The "Get in MY belly .. baby" Chat Thread (#29)

**BuckeyeK** · 10-03-2012, 10:32 PM

I might be changing my mind about finding out the gender. This is my last pregnancy, and I really want to savor it. And I feel like I've kind of been wishing it away. I think it we find out the gender, it would allow me to relax and just sort of enjoy the pregnancy, and give me some time to shop for a few gender-specific baby things while baby is still in the belly. And I won't be wishing the last few weeks away, anxiously waiting to find out boy/girl.

Yes, I am aware that I am being the crazy pregnant lady, and that I am way overthinking this. And I am also aware that I will probably change my mind 500 times between now and the ultrasound. And I probably won't know 100% what I'm going to do until they ask "do you want to know the gender?"

**momW** · 10-03-2012, 11:17 PM

Originally Posted by AnnaRO

So today was another rough day here. It seems to get progressively worse as the week goes on. I just get so stressed and frustrated and it's affecting my bond with Lyla. I feel like I spend more time frustrated with her than loving and nurturing her properly. This needs to change.

THIS, this is us too! As the week drags on I lose more and more of my patience with everyone but Grady and Clara take the brunt of it. I feel like I spend way too much time disciplining and not near enough time snuggling. I told DH I am going to hire a housekeeper (aka, my mom, she cleans houses). I can't keep up with everything and be a good enough mom. I'm a terrible housekeeper anyway but I'm worrying too much about the housework instead of spending it with my kiddos laying on the floor being silly with them, kwim!?

Originally Posted by BuckeyeK

Christa, sorry about the broken down car. Ugh. It's hard having DH gone. I think you're coping very well, but I can understand why you're tired of it. I would get sick of that pretty quickly. I need DH here to take some of the pressure off me.

I hate crabbing about his job because we are very lucky in this economy that he has such a wonderful paying job and it affords us a lot of luxuries but I miss him so much when he's gone

I need the help and I also just flat out miss my DH!

And yeah, you are completely within your rights to change your mind as many times as necessary on finding out the gender

**AnnaRO** · 10-03-2012, 11:27 PM

Originally Posted by momW

I miss him so much when he's gone

I need the help and I also just flat out miss my DH!

I think this is a HUGE part of my problem. DH lives in another town during the week and I've NEVER been a fan of long distance things. We just get custody on the weekends and that leaves me and me alone to deal with a 2 year old and a 6 month old all alone. I'm just not strong enough and I feel so disconnected from my DH. There's been pretty much no physical contact between us in a month and has been limited for much longer. And I mean, no hugs, no kisses, not even a pat on the back. I miss him so much. I think I'm right on the edge of a full-on mental break.

**alwayssmile** · 10-04-2012, 08:57 AM

Originally Posted by momW

Jackie-coconut oil saved my belly during Noah's pregnancy! I was scratching so bad that I had to keep getting blood out of the sheets at night cause I'd scratch so hard in my sleep. So, I didn't see, did you write anything on your friends status?

I did. Once a HBAC girl chimed in too the friend kinda bowed out. Both me and the HBAC points were mainly about the lack of true informed consent in the current system and how all these modern advances when used too much actually lead to a decline in infant and mother well being. I think the fact me and the HBAC girl had statistics kinda freaked the friend out. I don't think she realized that the maternal death rate has not improved in a very long time.
Having your husband gone so much with all those kids around has to suck big time!

Mine sleeps at home. That's about it this week. Gone before Aiden is up and home sometime after 8pm. Last night he got home at 8:15pm and put Aiden to bed, but then spent the next 90 minutes on the phone and online trying to finish up flight planning for today.

Originally Posted by BuckeyeK

Jackie, sorry about the pain

I remember feeling that way toward the end with Lainey, I carried her sooooo low, it felt like my pelvis was being pushed apart. I think this little one has the same preference for resting way down low.

I have noticed my hips and butt are huge from all the weight being soooo much lower than Aiden. Any of the maternity pants I wore with Aiden the whole time do not fit me anymore. Thankfully my BFF has wider hips than me and the maternity pants she sent me are working fine still. Pretty sure she thought I was nuts when I sent her a text thanking her for her hips last week. lol

Originally Posted by BuckeyeK

I might be changing my mind about finding out the gender. This is my last pregnancy, and I really want to savor it. And I feel like I've kind of been wishing it away. I think it we find out the gender, it would allow me to relax and just sort of enjoy the pregnancy, and give me some time to shop for a few gender-specific baby things while baby is still in the belly. And I won't be wishing the last few weeks away, anxiously waiting to find out boy/girl.

Yes, I am aware that I am being the crazy pregnant lady, and that I am way overthinking this. And I am also aware that I will probably change my mind 500 times between now and the ultrasound. And I probably won't know 100% what I'm going to do until they ask "do you want to know the gender?"

You're so gonna end up finding out.

Originally Posted by AnnaRO

day here. It seems to get progressively worse as the week goes on. I just get so stressed and frustrated and it's affecting my bond with Lyla. I feel like I spend more time frustrated with her than loving and nurturing her properly. This needs to change.

This is my house too. I'm feeling so friggin' done by today. My husband only saw Aiden asleep two days this week. My patience by Friday is gone. Poor kid wants me playing on the floor and I just can't do that! So then he hits and kicks because he's frustrated and god forbid if the kid actually talks to communicate. Today is yet another day where DH told me not to expect to see him till at least 8pm. He better have a shorter day tomorrow.

**redneckgirl82884** · 10-04-2012, 09:03 AM

Christa and Anna- I don't know how you two do it with DH being gone/busy, etc. You two are some VERY strong women!

**cactuswren** · 10-04-2012, 09:14 AM

Ugh...I really feel for all you ladies stuck alone so often. I was losing it and got really crabby with DH for coming home an hour later than expected yesterday because we were visiting my friend and her newborn and Addy was being a full handful and I was done with it. I know it's different when you just know you're in for the long haul (I had 10 solo days in May--my longest stretch) but it's exhausting when there's just no relief or backup. Especially when you are doing it all day long with no break at all! You are strong ladies just for hanging in there and making it happen even if it doesn't always look or feel too pretty.

So, this morning would have been a perfect success with the alarm if I hadn't pushed it to 5:15, but it was still good. I heard her wake up just before 5:00, and she was actually quiet until about 5:05 but then her patience ran out and she started whining/calling for me. I went in and said "you need to wait for the green light." And then I sat and supernannied her until it came on. She stayed in bed lying down and somewhat quietish that whole time, and when it came on she popped up all excited. So...still pretty good, for day 3 with an experimental time push.

Diapers are OFF! She pooped already (I saw her face and reminded her) and is now eating breakfast. She is theoretically excited about the whole thing, so....fingers crossed!

**momW** · 10-04-2012, 09:44 AM

Originally Posted by cactuswren

So, this morning would have been a perfect success with the alarm if I hadn't pushed it to 5:15, but it was still good. I heard her wake up just before 5:00, and she was actually quiet until about 5:05 but then her patience ran out and she started whining/calling for me. I went in and said "you need to wait for the green light." And then I sat and supernannied her until it came on. She stayed in bed lying down and somewhat quietish that whole time, and when it came on she popped up all excited. So...still pretty good, for day 3 with an experimental time push.

Diapers are OFF! She pooped already (I saw her face and reminded her) and is now eating breakfast. She is theoretically excited about the whole thing, so....fingers crossed!

I would most certainly call the alarm clock a success today!!! Nicely done!

I got good sleepers last night. Noah didn't get fidgety in bed until around 4am (which is normal) so I got a good 5 hours of sleep with a couple feedings in there. I'm always terrified of kids not sleeping well when DH is gone. I hope DH comes home today so he can get the lawn mowed, I've been trying to figure out how or if I could do it today with the kids around but I just can't figure out how. Maybe letting the older ones play on the play yard and put Noah in a play pen but I'm afraid I wouldn't hear him. One thing about living in town...when the neighbor mows it kind of forces you to mow. Didn't have that out in the country.

**stacymh** · 10-04-2012, 09:45 AM

Single mom time is no fun at all, but you ladies seem to be handling it brilliantly. Seriously, I don't know if I could do the job that you do so well. Vent away here when you need to. If you feel like you need more bonding/happy time, don't dwell on yesterday, it will be better tomorrow. Sending strong/happy/cuddly/talking vibes your way.
Leigh, it sounds like the clock is working. Congratulations. After hearing of your success, I feel like I need to get one too. Especially since we will be moving Evan to a big bed within the next month. Good luck with the bootcamp. Sounds like it is starting off good.
Kristi, go for it, you made some good points for finding out the gender. You're completely allowed to change your mind. I do constantly and I'm not even pg.
I've got to share a sweet story that I don't think I've shared yet. If I have, sorry. The other night I was in our spare bedroom cleaning it up for Evan's new space. I was sitting in the floor with my legs crossed. Evan came in and slammed the door shut (he still loves doing that) and sat down on my lap, facing me, with his arms around my waist and his head on my chest. He just sat there and didn't talk or move except to turn his head. I just rubbed on his head and back and loved on him. He sat there for about 25 minutes and then he started falling asleep. I then got up so we could have bath time. He is so much a daddy's boy still, so I was super excited that I got that time with just me and him. It was so sweet, melted my heart.