Potty chat

79 posts / 0 new
Last post
TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043
Potty chat

I was going to post this in chat but then I figured it deserved its own thread since we're nearly all dealing with potty business now. Here's an overview of PTing so far.

We ditched daytime diapers about 2 weeks after T's birthday (a month and a half ago) and she did pretty well. Right from the start she was staying dry for her nap so we went to panties full time during the day. As most of you know, we did part time EC so it was a pretty easy transition. Daycare threw a wrench in things and she started refusing the potty and intentionally peeing on the floor and in her panties at home (something she hadn't done in like 8 months). I read that Oh Crap PTing book that Leigh always raves about. It recommended to treat her potty refusal like any other behavior issue, which we did, and she was right back on track within about an hour of implementing our "sit on the potty because I told you to" strategy. A few days later she started self-initiating again and we've been pretty much golden on the pee front ever since. Ever so often she'll refuse and I'll just tell her "Sit on the potty. I don't care what you do once you're up there. Just sit." 9 times out of 10 she'll pee and then we'll just go about our business. I'm 40000% sure she completely understands what the potty is for and its just toddler defiance when she refuses so I put my foot down and make sitting on the potty non-negotiable. She fought me once but ever since she's pretty much complied. Every now and the (when she's in a good mood), I'll prompt her to pee, she'll say "no", and so I'll say "Ok. I trust that you don't have to pee NOW. Just take yourself when you need to go." 9 times out of 10 she'll take herself within about 15 minutes. Doing that has helped a lot towards getting her to self-initiate and ask for us to take her to the potty when we're out.

So that's daytime pee. On to poop. Teagan's been a once a day pooper starting at about 10 months old. Its made poop training super easy. She started self-initiating pooping on the potty when she was about 15 months old and by 18 months was pooping on the potty about 90% of the time. Her pooping right after breakfast made our inability to do panties at daycare a non-issue because she almost NEVER pooped there. Seriously, she was poop trained about 9 months before she was pee trained. I'm not going to lie, it was freaking awesome. Then came the potty training class at school. Her school only has potties in the 2 yr old and up classrooms so we'd been putting off the big push to ditching diapers. After some prodding, they moved her up a month before her birthday. We sent her in diapers for the first weeks but she was doing so well peeing on the potty there that we took the plunge and sent her in panties. Within a few days she started having AWFUL poop accidents multiple times per day. It was awful awful awful and I felt terrible for her poor teacher who was cleaning her up every day. I was on the verge of giving up and putting her back in diapers. I contacted the Oh Crap author and she assured me that this wasn't regression but rather something up with her poop and she recommended using a "sick" diaper until her poop problems resolved. We'd already been messing with her diet to try to firm up her poops and we never actually had to use "sick" diapers because the poop thing resolved itself pretty much the same day I received that advice. After a few very watchful days and some potty success, she was right back on track and we've been good for a few weeks now. She's back to self-initiating and pooping on the potty every time. ((She must have been reading over my shoulder because she just came up and told me she had to poop. She's hilarious about pooping now. She likes to sit on the big potty and read books for like 20-30 minutes while she poops. She tells us to GO AWAY and shut the door. Girl likes her privacy, which is funny because she never gives us any.))

That brings us to 4 days ago. I'd been planning to tackle night time diapers after our upcoming exams. Teagan still nurses to sleep every other night, she goes to sleep with a water bottle, wants nothing more than to nurse first thing in the morning, and had only woken up dry a handful of times. Needless to say, I figured we had a battle ahead of us. Tuesday night, Teagan announces she's going to wear panties to bed. I struggled with the idea for a little bit but in the end I decided to honor her request and take advantage of her initiative. I made a big deal about how BIG GIRLS wear panties to bed and how that means she has to hold her pee ALLLLLLLL night long and go potty first thing in the morning. I made sure she peed right before bed, put a towel under an extra fleece blanket for extra bed protection, and put her down without her water bottle (easier when I and the boobs put her to sleep). She STTN and upon waking ran into our room and we took her potty right away. SUCCESS!! We did the same thing the following night. SUCCESS!! We had a weird day on Thanksgiving, I got lazy about limiting liquids that evening, and she had a small accident that didn't even wet through her pants. She totally understood that she had an accident. When we put her down last night she kept asking for water but we explained (and she eventually accepted) that she'd have an accident if she guzzled water. SUCCESS again!! 75% success rate so far. I think I'm going to put her night time diapers up and just deal with the consequences, which is what we did with daytime. I'm glad we have the cloth trainers. They contained the little accident she had so that I didn't have to wash the sheet yet she was still aware that she'd wet. I've switched to mostly using regular panties during the day since they're easier for her to pull up and down. Using the trainers at night makes me feel less guilty for having invested so much money in them ;). I've also been making sure she wears pants to bed rather than just panties because she'll feel it more if she wets. I know she's physiologically capable of holding it all night and I want her to have a disincentive against downing a ton of water right before bed. I never would have thought she'd grasp that and I'm so glad she up and decided it was time to ditch the night time diapers! We deserved easy night time training after all we've been through with poop the last few months Smile

I'm not officially calling it yet because you never know but I *think* we're done with diapers!

I hope my lengthy poop and pee rant helps somebody. You can do it! Just rip the diapers off!

rubber_da_glove's picture
Joined: 12/31/07
Posts: 1527

Yahoo

Well done Tegan!!

Actually Tobey has pee'd on the potty every day since Tuesday. We are bribing him with chocolate buttons but I did the same with DS1 and it worked lol

I'm going 100% nappy free after Christmas, I just don't have the time with Christmas coming up to give him the attention he needs to fully PT right now. But going from scared of the potty to asking to go in less than a week is definite progress Smile (asking to go is really funny, he says "Tobey is a big boy" and it's code for "I need to use the potty" lol)

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

We were completely day potty trained at around 20 months. She was peeing and pooping on the potty every time and I could go anywhere in public an not worry about accidents at all. Then right before her birthday things started to go downhill and it seemed like she was having 'accidents' on purpose, so we treated it like a disciplinary issue. It just got worse. It got to where she just wouldn't sit on the potty at all. If we tried to make her sit on the potty she would throw a fit and refuse to go and then immediately pee or poop on herself after getting her panties back on. About 2 weeks ago I gave up and put her back in diapers, so she's back in diapers full time.

If potty training boys is harder than girls, Kole will go to college in diapers. This girl child is impossible.

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

I wish it were as simple as ripping the diapers off! We're not ready yet. Probably after the baby gets here and life settles back to our new normal, we'll work on it. No point right now, IMO.

redneckgirl82884's picture
Joined: 12/17/08
Posts: 955

Madison loves to sit on her potty & she'll wipe but she doesn't do anything in it. I don't think we're ready for PTing yet because she doesn't show when she's peed or pooed either one. She doesn't hide, run, etc. So I don't think until she knows what she's done shes ready to take that step

Joined: 11/03/05
Posts: 748

We are day trained here too. Back in October, Juliet's teacher mentioned she would not mind having Juliet in undies. The next day, I showed up with three changed of clothes. For a while, Juliet was having about one accident a day. She does not ask to go pee and I think the other caregivers that take over after her primary one goes home, are not as diligent at taking her to the bahroom.
I am trying to think back this past week, and I don't recal her having any accidents at school. She can hold for a long time.

In the pass two weeks, we have started taking her on errands, Mass and other outhings without a diaper. It's a bit nerve wracking. Sometimes, I chicken out and put a diaper on her, if she refuses to use a strange toilet. However, she has come home dray every time and imeediately peed in her potty.

When we ask if she needs to go, Juliet will ususally answer 'non'. I use my judgement. If she has not gone in a long time, I will insist and take her.

At night, if she sleeps through the night, which is not often, and I get her right as she is waking up, then she is dry. If I don't get her right as she wakes up, she wets through everything.

WTG Teagan.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Loiuse, she is right there. She just needs a nudge! Taking Teagan out and about without a diaper for the first week or so was totally nerve wracking. She's OK with using public toilets though. She even uses port-a-potties without a problem. For awhile I was throwing her little potty into the car but she refused to use that for some reason. The first time she used a potty in a store, she was half asleep and she barely knew what was going on. She went though and I think that she's had a positive outlook about strange potties ever since.

Her care providers should really be diligent about taking her at least every two hours. T will stay dry all day if she's on the potty about every 2 hours. That doesn't mean she necessarily goes every 2 hours but she at least has the opportunity to do so. When she starts prompting it'll be a lot easier. Perhaps you can try what I did to get Teagan to start prompting. Instead of asking her, tell her to go potty. If she says "Non" then tell her to go when she needs to or tell you when she needs to go. The first time I tried that it worked and it sounds like Juliet and Teagan are right on the same page.

For everybody else, let me just say that its likely not going to get easier as the kids get older. Some kids kinda potty train themselves when they are "ready" but the majority need hands on coaching and that's easier now than it will be when they're 3-3.5. At least that's what the Oh Crap book says. According to the Oh Crap book, all the kids here are "able" and its you that needs to be "ready". Timing is a big component, of course. So don't get started if you're expecting a big change in the next month or so. But if you have some time to dedicate to this any time soon, I strongly suggest just going for it!

rubber_da_glove's picture
Joined: 12/31/07
Posts: 1527

I was told that if they are "ready" then they should be trained in just a few days with intense work (from the parent, watching for signs, helping on and off the potty, praise for achievements etc etc) for 2-3 days then after that the child pretty much gets the hang of it. After a week the child should be dry about 90% of the time (in the day)

To be fare, I am also a but of a PT pusher Lol But I think that's partly because my mum always tells me that she left it too long with one of my brothers and he wasn't dry at night until he was 13!!! And my SIL didn't PT my niece until she was 3 and she still has accidents now and she's 6.5.

DS1 was trained at 2yrs 4 months and only had a few days of regression when he got ill at about 2yrs 7months but that only lasted a few days. He also had a few night time accidents last winter but I'd say it's a good 6/7 months since that last happened. He did have a couple of accidents when he started pre school but I think that was just because he was too busy to stop and pee Smile

I can not imagine trying to train a 3+ year old. It's bad enough with a 2 year old saying "no" when you ask, 3 year olds' give full attitude sentences back at you when they don't want to do something Lol

Also in the new over here recently a lot of parents are being criticise for not PTing their children by the time they start school!! It is not a teachers job to PT your 4/5 year old children!

And I agree with you Erin, that most of our children are physically capable now. I think that unless there is something physically or psychologically wrong with your child then by 2.5 it is just the parent holding back the child. You have to teach your child what to do and not expect them to just do it themselves. (sorry everyone I've just offended Wink )

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

"rubber_da_glove" wrote:

Also in the new over here recently a lot of parents are being criticise for not PTing their children by the time they start school!! It is not a teachers job to PT your 4/5 year old children!

And I agree with you Erin, that most of our children are physically capable now. I think that unless there is something physically or psychologically wrong with your child then by 2.5 it is just the parent holding back the child. You have to teach your child what to do and not expect them to just do it themselves. (sorry everyone I've just offended Wink )

There's an entire chapter in Oh Crap dedicated to just this issue of parents these days waiting for "readiness" and it leading to PTing a 4-5 year old. You all know that I'm 110% AP, baby led weaning, toddler led most thing, and super busy but I've fully subscribed to parent led PTing. It doesn't have to be a struggle but the longer you wait the work likely it will be. I highly recommend the Oh Crap book. It gives really really awesome advice for nearly every family.

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

Totally just posted a new Thread about Odin's potty adventures this weekend. Should have read ahead first Smile

I'm happy that we are potty training Odin a full year earlier than we did with DS1. He was 3 and while pee training went pretty fast after like a week, poop took like a good 6 months. Odin fights it way less at 2 than DS1 did at 3. I mean he has his toddler 'I don't want to do it because I only want to do the opposite of what you say' but he isn't actually using bowl movements as a power struggle.

Odin totally needs to work on 2 things though. His ability to hold the pee longer. Which he was doing in his CD for like 2 hours periods but I've also been front loading liquids in mass the past few days for more opportunity to practice and making him go in 20 or 30 minute intervals. The other thing is realizing that he needs to and then holding it until he gets to the toilet. The accidents we have had started with "pee is coming" and then releasing a few seconds later on the way to the potty.

My goal for the week is to space out potty trips to 45-60 minutes except for just after drinking and having him practice getting his own pants/undies up and down. We are so busy all week that I really hope my lack of hyper attention doesn't prevent him from doing well.

WTG Teagan on the night time training!!!
Odin stays dry all night and then pees first thing in the A.M. but I can't commit to night time stuff yet as I can't always get to him right away with Archer still co-sleeping with me. Soon though.

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

We, as most of you know, followed the same Oh Crap book and are doing well. We're 100% out of diapers and will stay that way, but I'm still saying she's potty trainING, because we're working on the autonomy part (not having to ask/prompt her regularly in order to have fully successful days. She does initiate sometimes, but I would like the ball much more firmly in her court before I call it potty TRAINED, especially with poop.) We were SUPER lucky that she night trained entirely on her own, though. Once we started day training, she just simply stopped peeing in the night. I finally got brave and took the diapers off, and we've only had one night accident in like two months, and even that was just a small leak before she woke up crying and finished on the potty.

As frustrated as I am by this last little self-initiation hurdle, I have absolutely no regrets about just losing the diapers and dealing with it, though. You're wiping butts and cleaning up messes either way, but this way we're getting somewhere at the same time. And having done cloth diapers for over a year, I'm not afraid of a little extra special laundry. We just have a separate bag for the accident laundry, and I do a tiny hot-with-extra-rinse load every few days (or whenever there's a few things in there) by itself.

We've also been working on a few dietary tweaks to help get some manageable consistency to help in the poop department--she had such mushy poop that she couldn't control it, but keeping an eye on fruit and cutting way back on dairy has made a HUGE difference. (she's down to just yogurt and incidental cheese only--no actual servings of cheese. She was on almond milk vs. regular already because of gas) In fact I may add some more fruit back in now, because cutting out most cheese has almost firmed things up TOO much. Looks like she did get her daddy's lactose intolerance after all....

redneckgirl82884's picture
Joined: 12/17/08
Posts: 955

But how do you tell your Two year old to "Pee on the potty?" If so doesn't realize she's done it in her diaper.

stacymh's picture
Joined: 03/16/10
Posts: 1807

Just yesterday Evan started saying pee pee when he would have to go. He has done it here and there, but he did it several times yesterday. Still a few accidents, but hey, we are getting there. We are still having to catch him before he poops. He has only told me once that it is time for poop.

Molly, I have no idea. I know the first couple of times we sat Evan on his potty, he didn't like it and just sat there not knowing what to do or what pee meant. It just seemed to click sometime after a few weeks that that is what the potty is for.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Molly, since we EC'd it was really different for us. We never had to teacher Teagan what the potty was for because its always been a part of her life. I skipped right over the part in Oh Crap about teaching what that potty is for but I know there's a whole chapter in there on that. Perhaps Leigh can offer some specifics.

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

So here is my story - maybe someone will have some insight about what to do.

We tried training DS when he turned 2. It was an absolute disaster - used it as a power struggle, fought, cried, just total mess. We backed off terrified of PTing. When he was 4 months shy of his 3rd birthday he trained himself in 1 day. He was fully self-sufficient PT'd in about 3 weeks or so. There has been one regression since, but it turned out to be he was sick with a bad virus and that's why he was having poop problems. So no real regressions I guess!

Now onto DD. We've introduced the potty, she watches DS, & myself every time we go and sometimes DH go potty. She loves wearing underwear. She'll sit on the potty when we ask no problem. She has trouble pulling down the underwear. the problem is - she won't pee on the potty!!!! URGH. She's peed twice on the potty and we made a huge deal out of it. That's in 15 or so hours of spaced out PTing. I'm a wimp and accident after 3-4 accidents I give up for the day - I know it's bad, just haven't had time to commit to full time PTing.

so do i just commit, or do I wait, or do I need better PTing skills?! LOL!

redneckgirl82884's picture
Joined: 12/17/08
Posts: 955

We have the potty, she sits on it but just doesn't know what to do in it. She'll say Pee-Pee and help me flush the big toilet.

rubber_da_glove's picture
Joined: 12/31/07
Posts: 1527

You need to really commit. You need a good 3 days to a week where you really focus on the PTing. Don't worry about clothes at home then they can just take themselves without having to ask for you to help them with clothes.

Tobey decided he was a big boy today so I have no choice but to PT him Lol I've left him bottomless all day and he's just taken himself when he needed to go. He's not poop'd yet but he's not an every day pooper anyway. He had one accident but I was hanging washing on the line at the time so didn't see his signs for needing to pee (twiddling his penis)

Last week was really the first time he'd figured out how to use the potty. He didn't want a nappy on so I left him running around. He drank loads, pee'd on the floor loads but DH eventually got him to sit on the potty and when the pee cam out we gave him loads of praise and gave him a chocolate button (chocolate is saved for bribery in our house, I know, bad mummy, but it works!!!)

but you really need to be watching them for signs they need to go when they don't have a nappy on, and they find it SO much easier with no bottoms on at all. I read the 3 days potty training book before PTing DS1 and he was great. I don't know what I would have done without a PTing self help book lol Smile

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

We've done diaper free (undies and completely naked from the waist down) and she doesn't care when she has accidents. Doesn't phase her a bit, in fact she doesn't even seem to notice she's done it. Most people say that they won't like wetting on themselves and it should be a deterrent. Not her.
She fights going to the potty and refuses to sit on it 99% of the time. If we can convince her to sit, she won't pee, even though I know she can. She watches us go, and big sister go, and she still could care less. I could try bribing, I guess. We have potty books, and the Potty Time video, and she can sign potty, but she just doesn't care to use it at all. I just really don't feel that she is ready, if she is resisting that badly. I don't want to force it and turn it into a major power struggle, we are waiting for her to initiate even the tiniest bit of interest.

redneckgirl82884's picture
Joined: 12/17/08
Posts: 955

Does naked or panties work best?

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

The method we are following starts with naked, and then when they've "mastered" that, moves to clothed (although she says to avoid panties or at least tight panties at first because they can feel too much like a diaper). The idea is to move the kid through the stages of awareness: I peed--->I'm peeing--->I need to pee.

I agree with you, though, Kristi, that it does sound like something is going on other than regular potty training stuff. Addy isn't bothered much by accidents either, which is really frustrating, but she does go on the potty so we're just having to work on the autonomy part. She's fine as long as we make her go a lot, and she does hold for pretty long periods, but she isn't super interested in learning to identify the feeling and initiate going to the potty by herself. When someone points out that she's had an accident, she's like "Oh. New panties, please?" Sigh. Still trying to figure out the psychology on that one...

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Our night time success rate is down to 50%. Thankfully, she doesn't put much out so we haven't even had to change the fleece blanket. It all soaks into her trainers and pants.

We've figured out that on the days that she wets herself she is woken up by it around the time she usually wakes up. That means we're SO close. We just need to be more vigilant about night time liquids, getting to to really pee before bed, and getting her up on the early side. All things I would have much rather put off until after my exam! DH jumped out of bed at 5:45 this morning and took her pee. She was happy to go and hadn't wet. I think if we have a week or so of successes like that she'll start taking over. She feels pretty bad when she wets Sad

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Feeling bad when she wets is great! It does sound like you're close--I bet with those few little tweaks, she'll have it. Last night Addy was screaming "I'm so WET!!!!" in the middle of the night. I checked her and she was totally dry (and did not want to go to the potty). Weird.

We have still--knock on wood--had only one small night accident since we started fully PTing nearly 2 months ago now. At least that part is great! Still frustrated by poop. We've cut out all cheese (annoying but not impossible with her) to see if it helps eliminate these mush poops she doesn't seem to be able to control. I'm honestly starting to wonder if she really can't feel them, or at least identify the feeling correctly until it's too late. Not that she never has solid accidents either, but it's WAY worse with mush poops. If we can just fix that, we MIGHT be able to really get this...

She had been doing a lot better with me sort of lazily avoiding cheese, and things were solid, and then she had quesadillas Monday night a 3 mush poop accidents the next day. That's when I really decided to take the plunge and at least see.

rubber_da_glove's picture
Joined: 12/31/07
Posts: 1527

"BuckeyeK" wrote:

We've done diaper free (undies and completely naked from the waist down) and she doesn't care when she has accidents. Doesn't phase her a bit, in fact she doesn't even seem to notice she's done it. Most people say that they won't like wetting on themselves and it should be a deterrent. Not her.
She fights going to the potty and refuses to sit on it 99% of the time. If we can convince her to sit, she won't pee, even though I know she can. She watches us go, and big sister go, and she still could care less. I could try bribing, I guess. We have potty books, and the Potty Time video, and she can sign potty, but she just doesn't care to use it at all. I just really don't feel that she is ready, if she is resisting that badly. I don't want to force it and turn it into a major power struggle, we are waiting for her to initiate even the tiniest bit of interest.

Tobey always knew he'd pee'd when he had no nappy on, from being about 18 months old. I'd say she isn't ready. She does need an awareness of it even if it is just a "what is this wet stuff, oh look it's coming from me" kind of acknowledgement. Give her plenty of naked time to try it out and see if she notices but don't stress the training part.

So, we have just finished day 3 of PTing. Yesterday he had loads of accidents but we were out the house all day and it was rubbish. He got really upset about wetting himself and was getting angry at himself for making mistakes (I kept telling him it was fine but he just kept being histerical). But when he got home he did poop on the potty which was great. Today we went out again but not all day and he's had no accidents Yahoo He even held it all night and only pee'd when he woke up before I got to him (he's in a pull up for bed) It's going really well and I'm so shocked how quick he's picked it up Biggrin

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

"rubber_da_glove" wrote:

Tobey always knew he'd pee'd when he had no nappy on, from being about 18 months old. I'd say she isn't ready. She does need an awareness of it even if it is just a "what is this wet stuff, oh look it's coming from me" kind of acknowledgement. Give her plenty of naked time to try it out and see if she notices but don't stress the training part.

ITA with this. And for what it's worth, that's what my book says too. If they really are, like, peeing and slipping in it and have no idea what the heck just happened, then they are NOT ready.

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

Pity Party for myself:

I am completely jealous of all you who have already got potty trained 2 year olds. If boys are harder to train then I am in big trouble as I've been working on Lyla for at least 6 months. The problem is that she totally had it and was totally day trained with self initiation and everything. That's why I can't bring myself to say 'she's not ready' and go back to diapers. She had it and then she quit on me. I have wracked my brain trying to figure out what caused her to stop. It's not Kole because we didn't start training her till he was at least a month old. She seems to be refusing to potty on purpose in defiance. She will go when it suits her. Sometimes if she asks for something and it's been a while I tell her to go potty first and she will, with no issue. Other times I will offer something if she'll potty and she refuses. If we can get her to sit down on the potty, she'll throw a fit but usually pee immediately. Other times she'll just outright refuse entirely and then immediately pee herself. If I tell her we are going to the park, but she has to go pee in the potty first, she will run to the bathroom and pee. Yesterday, she spent nearly the entire afternoon outside with DH with no accidents. Once she came in I told her she needed to potty and she refused. In an effort to go the route of making sure potty time remains positive, I didn't force the issue, She went off for a minute and came back soaked. But lest you think it's a mom issue, she doesn't discriminate She was pooping in the potty like a champ and then just stopped. It's been forever since she's pooped in the potty.
I think this is entirely a disciplinary issue, but I don't know how to fix it. I have talked and talked to her till I'm blue in the face. I feel like I'm speaking a foreign language to her. She acts like she doesn't even hear me. If I coax her to say something she'll repeat what I said, but her behavior doesn't change. If I treat it like a disciplinary issue it gets worse, plus I'd like to keep it positive. But keeping positive about it and even giving her extra attention isn't working either. But again, she will go when it suits her, or when she's in the right mood. I don't really know if I'm explaining this right, but it's not an issue of not getting it or not being ready. She gets it and has for some time. Was was totally day trained, naps and all. She is just refusing.

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Honestly, Anna, that doesn't sound very different from what I'm dealing with. I am nowhere near ready to say she is potty trained...just that she is potty training, and out of diapers. But...yeah. What you describe is pretty close to what we're dealing with too, I think maybe just a little better because she does well at school and I'm not with her for those 8 hours a day. If I was with her all day, I don't think there would be any difference at all. She does poop on the potty but only if WE happen to catch it--she never self initiates anymore, and usually it's a fight to get her to sit. The only way I manage it is to read her books or put on the tv or distract her into sitting long enough in some other way. She IS (bizarrely) night and nap trained--probably because she did that entirely on her own and I had nothing to do with it.

It is incredibly frustrating, and I'm not gonna lie, I lose my sh!t over it on a regular basis. I try as hard as I can not to show her TOO much of that, but DH is about ready to have me committed on the bad days.

I think I'm done with consequences, even though I'm SURE it's behavioral, simply because it's not working. Now I'm trying to think of ways to reward in a natural way without resorting to candy and sticker charts, which I don't believe in for a variety of reasons.

So yeah--make room in that pity party, because you are not alone!

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Oh, I did have one idea I tried yesterday with pretty good success--don't know if it was a fluke or if it will work for you, but it's my newest straw to grasp: I've been trying to break it down when I talk to her and shift the focus away from WE POOP IN THE POTTY (which she obviously already knows) and onto the steps in getting there. So, like, if she has an accident, instead of rehashing "This is not okay. Poop goes in the potty." etc I've been saying "You need to put the toy down, find your potty, poop, and then go back to your toy" or whatever...focusing on the STEPS. I've also been talking about how SHE is in charge of her body, and I can't tell when she has to go--only SHE can do that. If she starts going on her own, I can stop making her go all the time! Everybody wins! I don't know...this may only be applicable to my kid, but it seems like a good road to at least go down for a while and see if it leads anywhere...I do feel like we had a MUCH better day yesterday than we have in a while.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

I too am not ready to say Teagan is potty trained. There's a ton of fight left in her. We've had at least two periods exactly like you're describing. I treat it just like any other defiance behavior. When she's having a particularly "interesting" day, I pretty much demand that she sits on the potty. I tell her I don't care what she does once she's up there but that I just want her to sit. I try to work trips to the potty into our regular routine. I'll announce, "Hey its snack time!!" She'll say, "YAY! Bunnies please!!" I'll reply, "Potty first!" Those are the easiest and fitting in enough of those each days keeps her dry. She's become very bad at self-initiating and I honestly blame daycare. I've noticed that they're not phenomenal at responding to the kids with the speed that is required in a potty training room and Teagan's just not that forceful about it. She went from self-initiating EVERY. SINGLE. TIME to me having to nanny over her all day as soon as she started using the potty at school. I figure there's not much to do about it aside from brute forcing through, keeping up the success, and hoping she gets it. We have, thank god, had good poop success ever since we fixed that last poop problem. She really doesn't like pooping herself so she self-initiates on that end.

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

Don't get me wrong. I'm persevering! I am being doggedly determined about this. It's a toss up on whether moving this weekend will set us back or move us forward as what would sometimes be setbacks tend to move her forward. Today, I put a potty in the back of the car for road trips and out-and-about times. Since I always have Kole with me and I SUCK at backwearing him it's easier for me to take her to the potty at the back of the car (SUV) than to squat in a filthy public bathroom with a baby strapped to the front of me while trying to pull her pants down and up and setting her up there, blah! I just get so frustrated! I'm sure it doesn't help when she sees me all tense about it, but I do the best I can.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Potty in the back of the car is totally the way to do it. Some parents (to remain nameless) make their kids pop a squat in the parking lots outside of pizza restaurants.

sarahsunshine's picture
Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1462

I'm here from the defunct September board!

Leo was at a day home until Forrest was born in August. We did EC for the first year, and then, because of various things going on, it just stopped - Leo would have nothing to do with it, and DH was not into it. Over the summer Leo various times decided he wouldn't pee in his diaper, and then went back to being fully diaper dependent. Usually it had to do with being out camping and he was really excited about the port-o-potties (ick!).

Anyhow, now I'm at home with the 3 kids, and two weeks ago I just decided that I would start bribing Leo with Halloween candy. He's been a champ. We even started by going to his nursery school class last week in panties and all was great!

The this past weekend and today were a complete disaster with some huge poop accidents that even went through his diaper. Ugh. In retrospect, I think he has a tummy bug since both Ivy and I started the same thing today... well, no, we haven't had accidents, but close calls to say the least.

I have to say that Leo has been the easiest so far if it is a tummy bug. He's bee very easy and takes himself.

One thing we did was got a special toilet seat with a second smaller seat in it that attaches to the lid magnetically. He can pull it down and up by himself and thinks it's great1

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

Hi Sarah!! I hope you join us regularly. Feel free to jump into chat and anywhere else. We like chatty peeps. And I want to say you make some very cute babies! I think Reed and Leo look identical in your siggy pics.

I'm glad you are having success with the potty seat and the candy bribery. I do find that occasionally the promise of candy in exchange for pee in the potty gets results. I have to have the right bribery tool though. Sometimes a simple chocolate chip works a miracle and sometimes it takes a peppermint and still another time it was the promise of getting to go outside. . . She's finicky like that. I will say that we've had a pretty good day today though. A rough start this morning including leaving a large puddle in the rug aisle at Ross, but then stayed in the same panties the rest of the day. There may be hope for her yet.

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Hang in there, Anna. This PT thing is crazymaking for those of us whose kids don't just magically decide they want to do it. I know those kids exist, but I don't think they're the majority. I definitely did not get one.

That said, we had a perfect day again yesterday, at school AND at home. Two in a row! Not counting any chickens, but feeling a little more positive today Smile

redneckgirl82884's picture
Joined: 12/17/08
Posts: 955

I found out a couple days ago that at daycare after nap time they've been putting Madison on the potty and she's peed twice! So I've talked to DH and we've decided the weekend before Cmas we're going to work on her at home and see how it goes. DH also has the whole week off after Cmas (as of right now) and he said he'd be happy to work with her on this! Wooooo

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

NICE, Molly! That sounds perfect.

stacymh's picture
Joined: 03/16/10
Posts: 1807

Awesome news, Molly.

rubber_da_glove's picture
Joined: 12/31/07
Posts: 1527

I carry a little potty round like it's a fashion accessory Lol DS1 just pees in a bush but Tobey doesn't know about standing to pee. I did the same thing with DS1 until he was closer to 3.

KittyRN's picture
Joined: 02/03/09
Posts: 1260

Hey ladies! Anyone have any potty suggestions? simon has started telling me when he has to pee and tried to pee on the potty chair the other day but he's too big! LOL! His little peepee didnt go inside the potty. Every potty I see in store is definitley too small, and I think I will definitely need the "splash guard" thing that most have on the front. I was going to try to hold him over the toilet but he got a little upset and I dont want to push it.

Anyone know of a nice big potty or potty seat?

stacymh's picture
Joined: 03/16/10
Posts: 1807

We just bought a new seat for our toilet. Evan likes to use the big toilet, but I feel bad that it's so big compared to him. So the seat that we bought has a normal sized seat, then a smaller one that you can put down over that, then the lid. My mom has one and the kids just get right up there and can sit without being held or struggle to stay up on their own. Something very similar to this. I realize it is a little high, but I figured we would get good use out of it with Evan being the first kid and all.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

HI SARAH!!! My goodness Forrest is getting big already.

YAY Molly! Perfect time to start.

Mona, maybe skipping the little potty is the best way to go. You don't NEED one and in fact the Oh Crap book suggests skipping it entirely. Have you tried putting him on the regular potty without an insert? He can spread his legs and let his willy hang low. Does it work like that? I have no idea. I like the little seat we have for our big potty. It has the splash guard and is easy for T to sit on. The only pain is that she'd have a hard time to get over the splash guard if I ever got my stool. She'll go no problem without an insert on every other potty but at home she insists on the inserts. Whatevs. So long as its in the potty. Which it was NOT this morning. Stinker peed in my BED. We had a lengthy discussion about interrupting play to go potty. I really think that's her problem. We've started practicing putting toys down to go pee and discovering that they're still there when she gets back.

This is the one we have: Prince Lionheart weePod Basix in Berry Blue

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

DD1 was 2 1/2 when I knew she was ready to PT and she was easy peasy. She just had to be ready, and decide that SHE wanted to potty train, I couldn't force it at all or she'd dig in her heels. What turned her on to using the potty was taking her to the store and letting her pick out her own potty.

I put Lainey in undies today because apparently I felt like cleaning up accidents. She now refuses a diaper and refuses the potty. I even offered her marshmallows if she'd try, and she won't. She just says, "I can't" and won't elaborate as to why she can't. I know she's not ready. But it's fine, I'm willing to wait until she is ready. And it will happen.

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

Agree, skip the little potty and just put a step stool in front of the big potty if he needs help getting up there.

Yay Molly! Good start.

Its been 4 days of accident free for Odin! We were having about 1 per day since training over Thanksgiving then a horrible (2 steps back) day on Thursday last week. He has been staying dry during nap now too, yay! Still using cloth for my own sanity during sleep times though.

Oh, and we went to Costco and shopped (2.5 hour ordeal) and he even used to public toilet while we were there without any issue! Love having just 1 in diapers again.

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

You know what, I'd like to revise my previous statements. I feel ready to say that Adair is pee trained. She only has very rare accidents in that department, and even fully potty trained kids have OCCASIONAL accidents. What we are stuck on is poop. Poop Poop Poop. Poop is going to be the end of me. REALLY hoping this dairy elimination trial helps sort things out...

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

That's awesome Joy! I hope he keeps it up.

HUGE Thing this morning! HUGE!!! Lyla watched me pee in the potty and then ran off, I found her in the other bathroom (set up with the step stool and the potty seat insert) trying to get her diaper off. I took the diaper off and sat her on the potty where she started talking about pooping in the potty (she does this and then never poops so I didn't get excited). I told her (obviously!) yes she could poop in the potty. AND SHE DID!!!!! SHE POOPED IN THE POTTY!!! This hasn't happened in months! I hope I don't ruin everything by bragging about it, but I am so stinking excited.

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

YAY LYLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :party:

Keep it up, girl!

sarahsunshine's picture
Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1462

Yay Lyla!!!

Leo is completely lethargic and sick, poor guy. just doesn't want to move (well hid say he wanted chocolate milk)!

Don't think it will be a great PT day today.

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

Big girl, Lyla!

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

"TiggersMommy" wrote:

We had a lengthy discussion about interrupting play to go potty. I really think that's her problem. We've started practicing putting toys down to go pee and discovering that they're still there when she gets back.

Erin - We had to do that with Ethan and remind him over and over that he could come back to play with the toys. He still sometimes doesn't like to go potty if something exciting is going on, but I remind him he's Quick as a Bunny and he runs and goes! LOL!

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Yay Odin & Lyla!!

I hope Leo feels better soon!

Quick as a bunny. I like that.

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

I wish my kid would play with toys, but alas, she does not. I bragged too quick. We had an awful potty day after the miraculous poop in the potty this morning. Tomorrow is a new day, right?

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Absolutely. Always. Why do you think I bother to get up in the morning? Wink

Pages