Please tell me it's not just my child....(update)

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alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483
Please tell me it's not just my child....(update)

.....who wakes up a billion times a night.....

Yes, this is about sleep. We all know I have a child who's never been big on sleep. He naps great most days and goes down for the night without a fuss BUT THIS KID WON'T STAY ASLEEP! Any ideas at all? We've got a solid bedtime routine that I feel good about. Couple of days ago I was wondering if maybe co-sleeping is leading to worse sleep for him so he's spent more time in his crib than usual. He goes back down pretty easily (mostly), but trooping between the two rooms all the time is wearing and I always end up dragging him back to bed in desperation where it takes him longer to fall asleep.

Here was 2 nights ago:
In his crib asleep without fuss at 8:15pm
Up at 10:15pm, nursed to sleep and put back in crib
Up at 11:30pm, nursed to sleep (just a snack) and put back in crib
Up at 12:15am, drug him to my room where I nursed to sleep (just a snack)
Up at 1:45am, nursed to sleep cosleeping
Up at 3:00am, tried to get him to go back asleep without nursing. Starts crying. DH wakes up and rocks him back to sleep which takes until 4am.
Up at 6:00am, nurse to sleep.
Up at 6:45am, I throw him in the crib after reading to him and turning his classical music back on.
Up for the day at 8:00am.

Here was last night:
He took a late nap (till 6pm) so it was 8:45pm before he was asleep in his crib.
Up at 11:10pm, nursed to sleep and put back in crib.
Up at 1:15am, nursed to sleep and put back in crib.
Up at 3:15am, brought back to my bed and nursed to sleep
Up at 4:00am, couldn't get him to settle down (did not nurse him)
Gave up at 4:40 and put him back in his crib after reading a few books and turning on classical music
Up at 6:15am, nursed back to sleep and put back in crib
Up at 7:15 am, brought back to my bed and gave up on sleep at 7:50am

I'm exhausted. And these past two nights are very typical. I seriously think he gets up more now than he did as a newborn. I nurse him as much as I can b/c when his mouth is full he can't cry (or do play squeals lol) which wakes up DH.

UPDATE POST 28 (here)

laurensmitty1982's picture
Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 1117

Wow! Natalie was doing the same thing almost when I had her in my room and coslept.

Her nights usually wasnt getting up every hour but usually every two hours and then it became routine for her to not fall alseep in between some of those hours so last Saturday I put her in her room and BAM!! Good sleeper!

She usually wakes up at 11 or 12am to nurse and doenst wake back up until 9! This has been pretty much everyday. Last night I did hear her at 3 but I waited 10 minutes and she fell back alseep on her own. I do think at this point cosleeping can make it worse.

stacymh's picture
Joined: 03/16/10
Posts: 1807

I don't have any suggestions, since we never did cosleeping. DS seems to do pretty good in his room. But....wow, that is alot of waking up. I'm sorry you are having to get up that much during the night. Hugs your way. :bigarmhug:

Joined: 06/22/10
Posts: 5602

i might agree with at least just trying him in his own crib. That is HORRIBLE!!! i never thought his waking was that bad. Is he a sensitive sleeper? maybe if you or your dh move in your sleep it disturbs him and he wakes up? or he wakes up and notices you are there instead of going back to sleep? Lucas is a very light sleeper and i hear him wake up or moving multiple times in the night but majority of the time he goes right back to sleep or babbles for a second and passes out again. If he saw me or knew i was there i know he wouldn't go back to sleep easily unless i fed him lol. maybe he knows that eventually he will be brought into bed? if you can try for a little while not doing that maybe it will help? sorry, that is tough Sad

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

I've started to suspect that co-sleeping is what's keeping Teagan from STTN. She'll go down most nights between 7-8pm and will wake up 15 minutes after I go to bed no matter the time. I've been toying with the idea of putting her crib in her own room but that's going to have to wait until FIL comes and goes. I'm also worried that she'll wean if it works because she does the majority of her nursing at night. I'd almost rather suffer sleep deprivation than have her wean prematurely. I'm THAT crazy.

Have you had his crib in your room before? Is having him in his room a new thing?

laurensmitty1982's picture
Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 1117

I agree with Janice! I think Natalie was a sensitive sleeper and every little noise or movement we made she heard. Plus the bed we have makes noise.. I think one of the things that helps Natalie sleep in her room is the window fan, but i have it sucking air out instead of in so she doesnt get cold, just a good white noise..

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Since about 5 months Aiden has been in his crib in his room for the first part of the night. We typically don't cosleep till after I've gone to bed for the night (10-11pm). The past two nights I kept getting up out of bed and trying to put him back in his crib till I was too tried to think and just brought him back to my bed. Other than the one time I noted, DH hasn't woken up to Aiden at all. Just me. :rolleyes: Aiden used to follow me and sleep up against me in bed, but recently there are more times where it seems like he wants his own space. He's trying to move around a lot more. So there's where I was thinking he needs more time in his crib. But trooping back and forth every two hours (or more often) is not helping me sleep at all! Every time I get up out of bed it takes me at least 30 minutes to fall back asleep.
ETA: His crib has always been in his room.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Okay, so Aiden's bedtime routine is like this: Sometime after dinner and playing with dad (usually around 7:15ish) I take him and give him a bath. Then he brushes his teeth. We go into his room where I massage him with lotion. Put on his night diaper and a t-shirt (anything more and he gets hot right now since we've been ordered to turn up our a/c due to the TX energy crisis). I nurse him, usually his typical 5 minutes. Then DH takes over. He turns on the fan in there, turns on classical music, then rocks to him and reads to him until Aiden is asleep. Aiden is very used to this and very quickly falls asleep without any fussing or anything (even if he's reached the overtired stage if we had to delay bedtime due to something else). The classical music only plays for an hour which makes me wonder if that's an issue. We don't own a CD player, so the CD is played on a DVD player and TV in his room (yeah, we keep those in his room just for a CD lol). I'm wondering if he's getting so used to the music that not having it on when he stirs is a problem. The music drives me nuts though and I can hear it down the hall and into my bedroom! That's why I asked in chat perviously if this seahorse might be worthwhile. Maybe he could learn to turn it on himself? Or maybe I'm way too hopeful about my cranky child. lol.

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

Wow, that is a lot of time up each night. Odin totally had that sleep pattern until like 6 months when I moved him to his crib for the first part of the night. I love cosleeping but was responding too much to his every move and shoving the boob in his mouth so that he wouldn't wake DH as well. It took a few weeks for his sleep pattern to improve, and the first week was crazy, but it improved with persistance. I moved the nursing chair into his room for a few weeks and would nurse again after the first waking (1-2 hours later) and then put him down in his crib. Sometimes I would do this again for 3 in crib cycles and then bring him into our bed for the rest of the night. That was exhausting but worth it later. His sleep stretches started getting longer and I went in to nurse less and less. Also I turned down the baby monitor so that I would hear if he cried or fussed but not if he moved or grunted as much. I'm not a CIO type of person so if the crying went on (after a quick potty stop by me) then I went in to nurse. Now he will go from 7:30 till about 4 a.m at which point we co-sleep the rest of the morning and have a marathon nursing session. When he is sick, all bets are off. I'm actually suprised this worked because he didn't seem like the type to be a good sleeper but I think I was the problem in the co-sleep and sleep issues.

laurensmitty1982's picture
Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 1117

Dont want to say it but have you tried to let him CIO in his crib? Usually one good night of that and it gets easier! I think since you have coslept and had him in your room since NBish its going to be hard for him to be able to sooth himself at his wakeups in the middle of the night..

The music thing could be an issue too. My friend has had to play the radio for her girls since birth and they are 3 and 4 now.. and still playing the radio all night long..

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Well, that gives me some hope. I'll probably keep him in his crib and going in there to get him back to sleep hoping to see improvement. We don't use the sound part of his monitor ever. Being an all tile house with no insulation b/w the walls means you can hear everything everywhere. lol. I don't respond till he starts this "wagggghhhhhh" fussing noise where if I don't do something within 60 seconds he turns to full out crying.
Aiden did do a few nights of 6 hours stretches when we were home earlier this summer. We coslept the whole night, but then again there were only the two of us in the bed so we both had room.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

We won't do any CIO. My husband has to have his sleep and I just won't do it.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

We won't do CIO either. Our plan is to use the send Daddy method when we make the transition to her room. Probably not an option for you at the moment.

First off, your night time routine is awesome and that's probably got nothing to due with your problems. I think you've got two things going on. One, he's wanting more space. Teagan will only sleep well if she's off in her own little corner of the bed. If I so much as touch her she starts searching for boob. Two, he's grown accustomed to getting boob every hour or two so he wakes expecting it.

To remedy this, you're going to need DH's help. Pick a time when he'll be able to do some leg work at night. Try putting Aiden down as you normally do but send DH in to soothe him. Have him go until he really needs to get some rest. At that point, bring Aiden into your bed and kick DH out into the guest bed/air mattress/the couch. This way Aiden will have more space and maybe wake up less. You might be able to work your way up to much longer stretches by combining these two tactics.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

The send daddy method will take place once he's done flying in 7ish weeks. lol.

I'll talk to DH about your suggestion. Something needs to change b/c I can't keep up like this too much longer!

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Do you have somewhere else DH can sleep? It sucks, trust me, I know. But it does really help Teagan to have that extra space. Its the number one reason we shelled out the cash for the King size bed.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Also, could you side-car his crib? I know moms who do this with great success.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

I don't want to side car his crib b/c I'm afraid of nap time disturbances. He's such a great napper the vast majority of the time and I don't want to mess that up! He's a great baby during the day. I just don't particularly like him at 3am. Lol

And we do have a guest bed. Pretty sure DH won't like that idea (cat pan is in there lol0 but I am going to suggest it for tonight b/c tomorrow should be the most important check ride (basically flying test) of training.

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

Good luck!

I agree with Erin though. He's gotten in a habit now so it's going to take some time to break and you're going to need DH's help for sure.

Make sure also that any light is being kept off at night. DS had a problem that we finally figured out was because I was cracking his bedroom door with the hall light on when I went in there to him. We made it so there was NO light whatsoever when we dealt with him at night and it really helped, but the best thing was DH going in to soothe him. He finally realized he wasn't going to get boob every time he woke up and eventually he settled into a nice nighttime routine.

I feel for you, mine are only crappy sleepers for the first 5 months or so. I don't know what I'd do if I was still dealing with it. We do CIO, but it's not for everyone so I do understand not being open to that.

Joined: 06/22/10
Posts: 5602

i agree about the light. we have a nightlight so it's not pitch black when i go in there and it is on all the time when he goes to bed so it's not anything different for him. Good luck!

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

All we use is a night light in his room. In my room I use the alarm clock light (you have to hit a button for the numbers to light up). I can't sleep with any lights! lol.
I'm sure I'll end up nursing him a lot tonight, but I think tomorrow night I'm going to stop nursing nursing him every time he wakes up and have DH go in there. We can do that for a few nights I think. Next week is night week, so DH won't be getting in till 11-12 at night anyways.

My next baby better be a sleeper or I don't know if I'll ever want a 3rd! lol

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

We had to get rid of all lights in DS1's room when he was a LO and I haven't even put one in Odin's room cause of past experience. Can the music be put on repeat even though that would be torture listening too all night? We have a heartbeat sound machine that I turn on as white noise after he is passed out. Stupid thing times out after 45min. though. Or do you have a remote for the DVD player so you can restart the music from outside the door?

Also I know sometimes base housing is close to neighbors so does his room share a wall with another home? Maybe some outside noise is causing more frequent wake ups.

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

"alwayssmile" wrote:

All we use is a night light in his room.

We had to get rid of the night light even.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Hmmmm. Okay, I'll take out the night light tonight. I'm sure I'll hit a wall or two, but if he sleeps longer, well worth the banged toes! I should remove the night light anyways b/c the only spot for it in the room is where he can reach it and take it out. The TV glows too (it's very dim, but still it has to be "on" technically for the music), so I'm going to cover that with a blanket.
Thanks ladies!!!!

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

And his room does not share a wall w/ the neighbors. Our master bedroom does however. I've woken up to their baby next door before! lol.

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

"alwayssmile" wrote:

And his room does not share a wall w/ the neighbors. Our master bedroom does however. I've woken up to their baby next door before! lol.

Oh no! that would make me crazy! not only waking up to your baby but someone else's!

and as to the light thing, your eyes should adjust well enough with no light on in either of your rooms for you to be able to navigate. i make sure to check the floor before I go to bed in everyone's room so i'm not traveling with obstacles.

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

Ronin doesn't sleep well never has. I can be up between 2 and 5 times a night. Some nights I can get him down around 8/8:30, other nights there is no hope (and not from lack of trying). It is starting to take it's toll with working full time but ZI have tried so many different things and nothing seems to work so I have just given up.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

:grouphug: Wendy.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Here's how last night went:

Down in crib by me at 7:35. (He moaned till 7:45. No night light and TV was covered up by 2 blankets. Turned the music volume down to 4 - 0 is mute.)
Up at 10:30. Nursed to sleep and put back in crib. NO MUSIC!
Up at 12:30. Nursed to sleep. Laid in crib, no music. Fussed 5 minutes later. Rocked him. Finally down at 12:50.
Up at 1:25, rocked back to sleep.
Up at 3:20, moved to cosleeping, nursed.
Up at 5:30am. Nursed.
Very restless from 6:30-7:30 and nursed pretty much the whole time.
Gave up on sleep at 7:30am.

*yawn* I did't get a wink of sleep till 2ish. UGH.

HorseMomma's picture
Joined: 06/29/04
Posts: 858

Josie also gets up ALL NIGHT LONG too! I AM EXHAUSTED from her!

KittyRN's picture
Joined: 02/03/09
Posts: 1260

I think you're doing the right thing. Just keep putting him back in his crib. When we moved Simon in his own room/crib at 6 months it took about a week or 2 of me getting up/nursing and putting him back in his crib and he slowly slept longer and longer until he started to sttn.

Now he sttn about 80% of the time, and if he does wake it's only once. Getting him down is not always easy, but when he is down he's done for the night.

Goodluck!