I received the following message on Facebook today. It's from the mom of the other little boy that my babysitter takes care of right now.
I just wanted to ask you a question or talk to you just between us. Do Mrs. C and Mr. C ever make you feel like a bad mother? Or is it just me? I get the feeling they don't like B. They were giving each other "looks" today when I was talking to them and telling them that the reason he doesn't like stuff on his hands and why he does weird things sometimes is because he has some sensory issues. They were looking at each other like I was lying. And everyday they tell B to be good when I get there, and when he is excited to see me, they tell me how he's only "bad" when I'm around. I mean, he's a two year old Mama's boy. What do they expect? And he IS spoiled, but that is none of their business you know? And Mr. C says ugly things to me about my spoiling and "petting him to death".
I know I'm rambling,but I just wanted to know if it was just me and B, or if they say stuff to you too. It just upset me so bad today that I left crying. I know that I'm a great mother, even if my kid is a little weird. He's a freaking two year old.
Just let me know if I'm overreacting or whatever. Thanks
I'm not really sure how to respond to this. Just to give you a little info about my sitter, she is an older lady (maybe 70? not sure b/c it would be rude to ask that has never had any children. I got the impression that for some reason she was unable to have children, though again something that I'm not going to ask her about. She loves children and has been taking care of them for so long that the kids she used to watch now have kids of their own. She is really good with my kids, and in my opinion with all the ones I have seen her interact with. And I completely trust her with them. Her husband is also around the kids a lot b/c he works at an Elementary school, so is home in the afternoons and on holidays/school breaks. My kids really like both of them. My sitter is EXTREMELY country, which is pretty common around here, and very gossipy. She knows or at least knows of everyone in her town (which is a small town next to Athens where I live) and knows everything that goes on there. She talks ALOT!! (i.e. I literally have to cut her off in mid conversation to leave or I would never make it to work, lol).
Anyways, I have never had her make me feel like a bad mother, or constantly tell me bad things about my children. Sure, she will tell me on occasion if she had a particular problem with one of them, which I fully expect her to do, but it is a pretty rare occurance that she has to tell me something like that. Most of the time I ask if they were good and she says yes, will tell me if they ate well or not and if they nappped well or not, and that is the end of it. Or she will tell me funny things that Lily has said or a new word/skill that Lucas has come up with. Sometimes I'll hear that one or the other was cranky/whiney, but she has never made me feel like a bad mom b/c my kids are occasionally, well, kids.
She does often though tell me about the other little boy and how she thinks he is spoiled (though she hasn't said that in so many words, but I can tell what she is thinking) and how he is always good for her, but the minute his mom comes in he turns into a terror and won't listen to her. I never really know how to respond to this, so I usually just listen w/o commenting. She also will tell me things like she thinks he should be talking more and she thinks there might be something wrong b/c he barely talks. Previously, there was another girl she watched a year older than Lily, and she was constantly telling me that she wouldn't listen to her, and about bad things that she was doing, (i.e. she would hit Lily, or try to get Lily to hit other kids that were there, etc.). And that she thought she was potty trained too early b/c she was constantly having accidents, and it sounded like some of them purposely. These things kind of bother me b/c it makes me wonder what she might say about my 2 when I'm not there. But I do feel like if she was really concerned about something with them she would talk to me about it.
Sorry I'm going on so long here. Basically, I want to answer this girl, but I also don't want to uspet her by telling her that she hardly ever says bad things to me about my 2, or has ever made me feel like a bad mom. I also don't think I want to tell her some of the things that the sitter says to me about her little boy. I'm just not sure I want to go there, or have my sitter find out that I repeated those things back to her. So how should I respond to her?