The Parent Led Potty Training Thread

[alwayssmile]

This is for the moms who are wanting to do parent led potty training. Please respect this point of view by offering support and help if you choose to post.

The following is from the chat thread. Thought we'd move the convo over here.

So, I'm trying to start potty training Lyla. I'd like to have mostly out of diapers by the time #2 arrives in early April, but I realize that may not be realistic. I've been at this for 2 hours and I'm already worn out and exhausted from trying to get her just to even pee on the potty one time. So far nothing yet.

Does anyone have any tips and tricks for getting a toddler to even go on the potty? One time I had her on there and then when I took her back 10 minutes later she'd already peed in her panties. I'm already ready to give up and call it impossible.

(Yogi is a military wife from a forum I'm on.)


Yogi?s Amazing Potty Boot Camp

The book I read was potty training in 1 day. There are versions written by different people. But they are the same basic principle. It is completely parent led potty training. And it focuses on training your child. Some parents don't believe in training a child but kids have very few natural behaviors. They have to be taught or trained to do most everything.

Opponents of the book and method say it targets a child too early. They also say children are not puppies and therefore don't need to be trained. I don't have a problem with the word usage if it means I don't have to change dirty diapers. But I respect a parent's right to choose the method they feel is best. For my children this was the method that was best simply because I said it was, lol.

So I mean no disrespect to anyone or his or her parenting when discussing this method. It is one of many methods and it is the one I used and am well versed in. I can only offer my opinions about this method. Since I was asked about it I will gladly provide any information, support and personal experience.

First of all they have to be able to walk. The sooner you potty train the easier it is. As far as verbal skills they were still pretty limited when we potty trained. So I will just let you know what I did. Did you know that prior to the mid 70s the average age for potty training was 15 months?

We used cloth diapers so they knew early on when they were wet or soiled. Disposable diapers and pull ups are the devil in potty training. I always chose a weekend when we could be at home the entire weekend. Bought lots of panties, underwear or cloth training undies. I gave them lots of water, lol. Every 10 minutes a trip to the bathroom or when they had an accident. Then after the first time they use the potty chair they just kind of get it. No verbal skills needed. I gave them a piece of fruit or candy (depends on the child) after they sat down each time. With the panties or undies they feel wet and don't like it. Once they use the potty the first time add 5 minutes to the schedule so its 15. Then each time you can add a few minutes. Potty training at a young age requires the multiple trips to the potty since they don't yet know about the urge. At night they slept in panties/undies with plastic covers (the old fashion ones). This is very important. After a few times going potty they recognize the urges. I always made sure as soon as they came to me I took them to the bathroom. At a young age and early in the training they don't give you much notice. Be ready to clean up a few messes. Have some books or toys handy to the potty. If they will set there let them. Sometimes the first time is an accident and they are amazed.

I read the book then adapted it to us. Which is important. Yes it is more aggressive than some people like to be but before disposable diapers it was the norm. Also once you start don't stop or back down. After a few accidents in the panties/undies they will not like the feeling. The one I potty trained by the time he was a year old was my easiest by far. Of course the way he let me know he needed the bathroom was to strip (being at home was extra important for him). After about 2 weeks he learned to sign for the bathroom. You can make it any sign. Every time you take the child get down with them and say "Do you need the potty" and do a sign. Also I sat in the floor in the bathroom so I was on their level. I entertained them.

My Gson is now potty trained (he turned 1 on Nov. 18th). His sign is holding his nose. He is a boy and loves to make stinky so that sign was a natural. Of course he also does it when he passes gas but he goes to the potty anyway because that is the rule.

Don't worry about potty manners. You will just confuse them. After they are trained you can add manners as they get better. Also don't punish for accidents. For the first few trips out after training I put them in plastics just in case. Another thing is taking them to the bathroom when you are out of the house. My DD refused to believe anyplace but home had toilets. Also switch from the potty chair to the toilet ASAP. This helps when you are away from home. Boys are easier to teach sitting down but if they are difficult try it standing and put some cereal in the toilet. It gives them a target. I bought a water gun and shot "the targets" so they could see the changes. They loved that and soon learned the concept of standing.

I am more than happy to answer any specific questions just ask.

I forgot to mention, forget the clothes on your weekend, the less to deal with the better.

Also if you like the charts and all that you can print them free on this site. http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com...ing-Charts.htm

I've been doing tons of research on early potting training. Before the 1970's, when disposable diapers became really popular, the average age for potty training was 15 months old. Those who potty trained earlier say it's actually easier than waiting until they are older. There are people who have 12 month old kids that are completey potty trained. The way I see it, there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to be one of them. Lyla actually gets really excited about going potty. When I ask if she wants to go potty, she squeals and runs up to me to hold my hand and lead me to the bathroom and then pound on the bathroom door until I open it. However, until I can conveniently get her to pee on the potty a few more times, I don't think she really comprehends what it is we are doing. It's not an issue with her as much as it is with me. With me getting bigger and being so hormonal, I get tired and frustrated easily. I'm going to steel myself to trying again over the weekend after I go and buy more extremely expensive little girl underwear or training pants. I don't understand why a 3 pack of little girl panties has to cost $12! It's ridiculous!

[AnnaRO]

Oh good, you put the Yogi post on here. I love it. I agree with just about everything in it and I'm glad it's here so I can use it for inspiration and maybe to help keep me strong!

Any tips on doing this while about 6 months pg? LOL Another hurdle I am going to have is that I take Lyla to MDO twice a week, though she's very rarely there for more than 2 hours. I'd take her out but DH thinks it's important for her and me to have a little time apart. And I kind of need that for my babysitter when I go to my appointments. So, I'm hoping to just work around it.

I think I'm going to have to take it a little bit slower than I originally intended. I don't like to do that, but I feel it's going to work better for us (me in particular) to keep frustration levels down.

[alwayssmile]

I'd just take things a day at a time. And a diaper for 2 hours twice a week will be fine if she hasn't caught on to how to tell them that she needs to potty. You can always take her to the potty there yourself when you arrive and take her again when you get back.

There were A LOT of moms who did Yogi's method above. I want to say there were only like 2 who posted had issues with Yogi's bootcamp. That was actually a sticky on the old, old board and I saved it even though back then we had just started TTC. Yeah, that's how long I kept that information!!! lol. I wish I still had the questions that people had asked and yogi's answers still cause that thread had a ton of info but got lost during two forum change overs throughout the years.

OH, and I'd love to know if anyone ever finds super small underwear that my small butt man can wear.

[AnnaRO]

OH, and I'd love to know if anyone ever finds super small underwear that my small butt man can wear.

The smallest I could find when I was looking around town the other day was 2T and Lyla can wear them but they are loose. I wish they made them for smaller butts. I know there are 2 and 3 year old kids with tiny butts out there. I have a niece like that! Oh! I could ask my sister!! I need to call her anyway.

[Vstarr]

I did that boot camp method for potty training Lily, or something that seems very similar. But i think it was called 3 day potty training or something. I have it saved if you want me to email it to you. A lot of the girls on her bb tried it I think, and most seemed to get good results. I know I sent it to Sarah, but idk if she used it or not. Anyways, I will say though that I did this method when Lily was 2 1/2. I really don't think she was ready any earlier. The key is to be consistent. Don't go back and forth from diapers to underwear, it just confuses them. I have to admit I was getting very frustrated w/ it when I trained Lily. She had more accidents than not the 1st day (I think we went through 11 pairs of underwear that day? I can't remember.) And the morning of the 2nd day wasn't much better. However, after her nap that day, something just clicked, and she was accident free the rest of the day! She might have had 1 every other day or so after that, but not many at all. I will say that I did cheat on the nighttime part b/c she is such a good sleeper and I wasn't (still not!) ready to give that up. So she still is not night trained and wears a pullup to bed.

Good luck with Lyla! Only you will really know if she is ready or not.

[alwayssmile]

I know most people with PL PTing focuses on daytime, not night, training this early. I have no doubt that Aiden is no where near ready to be night trained too. He STTN and soaks a diaper.

Any advice other than what we already have that may help with this style?

[BuckeyeK]

Good luck to all of you! I'll be interested to see how it goes - maybe I'll even get brave and bring out the undies and the singing potty. We have been watching "Potty Time" a lot lately (4 yo DD (who is completely PT) loves it. Go figure)

[Vstarr]

I know most people with PL PTing focuses on daytime, not night, training this early. I have no doubt that Aiden is no where near ready to be night trained too. He STTN and soaks a diaper.

Any advice other than what we already have that may help with this style?

Well, I can tell you what I did with her. First of all, she knew how to go on the potty well before I trained her. When I could finally get her to sit still on it for a minute I introduced it to her. The first couple times she didn't do anything. But the 1st time she went on it I made a HUGE deal about it and danced around and hugged her and we got all excited. Lol. Anyways, from then on she would pretty much go whenever I sat her on the potty, which was just randomly, mostly before bed.

When I actually decided to train her and use the boot camp method, I made sure I took some time off of work and had 4 days that we didn't have to leave the house. I also had my mom take Lucas to the sitter for those days. The night before we started, I had her help me "throw away" all her diapers and told her the next day she would get to wear her special big girl undies and that she was a big girl and didn't need diapers anymore. (I later took the diapers out of the trash and saved them for Lucas ). I did this so that whenever she asked for a diaper I could tell her "no, we threw them away, remember?" Again, the key is once you start, you don't let them go back to diapers or switch them back and forth.

I did also use M&Ms to give her after she would go on the potty. I'm not sure if I would give them to Lucas at this age yet though, but you might be able to think of something else to use as a treat. And that part only lasted about a week until she really got the hang of it.

[AnnaRO]

Yeah, I know there are some PLPTer's who go ahead and do night training too, but Lyla STTN and with a new baby coming in April, that's more important to me than having her night-time potty trained. Besides that, she's still in her crib (yup! and she hasn't climbed out again) and until I can transition her to the toddler bed, she'll just stay in an overnight diaper.

I just want to get her to a point where she goes to the potty during the day, even if I have to take her there each time. If it doesn't work then we'll try again later on, but I feel that if it doesn't work it'll be my fault alone. She's enthusiastic about the potty and she sit there and we'll sing the potty song and clap. Earlier tonight I took her with me to the bathroom and I sat and peed, just to try to get her to understand (she generally follows me when I go to the bathroom anyway). When I got off the toilet she immediately made a beeline for her potty seat and put it on the toilet and then started tugging on her pants. I put her on the potty and she sat there for a couple of minutes, but nothing happened. Then she reached for me and wanted off. Not 5 minutes later, she peed on the living room floor. I think if we can just get a solid start actually peeing in the potty it'll progress well.

[Vstarr]

I know a lot of what I did w/ Lily might not apply or be possible at this age, but it's the best advice I have!