How do you get that lonely? (Suicide ment.)

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AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033
How do you get that lonely? (Suicide ment.)

Today I'm reminded of that Blaine Larsen song, "How do you get that lonely?"

DH's best friend knows a woman that he's been dating on and off for several years now. They were very serious for a while and even lived together for a bit. She has twin sons, now 18 years old. About 2 hours ago, one of them commited suicide while at his grandparents house. What that family is going through is something I cannot even begin to imagine. We know both this woman and her sons and the boys have been very troubled teenagers, but my poor, small mind and heart just cannot comprehend this situation.

I think the song says it very well.

It was just another story printed on the second page
Underneath the Tiger's football score
It said he was only eighteen, a boy about my age
They found him face down on his bedroom floor

There'll be services on Friday at the Lawrence Funeral Home
Then out on Mooresville highway, they'll lay him 'neath a stone...

How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad
To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all
Is better than the life that you had
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go
How do you get that lonely... and nobody know

Did his girlfriend break up with him, did he buy or steal that gun?
Did he lose a fight with drugs or alcohol?
Did his Mom and Daddy forget to say I love you son?
Did no one see the writing on the wall?

I'm not blamin' anybody, we all do the best we can
I know hindsight's 20/20, but I still don't understand...

How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad
To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all
Is better than the life that you had
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go
How do you get that lonely... and nobody know

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

:cry: no idea. suicide baffles me. one of my closest friends and neighbors killed himself when we were teens. it's been a lot of years and i still can't wrap my head around it.

stacymh's picture
Joined: 03/16/10
Posts: 1807

That is so sad. Sending prayers to that family, I cannot imagine how hard that must be for those left behind.

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

That is so sad.

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

So very sad Sad

laurensmitty1982's picture
Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 1117

It is very sad. A year ago, we have a teenage boy kill himself on the front porch of his ex girlfriend. I dont get it either, but for me alot of it has to do with your faith in God and what you believe.

Joined: 06/22/10
Posts: 5602

I think for some it is a depression and feeling of helplessness and that there is no way out. I myself don't understand it either as I would never want people I love to suffer through that, but I guess some people are just so consumed with whatever they are feeling. Depression, sadness,craziness etc..very sad.

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

"janijanis" wrote:

I think for some it is a depression and feeling of helplessness and that there is no way out. I myself don't understand it either as I would never want people I love to suffer through that, but I guess some people are just so consumed with whatever they are feeling. Depression, sadness,craziness etc..very sad.

This is where my thoughts on the matter go. You know that at 18, whatever problems he had or thought he had would be completely irrelevant in 5 years! Part of me is mad at him for doing this to his family right before Thanksgiving. I think it's a selfish and cruel act and just don't think that whatever problem you have is worth dying and causing so much pain all around you. He has a twin brother, mother, father and grandparents who are devastated right now. His mother is an emotionally fragile woman and somewhat unstable, so I'm worried about her.

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

Suicide is very heartbreaking.

I don't think it is possible to fully understand unless you have ever felt that depressed. Usually they have a chemical imbalance - depression, or schizophrenia or another major disorder that is causing them to feel so hopeless.

Joined: 06/22/10
Posts: 5602

totally agree. i personally think it is selfish and it makes me angry when I hear about it, but because I have never been in such a situation i can't fully understand what that person is going through or feeling. I still think it is selfish though.

i also agree it will probably be irrelevant in 5 years, but you said that he was troubled and maybe he thought he was no good and never would be any good? who knows what he was thinking or going through. it is very sad:(

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

"AnnaRO" wrote:

This is where my thoughts on the matter go. You know that at 18, whatever problems he had or thought he had would be completely irrelevant in 5 years! Part of me is mad at him for doing this to his family right before Thanksgiving. I think it's a selfish and cruel act and just don't think that whatever problem you have is worth dying and causing so much pain all around you. He has a twin brother, mother, father and grandparents who are devastated right now. His mother is an emotionally fragile woman and somewhat unstable, so I'm worried about her.

Suicide is very selfish and cruel, but they are not necessarily thinking about the effect on others. They are feeling completely hopeless and drowning in sadness almost, to the point where they feel like it is the only way out. While his 18 year old problems seem trivial, he most likely had some type of major depressive disorder that was clouding his thinking. It is very tragic. Sad

Joined: 10/17/09
Posts: 631

That is just so awful. I have had two good friends kill themselves and I just can't wrap my head or heart around it... It makes me so incredibly sad Sad