Me time. . . (warning: it's a vent)

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AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033
Me time. . . (warning: it's a vent)

How do you get 'me time'?

I've had a needy and clingy baby nearly all day, especially this afternoon and evening. I burned dinner because of having to constantly tend to her. Then I cleared the dinner table and took my fussy baby to get ready for bed, nursed her and put her down (where she fussed/cried herself to sleep).

I was very much looking forward to getting a beer and sitting on the couch while DH flipped through all the tv channels (he hates commercials so much he won't stay on one channel long enough to ever finish watching any one program). BUT the dishes were still in the sink and I had to clean them up so my house wouldn't still smell like Cajun chicken pasta in the morning! AND DH got up and went to bed while I was doing that. Now it's a quarter till 11pm, I haven't even had a shower and I haven't had a single moment to myself all day. If I stay up, I'll be exhausted all day tomorrow.

Vstarr's picture
Joined: 04/08/08
Posts: 895

A babysitter. Seriously, it's the only way I get any me time in. Today I was off of work, but I still took my kids to the sitter b/c I have so much to do around the house and it was the only way I was getting anything done. I didn't finish everything I wanted to, but did get a lot accomplished, and it made me feel so much better. Even if you can't afford to go get a babysitter, try to find someone (family, a friend) that will take her for a day/night. You just have to get away sometimes. Also, the other night I had one of my coworkers come over for drinks and we played Yahtzee and watched movies, all after I had put the kids to bed. It was a lot of fun and I needed it.

:bigarmhug: I know how hard it is to get any time to yourself. You just have to tell yourself sometimes that the dishes (and whatever else) can wait!

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

Seriously there are so many days in a row that I don't get me time. And if Odin has a hard time going down at night and I have a scenario like you just mentioned then I get so frustrated. There are a few nights in the last few weeks that the evening just ended with me in tears because of not having a minute to myself. Last week I put over tired Odin in the car during the late afternoon, drove for 10 min. till he was good and passed out, then parked in the driveway and read a book for the 20min. he stayed alseep. It was better than me totally loosing it. I need to make time for myself a priority as well but it is so hard with a needy nursing LO right now.

HorseMomma's picture
Joined: 06/29/04
Posts: 858

I feel ya!!!!! Same thing here!!
I don't have much of it either...Some days I don't even get to shower...just not enough time! LOL! Its a zoo around here!

KittyRN's picture
Joined: 02/03/09
Posts: 1260

I make DH help!! I'm lucky in that he works from home, but when I need a little me time, he takes over, so I can take that extra long shower (which is usually what I do with day time me time). DH is also really good at cleaning up after supper. We sort of do a 50/50 thing. I make supper, he cleans up, it's only fair.

I'm lucky in that Simon goes to bed really easily lately. Last night I couldnt stop him from sleeping but that's because he pretty much didnt nap all day.

But anyways, you should really talk to your DH about helping out if he's not already. If he cleans up while you are putting Lyla to bed, then you'd have some me time after that!

Joined: 06/22/10
Posts: 5602

i don't really get any during the day. even when i try to i am usually interrupted so i get it at night when he goes to bed. he goes to bed at 7pm or 7:30 and when he has a good night and goes down easy, i have the rest of the night. that doesn't always happen though. :bighug:

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

I usually get some time in the evenings after Clara and DS go to bed, from about 9-10. I do dishes in the morning when the kiddos wake up, so after supper it's bath and bed for the kiddos and then relax for me. My house is a disaster and I'd be terribly embarrassed if anyone came over, but I need that down time or I will go CRAZY!! I used to be a decent housekeeper, dishes in the sink and stuff laying around would bother the crap out of me, but I decided that it was more beneficial to have that down time. Other than that, I will sometimes pawn the kids off on DH for a couple hours on the weekend even if it's just to grocery shop by myself or go to a garage sale or two alone. If I need a break during the day, we go for a drive. Clara sleeps and DS watches a movie in the car. That has been a saving grace for me lately as it's been too wet to get out and play. It can give me 20 minutes+ to have some peace and recharge.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

I just let my house become a disaster. DH is way pickier about it being clean than I am so he'll break down and pull out the vacuum. I need my time in the evenings after she goes to sleep to decompress. No way am I cleaning during that time. Maybe I'll fold diapers while I watch bad TV, maybe.

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

I am also in the "let the housework alone" camp. My house is a constant mess, sometimes dishes sit in the sink, etc. And I have a wild 3 year old to contribute to the mess, so you can imagine what my house looks like. I had to stop caring so much.

And kick DH in the pants. My DH whines sometimes, but I make him take the baby sometimes in the evenings after DD1 is in bed. Of course, my "me time" is dominated by work for school, so I am pretty lacking in the "just for me to relax and enjoy myself" time. I hate grad school.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

I really enjoy having DS down at 8pm and taking a couple of hours to do NOTHING. Everything will still be there in the morning. I've really enjoyed this past month with DH not flying. If DS is being a pill in the evening, as long as he's been fed I look at DH and say, "Tag, you're it." And I sit my butt on the couch. I'm going to be really sad when he starts flying again next week. lol. Also, Saturday mornings are my time. I feed DS and hand him off to DH for 2-3 hours. I sometimes just lay in bed and read. Other times I'll enjoy a nice long shower. Sometime I use the time to run an errand or two without the baby. I haven't had this Saturday time in awhile thanks to out of town trips and celebrating Easter last weekend, so I'm REALLY looking forward to this Saturday. lol.

Oh, and the only way the after dinner dishes gets done half the time is by throwing DS in his high chair or a carrier while I do them. Have I ever mentioned how grateful I am that I finally figured out comfortable back carries? Total sanity saver.

Joined: 10/17/09
Posts: 631

I'd love to give you some ideas, but unfortuntately, I don't really get any 'me' time either... Sad

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

"BuckeyeK" wrote:

Of course, my "me time" is dominated by work for school, so I am pretty lacking in the "just for me to relax and enjoy myself" time. I hate grad school.

Hehe. I totally know how you feel. When I say decompress, I mean read papers. And when I say watch bad TV, I mean do homework while the TV rattles away in the background.

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

I don't really get any either. With hubby working until late and on his days off he is much too busy playing computer games I just get in and do it all. I'm sure I will burn out at some point. I actually have a spare few minutes right now, but thats only because I woke up earlier even though I should have stayed in bed and tried to sleep, stupid garbage truck started doing it's rounds about 5:30am and it always wakes me up.

KatieWantsABaby's picture
Joined: 06/19/07
Posts: 229

I just inform Phil when he gets home that he's on duty for the next hour and a half and go soak in the tub.

Joined: 10/17/09
Posts: 631

I really hope that you can talk to your DH or maybe a family member/friend and have them watch Lyla even just for an hour or so... I know it's not that easy either; but I really do hope that someone can help you out!

It's hard for me to just leave the dishes, it seems like DF doesn't feel they are his responsibility even if they are strictly his so if I don't do them the could sit there forever!! I hate having dirty dishes take up my counter space, so I'm pretty hardcore about wanting them cleaned up... I know all that cleaning stuff can wait... but I think it adds to my 'issues' when I see it all piling up and no one doing it or helping me...