I'm not sure if I want to share this or not, but I have to get it out there so I can think about it. And this board is the busiest of the ones I frequent.
Is it possible to have PPD at this stage when baby is 19 months? Or is it more likely that I have actual depression? Or am I just stressed and upset?
Anyone have experience with this at all? I feel like I don't have the time to go see a therapist and I'm not into taking medications at all. I just feel like my biggest problem is irritability/anger. Then again I haven't had 8 hours of sleep in a row more than a handful of times in 22 months or so so I guess that could be the cause too. *sigh* Tell me I'm not crazy please! I also have had trouble getting to sleep my entire life and I'm a worrier. I took one of those online quiz things and I'm scoring relatively high, but isn't that entirely subjective anyway? I kind of want to talk to my DH about this, but he's so stressed/busy with work and I don't want to put more on his plate. It also doesn't help that I only get a babysitter about 5 times a year. It's good that I work outside the home or I'd never get a "break" from my kids. Then again, my job bores me most of the time. Maybe I'm just in a funk??
Sorry for the monologue. Thanks for listening!
I don't think PPD applies after the first year, technically, but that doesn't mean something chemical/hormonal isn't going on. It very well could be. It could also, as you suggested, be stress, sleep deficit, and other environmental issues all adding up to a depressive state. I think it's safe to say that we ALL feel that way sometimes. I think it becomes a real concern that you need to address when it's ongoing and/or starts to interfere with your ability to enjoy and carry on with your normal life.
If you're just feeling "blue" and it's not really to that point yet, see if you can figure out just one thing that might be triggering it or making it worse, and fix that. If you're feeling like you need a break, prioritize finding a way to take one, even if it's just small. You can't be good to your family if you're not good to yourself too, you know? Can you send the kids to school and take a day off from work to relax and have a day just for you?
While you wouldn't be diagnosed with PPD at this point, you could be still experiencing depression or some sort of anxiety. We all feel overwhelmed at times, but if it's constant and you're simply not ever happy it is very much worth you taking your time to talk to somebody IRL about this. I am definitely not the medicine type at all, but after watching my grandmother and mom both go through depression and refusing to consider medicine (though my mom did eventually take antianxeity meds after years) I totally would in this case consider it. It should always go hand in hand with therapy IMO (because the point is to not stay on them), but the right med can help give you that extra push to work things out. If you're just burned out with family life (which I totally get!!!), do what you can do get some kind of break. Even if it's just going for a walk by yourself at night or very early in the morning. And I would talk to your DH, because part of marriage is to be there for each other not hiding things from each other. It's super hard for me at times to talk to DH about my problems because of his high stress long hours job. He should only be concentrating on flying right now, but at the same time this isn't a perfect world and he does want to be there for me. ((more hugs))
I don't know where the line is drawn between having PPD or it being depression. I can tell you that I have felt and do feel at various times, exactly what you described. Exactly. With the irritability/anger. I've had bouts of depression my whole life and it does run in my family. My mom and sister both experience this too at time. It always passes after a little time. I think your lack of sleep is probably a contributor and the fact that you are a worrier is part of the symptoms and not so much a cause (IMO). Please feel free to PM if you'd like to discuss my experiences further.
I have had PPD and also depression/anxiety...I was feeling better...but sometimes I get back in the RUT....I have never been on medication either.
I am hoping after this pregnancy I can stay POSITIVE and keep out of the depression....
I found (for me) church and prayer has REALLY helped me. I have always been a Christian, but got into it more and it really helped me...
My self esteem has a lot to do w/ my mood too...I tend to pull away from others when I am feeling fat/inadequate.
I am hoping I can loose ALL of this weight and feel better about myself.
ANYWAY! If you need to talk we are HERE!!!! I hope you feel better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks Ladies! It helps to know others have felt the same way even though it's crappy to feel this way! I also talked to DH tonight. He was finally in a relaxed mood and not stressed, so I broached the subject by saying "I think I might be depressed". He answers "Yeah, I know". ha ha ha Seriously, he already knew things weren't good. we've talked a little bit and hoping to talk more this evening and hopefully I can figure my way out of this mess. Thanks for the support!
~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)
I'm glad to hear that you've already talked to your DH. Him being on the same page as you saying something is up is good. ((hugs))
I'm glad you are able to talk to DH and that he is supportive. That helps a lot.
I have also felt similarly (depression/anxiety) after having kids. My DH is a counselor, but he counsels the severely mentally ill, so he's never quite sure what to do with me when I have those bouts.
I have found that doing something for myself (by myself) or going for a walk helps quite a bit. But there is nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it. I agree with Jackie that medication works best in conjunction with therapy.
Best wishes, and I hope you're feeling better soon! (((Hugs!))) Sometimes just being able to talk about things with someone who really listens can go a long way to help you feel better.
Everyone's already given you some great advice. I've had boughts with depression and anxiety in the past. I feel more frustrated and stressed out now than anxious. I've resorted to medication in the past but I hated the way it made me feel far more than the way I felt off the meds. Getting fresh air, taking me time, and getting sleep help LOADS. DH and I take turns letting each other sleep in.