With your DH??? has anyone had this happen? Lucas has been totally shutting DH out. Anytime he comes over to him, or talks to him, or wants to play Lucas turns around defiantly and ignores him. It gets to the point sometimes where he has a complete meltdown if DH picks him up or tries to interact with him. He doesn't do this with me at all and he doesn't do it with anyone but DH. It's not all the time, but it is a lot lately and although I don't think DH is taking it personally, i know it's hard for him not to. If I leave the room and am nowhere around this doesn't happen either.
Isabelle is kind of like this when I come home from work. She is with my DH most of the day and is fine, but once I am home, she wants me to do everything for her and gets mad if he tries to pick her up, feed her supper or whatever. If we go for a walk and she wants to be carried, she gets mad when I get tired of carrying her and pass her off to dh. I think toddlers go through phases like this and in my case I think it also has to do with the fact that she wants my attention after not seeing me all day.
I have the opposite problem. When DH is around she wants nothing to do with me. Once she really hurt my feelings when she fell and I tried to console her and she screamed and fought me and would only allow DH to comfort her. I totally cried. I think a lot of it is the new baby , so I'm trying not to take it personally, but it's hurtful.
Addy was like that for a long time, and it REALLY hurt DH's feelings...he tried so hard not to take it personally, but it was pretty much impossible. It was really crappy for all of us, frankly. Who wants to (a) be the ONLY parent the kid will accept and (b) see their partner hurt? Fortunately, she is finally realizing that Daddy is awesome...I think it's a combination of age (they usually grow out of separation anxiety and related stuff somewhere around 20-24 months) and the fact that DH has been around a LOT more lately, being off for the summer (he's a teacher) and watching her alone a lot more than usual. It got worse before it got better, though. On our trip, after having me to herself for 10 days, I think there was some jealousy going on because my attention wasn't all hers anymore, and she was actually lashing out and hurting him physically when he tried to interact with her. So not cool.
But now, they're thick as thieves. Today she was upset in the car and started crying "Daddy...Daddy..." That definitely has never happened before!
So...I know how hard it is, but it really does just take time. Even at its worst, though, I did always see a big difference when DH was around and spent more time with her, so if there's any way for your DH to get in even a bit more quality one on one time, try it and see if it helps. And if he does get sad about it, remind him that it's TOTALLY NORMAL. This too shall pass.
I think Aiden thinks Daddy is the man who puts him to bed and that's it. DH is like the babysitter Aiden sees once a week (for longer than 30 minutes that is) who doesn't make him clean up his messes. Though if he's upset he'll run for me because why would he let this strange guy comfort him? DH is just for fun. Aiden doesn't know what a stranger is (he'll go up and babble to anyone), but if he did have that type of stranger danger personality I doubt if he'd want anything to do with DH.
Yep!!! Tobey is just the same. But only when I'm there. When I work on Mondays DH looks after him and he's quite happy then. DS1 did the same thing when he was 2ish too. He'll grow out of it
Sarah & Gavin
21st January 2008
Alexander-8 Dec 2008
Tobey-1st Oct 2010
DS went through that exact thing when he was about that age. He shunned daddy so hard and it really hurt DH's feelings. I remember feeling overwhelmed with it as well because it was just exhausting trying to be the sole caregiver. I finally started getting away a few evenings a week just to "force" them to be together and hang out, DS was always fine and after a while of doing that it ended just as quickly as it had begun. Toddlers are funny little creatures and you have to keep in mind that their perception on every single thing is so different than ours that it could be anything causing these weird quirks but in time they generally pass. Good luck!
DD1 went through this (only she was rejecting me, not daddy) but Lainey hasn't so far. They grow out of it! I know it's hard though.