Pediatrician Rant

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jperry5683's picture
Joined: 02/13/10
Posts: 525
Pediatrician Rant

So N is our first child. When I was pg, we interviewed different dr and chose him because of some referrals we received and the fact that I like him from the interview and it is a smaller place so not long waits, etc.

Anyway throughout the past year he has been good. Some things I haven't been comfortable with like the fact that he says he doesn't agree with the rear facing carseat thing as long as possible. But today he upset me to the point that I will be looking for a different dr.

It started with the fact that N was getting 4 shots today. Well he wanted to do the flu shot on top of that as well. I said no Ill wait a few weeks because thats too much all at once (to me anyway). He gave me attitude about my choice. Then he brought up N's weight. He weighed in at right under 30 lbs. His height is at 31 in. Yes I know he is a big boy. He is still breastfeeding but only like 4 times a day. I make all his food and closely monitor his intake, etc. DH and I were both very big babies till around 2 1/2 so I didn't think much of it. Well mr dr says that I must not be monitoring his calories because his weight is too high. He made some comment saying babies shouldn't be parked in front of the tv with juice in a sippy. He has had maybe two sips of juice all his life! He only has water in his sippy. I told him this and then he gears the conversation toward too much tv. I was like wth? you don't know what goes on in my home. He hardly watches tv, maybe like 20 min a day.

Then he said that his weight might prohibit him from walking. N is already walking...

Then he asked if he was in daycare. I said no I stay home with him. He then said that I need to do something to socialize him more if I am choosing no daycare. N has hit all of the major milestones so far so I am confused on why he would say this. His tone was also very horrible. Not only what he was saying but how. I was upset like he was questioning every one of my parenting methods. Sad

Thanks for letting me vent.

rubber_da_glove's picture
Joined: 12/31/07
Posts: 1527

Your Dr sounds like a bit of an idiot. I'm sorry he said those things :bighug:

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Wow. I don't agree with our pedi 100% by any means, but she sounds wonderful now! That appointment would have me running to another practice too. Seems like he was trying to find fault in you instead of asking questions first and then responding at the end. My pedi isn't a parent, so she just cites traditional studies and thoughts at the appointments, but she doesn't share any of it till after asking questions like, "Do you give him juice?", "What kind of foods does he like and eat?", and "How is he sleeping?" (I hate that last question though. lol)

1. Your son is not the biggest baby on this board! And I don't think either one of you should be concerned one bit about weight if y'all are doing exactly what y'all post about on here.
2. YAY for a walking baby! Guess that doesn't make him much of a baby, huh? Wink
3. I wouldn't worry one bit about social interaction. Aiden doesn't get any socializing with other babies since I stopped being invited to the playgroup last June. At this point I'm not worried. I do hope to find a playgroup of some sort after I move to NC in March but that's several months away! I do feel that as long as these kids are getting some sort of interaction, even if it's just their parents on the floor with them, they're fine.
4. Pretty sure my son watches more TV than yours. Only b/c when Dad is home, he has the TV on to something which catches DS attention. Nope, not worried. lol.

You're doing a great job mama! Smile

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

Wow, Justine! I would absolutely go to another dr!! Lyla is 30 1/2 inches tall. My Pedi said that was average size for a 16 month old. I don't know what the average weight is for a 16 month old, but N's weight doesn't sound so bad. Maybe he's a little chubby but he is a baby! He's also not the biggest one on this board.

I think the rear-facing thing alone would have me going to another doc. I also rebel against his making assumptions about the goings on in your household without even asking you!! I don't always agree with my pedi either, but she asks questions about what Lyla is eating and drinking and how much. She doesn't want us giving her juice or much snack food. The snack food thing is just because she doesn't eat very much so she wants her to have 'real' food all day.

My doc thinks it's great that I'm a stay at home mom taking care of my baby. She didn't say one word about socialization. And again, how the he|| does he know how much or how little socialization N gets!?

Jerk! I'm glad you are getting rid of him. He is making unfounded assumptions and judgements about you and your parenting!! Maybe he had a bad experience before you and and took it out on you, but that would just make it worse.

Good luck finding a new pediatrician for Nathaniel!

stacymh's picture
Joined: 03/16/10
Posts: 1807

What an awful appointment. I would also be upset about it. The shot thing alone would have me furious. If I want to put off getting a flu shot for my baby when he is getting several other shots that day, it's no ones business but my own. Good for you for standing up for what you wanted. He should not have made assumptions about the way you parent your child. Good luck finding another ped. I hope the search is short.

PeanutGirl's picture
Joined: 10/26/08
Posts: 345

His assumptions are insulting. Yes, find a doctor that even if they don't agree with you 100%, they will at least listen to you.

HorseMomma's picture
Joined: 06/29/04
Posts: 858

I'd be done.
We have our kids at home...and they are so outgoing it is ridiculous!!!
I have to keep them from talking to everyone in the stores...haha!
They will talk to young and old...they will interact with anyone!
So I don't buy his line of BS.
So sorry he was such an a hole to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd tell him at least you are getting all the shots!!! Just spacing them out!
As for the TV comment...I would of left.
I left once...I had just had Jonah...was taking him to his first week of life appointment...and the dr. hit on me?!!!!!!!!!!!
I told him I had to go and never went back. What a weird O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, I think you should find another dr. :0)

stacymh's picture
Joined: 03/16/10
Posts: 1807

"HorseMomma" wrote:

I'd be done.
I left once...I had just had Jonah...was taking him to his first week of life appointment...and the dr. hit on me?!!!!!!!!!!!

:jawdrop: Wow.

Newlywed630's picture
Joined: 07/20/07
Posts: 770

Wow! Lol yeah I had similar issues with the flu shot with trevors doctor. I declined it for chloe (for the same reasons) and her pedi said "oh ok maybe another time then"... Yeah so much better.
sorry you've had such a bad experience..

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

Sigh. Doctors. Either they are getting worse or with the social media sites I just hear about it more, but I hear a lot of complaints about doctors lately. My pedi, for example, recently told my 4 year old she should try sticking a screwdriver in an outlet. For realz.

I hate it when drs give their opinions about things when they are not asked for, or offer them up about things that don't affect them. What does your pedi care if your son extended rearfaces? How on earth would that hurt him? What is there for him to not "agree" with? He doesn't believe the studies that show there is more emphasis on the neck and back in a forward facing crash?

Sigh. And the accusations....that would really make me mad. Maybe he should ask what you do with your son before he starts accusing you of things.

I also need to find a new pedi, after that screwdriver in the outlet comment. I'm just afraid I'll find a new one that is somehow worse.... At least this one knows my kids and gives me some vaccination flexibility with minimal protest.

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

Wow, I don't even know what to say about your pedi. I'd have totally just walked out. What a jerk. Totally time for a new doctor.

KittyRN's picture
Joined: 02/03/09
Posts: 1260

Oh he would totally LOVE Simon! He weighs 38 lbs! Lol I dont know how tall he is but he's tall.

Dont worry Mama, you're doing everything right!

Joined: 10/17/09
Posts: 631

Oh my Lord! Get a new pedi!! That's awful!! No one should have to go through that!!

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

"KittyRN" wrote:

Oh he would totally LOVE Simon! He weighs 38 lbs! Lol I dont know how tall he is but he's tall.

Dont worry Mama, you're doing everything right!

How do you carry him? lol My 4 year old weighs 38 lbs and I can barely pick her up!

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

Um, yeah, time to run away from that pedi. Not sure what his problem is, but it sounds like you are doing great with your ds so ignore the pedi and get a new one asap!

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Ugh. Posts like this make me really appreciate my pediatrician. You should move to Tucson and go to him ;). I feel like your visit illustrated several things. First, your pedi does not keep up with the latest child-related scientific advice. Any pedi worth anything should know that it is now recommended to keep a child rear-facing up until age two. That comment alone would have me running to a new doctor. The other stuff is just unwanted advice/rude comments. The carseat comment is just plain BAD advice. IMO, he is endangering the lives of his patients by telling that to parents. Who knows what other stuff he doesn't read up on.

Second, it's one thing to have a concern about his weight. It's another to assume it's because you're filling up on juice and plopping him in front of the TV. It's perfectly within reason for him to bring up his weight but that was not the way to go about it. A discussion about his diet is well-called for and after hearing about your family's history he should have been satisfied and left you with the usual, "we'll keep an eye on it."

Lastly, the bit about socialization falls squarely into the territory of unwanted parenting advice. It seems that a lot of ped's like to dole it out even when there's zero scientific evidence to support what they're saying. Even my beloved pedi mentioned things about putting T down awake when she was a NB. It's no business of theirs how you parent unless it's endangering the child and it's not appropriate to give unwanted/ill-informed advice.

It really gets my dander up when MDs act like they are freaking gods and try to make their patients feel like idiots just to make themselves feel better. :mad: A great question to ask when you're interviewing pedi's is : "What journals do you read and can you tell me about a recent study you found interesting?" Their answer should tell you if they practice evidence-based medicine or if they're the type you're currently going to.