Potty chat

Our night time success rate is down to 50%. Thankfully, she doesn't put much out so we haven't even had to change the fleece blanket. It all soaks into her trainers and pants.

We've figured out that on the days that she wets herself she is woken up by it around the time she usually wakes up. That means we're SO close. We just need to be more vigilant about night time liquids, getting to to really pee before bed, and getting her up on the early side. All things I would have much rather put off until after my exam! DH jumped out of bed at 5:45 this morning and took her pee. She was happy to go and hadn't wet. I think if we have a week or so of successes like that she'll start taking over. She feels pretty bad when she wets :(

Feeling bad when she wets is great! It does sound like you're close--I bet with those few little tweaks, she'll have it. Last night Addy was screaming "I'm so WET!!!!" in the middle of the night. I checked her and she was totally dry (and did not want to go to the potty). Weird.

We have still--knock on wood--had only one small night accident since we started fully PTing nearly 2 months ago now. At least that part is great! Still frustrated by poop. We've cut out all cheese (annoying but not impossible with her) to see if it helps eliminate these mush poops she doesn't seem to be able to control. I'm honestly starting to wonder if she really can't feel them, or at least identify the feeling correctly until it's too late. Not that she never has solid accidents either, but it's WAY worse with mush poops. If we can just fix that, we MIGHT be able to really get this...

She had been doing a lot better with me sort of lazily avoiding cheese, and things were solid, and then she had quesadillas Monday night a 3 mush poop accidents the next day. That's when I really decided to take the plunge and at least see.

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Originally Posted by BuckeyeK

We've done diaper free (undies and completely naked from the waist down) and she doesn't care when she has accidents. Doesn't phase her a bit, in fact she doesn't even seem to notice she's done it. Most people say that they won't like wetting on themselves and it should be a deterrent. Not her.
She fights going to the potty and refuses to sit on it 99% of the time. If we can convince her to sit, she won't pee, even though I know she can. She watches us go, and big sister go, and she still could care less. I could try bribing, I guess. We have potty books, and the Potty Time video, and she can sign potty, but she just doesn't care to use it at all. I just really don't feel that she is ready, if she is resisting that badly. I don't want to force it and turn it into a major power struggle, we are waiting for her to initiate even the tiniest bit of interest.

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Tobey always knew he'd pee'd when he had no nappy on, from being about 18 months old. I'd say she isn't ready. She does need an awareness of it even if it is just a "what is this wet stuff, oh look it's coming from me" kind of acknowledgement. Give her plenty of naked time to try it out and see if she notices but don't stress the training part.




So, we have just finished day 3 of PTing. Yesterday he had loads of accidents but we were out the house all day and it was rubbish. He got really upset about wetting himself and was getting angry at himself for making mistakes (I kept telling him it was fine but he just kept being histerical). But when he got home he did poop on the potty which was great. Today we went out again but not all day and he's had no accidents :yahoo: He even held it all night and only pee'd when he woke up before I got to him (he's in a pull up for bed) It's going really well and I'm so shocked how quick he's picked it up :D

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Originally Posted by rubber_da_glove

Tobey always knew he'd pee'd when he had no nappy on, from being about 18 months old. I'd say she isn't ready. She does need an awareness of it even if it is just a "what is this wet stuff, oh look it's coming from me" kind of acknowledgement. Give her plenty of naked time to try it out and see if she notices but don't stress the training part.

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ITA with this. And for what it's worth, that's what my book says too. If they really are, like, peeing and slipping in it and have no idea what the heck just happened, then they are NOT ready.

Pity Party for myself:

I am completely jealous of all you who have already got potty trained 2 year olds. If boys are harder to train then I am in big trouble as I've been working on Lyla for at least 6 months. The problem is that she totally had it and was totally day trained with self initiation and everything. That's why I can't bring myself to say 'she's not ready' and go back to diapers. She had it and then she quit on me. I have wracked my brain trying to figure out what caused her to stop. It's not Kole because we didn't start training her till he was at least a month old. She seems to be refusing to potty on purpose in defiance. She will go when it suits her. Sometimes if she asks for something and it's been a while I tell her to go potty first and she will, with no issue. Other times I will offer something if she'll potty and she refuses. If we can get her to sit down on the potty, she'll throw a fit but usually pee immediately. Other times she'll just outright refuse entirely and then immediately pee herself. If I tell her we are going to the park, but she has to go pee in the potty first, she will run to the bathroom and pee. Yesterday, she spent nearly the entire afternoon outside with DH with no accidents. Once she came in I told her she needed to potty and she refused. In an effort to go the route of making sure potty time remains positive, I didn't force the issue, She went off for a minute and came back soaked. But lest you think it's a mom issue, she doesn't discriminate She was pooping in the potty like a champ and then just stopped. It's been forever since she's pooped in the potty.
I think this is entirely a disciplinary issue, but I don't know how to fix it. I have talked and talked to her till I'm blue in the face. I feel like I'm speaking a foreign language to her. She acts like she doesn't even hear me. If I coax her to say something she'll repeat what I said, but her behavior doesn't change. If I treat it like a disciplinary issue it gets worse, plus I'd like to keep it positive. But keeping positive about it and even giving her extra attention isn't working either. But again, she will go when it suits her, or when she's in the right mood. I don't really know if I'm explaining this right, but it's not an issue of not getting it or not being ready. She gets it and has for some time. Was was totally day trained, naps and all. She is just refusing.

Honestly, Anna, that doesn't sound very different from what I'm dealing with. I am nowhere near ready to say she is potty trained...just that she is potty training, and out of diapers. But...yeah. What you describe is pretty close to what we're dealing with too, I think maybe just a little better because she does well at school and I'm not with her for those 8 hours a day. If I was with her all day, I don't think there would be any difference at all. She does poop on the potty but only if WE happen to catch it--she never self initiates anymore, and usually it's a fight to get her to sit. The only way I manage it is to read her books or put on the tv or distract her into sitting long enough in some other way. She IS (bizarrely) night and nap trained--probably because she did that entirely on her own and I had nothing to do with it.

It is incredibly frustrating, and I'm not gonna lie, I lose my sh!t over it on a regular basis. I try as hard as I can not to show her TOO much of that, but DH is about ready to have me committed on the bad days.

I think I'm done with consequences, even though I'm SURE it's behavioral, simply because it's not working. Now I'm trying to think of ways to reward in a natural way without resorting to candy and sticker charts, which I don't believe in for a variety of reasons.

So yeah--make room in that pity party, because you are not alone!

Oh, I did have one idea I tried yesterday with pretty good success--don't know if it was a fluke or if it will work for you, but it's my newest straw to grasp: I've been trying to break it down when I talk to her and shift the focus away from WE POOP IN THE POTTY (which she obviously already knows) and onto the steps in getting there. So, like, if she has an accident, instead of rehashing "This is not okay. Poop goes in the potty." etc I've been saying "You need to put the toy down, find your potty, poop, and then go back to your toy" or whatever...focusing on the STEPS. I've also been talking about how SHE is in charge of her body, and I can't tell when she has to go--only SHE can do that. If she starts going on her own, I can stop making her go all the time! Everybody wins! I don't know...this may only be applicable to my kid, but it seems like a good road to at least go down for a while and see if it leads anywhere...I do feel like we had a MUCH better day yesterday than we have in a while.

I too am not ready to say Teagan is potty trained. There's a ton of fight left in her. We've had at least two periods exactly like you're describing. I treat it just like any other defiance behavior. When she's having a particularly "interesting" day, I pretty much demand that she sits on the potty. I tell her I don't care what she does once she's up there but that I just want her to sit. I try to work trips to the potty into our regular routine. I'll announce, "Hey its snack time!!" She'll say, "YAY! Bunnies please!!" I'll reply, "Potty first!" Those are the easiest and fitting in enough of those each days keeps her dry. She's become very bad at self-initiating and I honestly blame daycare. I've noticed that they're not phenomenal at responding to the kids with the speed that is required in a potty training room and Teagan's just not that forceful about it. She went from self-initiating EVERY. SINGLE. TIME to me having to nanny over her all day as soon as she started using the potty at school. I figure there's not much to do about it aside from brute forcing through, keeping up the success, and hoping she gets it. We have, thank god, had good poop success ever since we fixed that last poop problem. She really doesn't like pooping herself so she self-initiates on that end.

Don't get me wrong. I'm persevering! I am being doggedly determined about this. It's a toss up on whether moving this weekend will set us back or move us forward as what would sometimes be setbacks tend to move her forward. Today, I put a potty in the back of the car for road trips and out-and-about times. Since I always have Kole with me and I SUCK at backwearing him it's easier for me to take her to the potty at the back of the car (SUV) than to squat in a filthy public bathroom with a baby strapped to the front of me while trying to pull her pants down and up and setting her up there, blah! I just get so frustrated! I'm sure it doesn't help when she sees me all tense about it, but I do the best I can.

Potty in the back of the car is totally the way to do it. Some parents (to remain nameless) make their kids pop a squat in the parking lots outside of pizza restaurants.