as all the kids are sitting down to morning snack. That usually gets her attention. Is there a way to change your drop off time just a little bit so that it corresponds with a daily activity?

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

It's a phase that they'll go in and out of for many years. I noticed some kids having the same phases when I worked school aged childcare. We were used to handling these situations and the parent hanging around usually just made the bad part last longer. Have a drop off routine and stick with it. If there is something more going on than just the typical phase we'd usually notice the changes throughout the day and talk to the parent at pick up.
((hugs))

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

I have always taken him to find his friends and get involved in something while I let a teacher know anything for the day. They are good and lately have been holding him. On Monday I checked with them kater and he hadn't stopped quickly. The only recent change in the room is they have been working on having the kids not constantly kiss each other to stop the spread of hand foot mouth.