Grabbing

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Joined: 06/22/10
Posts: 5602
Grabbing

So Lucas is very grabby. I know it's the age and such, but what are you doing to try and help this? There are times where we can get around it like distracting him, or asking him to hand it to me. But there are times when I need to get something away from him right away and he won't give it to me and I have to pull it away from him or pry his hands off. In return when he takes something from us he usually comes up and just grabs it.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

I think a lot of it is due to them being toddlers and in the "it's all mine" stage. Aiden grabs, but if he knows he's not supposed to have it he gives me a certain look as he does it. DH and I try to set a good example. He also doesn't like to give stuff up that he shouldn't have. I ask for it and then tell him that I'm going to take whatever it is from him because it's not for Aiden (and then take it).

Although I'm pretty sure out of frustration today I got to the "just give it to me!!!" stage and yanked my phone away from him once or twice. Blum 3

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

yeah, that's a tough one! I tell Olivia - that's not yours, please give it back to Ethan or Daddy or Mommy. If she doesn't and it's not something dangerous I repeat myself a couple of times, tell her I'm sad she won't give it back and try to "trade" her for something else. if it's dangerous I tell her "not safe, dangerous" and take it away.

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

Lyla doesn't do this too much. I have had to pry my phone out of her hands a few times but nothing problematic. Kole on the other hand has recently figured out he can grab stuff and if it gets within his reach he's got an iron grip on it. It's making everything with him a huge challenge including diaper changes, putting him in his carseat, nursing, everything.

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Addy's not terrible about it but it does happen (more the not wanting to give something up than the grabbing something away from someone). I do what everyone else does...try to give her a couple of chances/choices, and then just say something firm and take it. Unless it's dangerous--then I just say "Oh, not for kids. That's sharp/hot/delicate/etc" and take it. It's definitely the age, though.

I really can't think of Addy actually snatching something more than once or twice, but I think what I would do is take it back from her and say "We don't grab. Can you ask nicely?" and make her try over again.

Vstarr's picture
Joined: 04/08/08
Posts: 895

My Lucas is in the grabby stage too! Unfortunately, it's much worse when they have siblings. This is what always causes the arguments between my 2. Lucas will grab whatever from Lily & then she gets mad and yells at him then he gets mad and cries when she grabs it back. I've tried to explain to her that he is still little and learning that it is not nice to grab things from other people, and this does seem to help her. But with him I just keep telling him we don't just take other people's things. I've also been telling him "no, that is Sissy's" when he goes to take something of hers. He has gotten better about it now and will sometimes point at something and say "Sissy's" instead of just taking it. I have also tried to teach him things that are dangerous to grab, like scissors or my hot coffee cup, and he usually will leave these things alone if I have explained to him why he can't have them. He especially understands the concept of "hot, don't touch!" Smile

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Grabbing can be two things and I treat them differently. Grabbing toys from other children or objects from myself or my husband is common and for that I use distraction and redirection. That's just part of the MINE phase they're going through. Grabbing objects she shouldn't touch (dangerous items) is addressed sharply and I just grab the item and explain very seriously why she can't touch it. This doesn't happen very often because we've toddler proofed very well and because Teagan is cautious for some reason (lucky me!) and will usually ask first before touching new things. If she gets a hold of something I don't want her playing with but that won't harm her I use distraction & redirection. I really really try not to just grab things from her for the reasons PPs have mentioned but sometimes mommy rage just takes over. I figure its OK because she needs to see that I'm human and so long as I'm a nice human 95% of the time we're good Wink

rubber_da_glove's picture
Joined: 12/31/07
Posts: 1527

Tobey isn't very grabby. DS1 was/is grabby. He is very bad at sharing. Well, with Tobey anyway, when he's at pre school he's really good. But Tobey is a breeze compared to DS1 at this age, 99% of the time he does as he's told because he hates being told off. The only thing Tobey does that buggs me is crying over stupid things, and once he starts he forgets how to stop :rolleyes:

Joined: 11/03/05
Posts: 748

"rubber_da_glove" wrote:

The only thing Tobey does that buggs me is crying over stupid things, and once he starts he forgets how to stop :rolleyes:

My 6yo is like that.

Juliet is grabby sometimes. When I need to get something from her fast, I pick her up and tilt her upside down. She finds it funny and forgets what is in her hand.

rubber_da_glove's picture
Joined: 12/31/07
Posts: 1527

"Louiseab" wrote:

My 6yo is like that.

don't say that!! I was hoping he'd grow out of it soon :eek: