OT Planning a 60th Party

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HorseMomma's picture
Joined: 06/29/04
Posts: 858
OT Planning a 60th Party

Ok,
Its not my party, and I will cry if I want too....
My mom's 60th will be in a few months...
I want to do something awesome...because she is awesome...I have it all in my head...but here is my issue:
I don't get along w/ her side of the family (aunts/uncles/cousins)
My mom loves them and attends any function (2hrs away) w/ them...a few times a year.
I personally think they treat her bad, use her, and talk crap behind her back. (I have heard it) she doesn't believe me. My one cousin was smoking ________ at my gma's funeral w/ her BABY in the car...I came unglued (I was getting my water from the car...I was pregnant, and flew home for the services) I couldn't believe it...and when I told my mom, she didn't believe me....grrrr...
She also was on drugs while preg w/ at least 3 of her 4 kids...they say she is clean, and I am HAPPY for her. Glad she is getting her life together!!:0)
ANYWAY, what the heck do I do? She has SOO many friends...and is adored by many...(she is a GOOD KIND woman) I just don't want them there...AT ALL. Period.
IF they come, I won't bring my kids or come. (yes, to my own party I am throwing)
I don't wanna suck it up either.:eek:
Am I being crazy? What if it was just her friends? Hmmm? They never threw her a party...they never get her cool things...?! HELP!

butterflykissesx6's picture
Joined: 06/28/07
Posts: 509

Well, I have to say that you really need to think of your mom in this case and do what you think she would want. I know you don't want to suck it up but sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do. Sad Probably the answer you didn't want to hear but that's probably what I would do.

OK, now that I wrote that I don't see why you couldn't just throw her a party and only invite her friends. But if her family gets word of it, you might have to invite them.

abacaxi's picture
Joined: 02/27/10
Posts: 363

Can you do something instead of a party? Like take your mom on a vacation? That way you wouldn't need invite people that you don't want to deal with, and yet it is still a special event for your mother. Depending on what kind of party you were thinking about, the financial cost might be about the same.

Vstarr's picture
Joined: 04/08/08
Posts: 895

"abacaxi" wrote:

Can you do something instead of a party? Like take your mom on a vacation? That way you wouldn't need invite people that you don't want to deal with, and yet it is still a special event for your mother. Depending on what kind of party you were thinking about, the financial cost might be about the same.

This is a great idea!! I agree w/ Laurene too. It is your mom's party, not yours, even though you are planning it and should have some control. But based on what you said, your mom would want her family there. So I think that if you are going to throw her a party then you will have to suck it up and invite them. So I like the vacation idea better. Just you and her, and maybe a few of her very close friends (who would help split the cost of course). No need for family drama that you don't want to deal with!

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

I have family like that too. I'd be perfectly fine to NEVER see them again. Luckily for me, my mom kinda feels the same about most of them. However, if I were throwing my wonderful mother a party, I would invite all the people that she would want to have there. Sometimes we have to make sacrafices for the ones we love. If you really don't want to do that, you could always just invite her friends, or do the vacation idea, but I really think you should go with the idea that would mean the most to her. If you go with the party and invite the family, would your mom's feelings be hurt if you and your kids didn't attend? If so, you really should suck it up for the one day and grin a bear it for a few hours.

I would also like to say that I think your mom is a truly wonderful person. For her to remain loyal to the rumor-mongers and vipers who talk ugly behind her back makes her truly Godly. More people should strive to be like her, and choose to believe the best in people and love them anyway despite their severe imperfections. There is no question that your mother is an amazingly wonderful woman! If I lived closer to you, I would totally go to her party and honor her! Biggrin

HorseMomma's picture
Joined: 06/29/04
Posts: 858

"AnnaRO" wrote:

I would also like to say that I think your mom is a truly wonderful person. For her to remain loyal to the rumor-mongers and vipers who talk ugly behind her back makes her truly Godly. More people should strive to be like her, and choose to believe the best in people and love them anyway despite their severe imperfections. There is no question that your mother is an amazingly wonderful woman! If I lived closer to you, I would totally go to her party and honor her! Biggrin

She really is a wonderful woman. She ALWAYS sees the best in people. I always say, I wish I could be more like her:0) I try to be a cheerful person, but inside its not always like that.
Thank you for saying this:0)
AND THANK YOU FOR THE OTHER COMMENTS! I know my answer...I figured:0)
I'm thinking may be either a party w/ everyone...or a party w/ just her friends...but she knows so many people! LOL!:0)

laurensmitty1982's picture
Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 1117

No, YOu dont have to invite them because its your party your throwing for her.. Better yet!!

Throw a Suprise party and she will have no say in who is or isnt invited!! THen the problem is solved!

HorseMomma's picture
Joined: 06/29/04
Posts: 858

"laurensmitty1982" wrote:

No, YOu dont have to invite them because its your party your throwing for her.. Better yet!!

Throw a Suprise party and she will have no say in who is or isnt invited!! THen the problem is solved!

lol, I planned on it being a surprise (forgot to put that.
I thought today about (after) saying it was for "her close friends"...and leaving it at that.:0)
They will start DRAMA at her party, I know they would!
I am thinking close friends, a surprise, a HUGE cake, and other goodies...:0)