Thread: question about ob for SIL...

My sister in law is 20 weeks pregnant. For the last few weeks she has been looking VERY pale.. she also started bleeding randomly from her lip yesterday and could not get it to stop. I know the mouth bleeds easily, but from a tiny chapped lip? That did not seem "normal" to me.. she called to get her blood work results (they should have called her by now, it has been at least 2 weeks!) and they came back normal. The thing is, she only eats chips and french fries.. and candy.. but not much else. She will occasionally eat peanut butter.. but I think that is really about it. So her diet is not too good. She has ate this way her entire life. I am worried about anemia with her.. since she gets nothing from veggies, fruit, meat or any type of bread.. you'd think the doctors office would have looked into this..but they told her it was normal to be pale and bleed like that from your lip! She bled for at least 30 minutes yesterday..

I really want her to switch ob's. she likes the idea of being able to be in town for the delivery but if she can get better care else where why not? The other hospital is only 15 minutes away..she is worried that she wont get there in time. I told her I really do not see her having that problem. maybe if it was a hour or more away. our cousin is also pregnant and sees a great ob at the other hospital so I already gave her that number.

I worry about her. She has no dad and her mom is not in the picture. Dh is really the only family she has who puts in effort and I want to make sure she is well taken care of. She also had a uti and the doctor did not tell her about it till her next appointment.. can't that cause problems having one of those for a month? I mean I am sure she is ok but if something were to happen that would have been pretty dumb considering they would have already known about it for a entire month or more.

Wait, she had a UTI and nobody from the office called and told her?! WTF. That's not right and is definitely not meeting a min standard of care IMO.
Just keep talking to her. Maybe have your DH express his concern as a brother? Maybe have your cousin send her an email or something about how wonderful and on top of things her OB is?

Is she taking prenatals? Is she eating like that because she can't afford real food or because she can't stomach real food?

She eats like that because she is picky!!! Like since she was a toddler she ate this way. IDK why dh's parents allowed it really. Sure my kids are picky but not like that.. These are the things I know she eats.. nothing more.. French Fries, Potato chips, Peanuts (roasted and salted though), peanut butter, A certain type of apple but she eats them pealed, some cheese if it has crackers with it, candy and ice cream. she drinks milk and orange juice.. sometimes apple juice. I just don't see these things giving her enough iron for the entire day.Especially because she does not always opt for the healthier things that she eats. We don't give her a hard time about it because well, if she hasn't changed in 20 years why on earth would she change it now. She says stuff has weird textures.. IDK.

and no they didn't call her!! That pissed me off, because this is the same ob I have had for 5 years and never once did I have any of those types of issues with his office. Now even me, I went there and I got a $80 bill in the mail because they sent my lab work to the wrong lab that my insurance wont take.. so now I am stuck with it! I think they are going down hill.... I hope she has a boy. My doctor wont circumcise.. they are dead set on it so I know that may be some leverage to get her to switch. It is a much better hospital too! IDK why she is so undecided about things like this. The girl needs to get on medicaid too and STILL hasn't. She has simple insurance that doesn't pay for much and she needs the secondary medicaid like really bad. She also needs food stamps and wic too. It is not like she is one of those people who is against it, because she had food stamps and she didn't return updated paperwork and lost them... I don't know why she isn't on top of it.. I may have to drive her there myself!

Just making sure I wasn't being over bearing. I just feel like she needs to get on things, like NOW before something bad happens! With everything but especially the ob issues.. I am totally worried about her. Oddly she comes to me about things usually, not dh. So I am thinking if I keep pressuring her she will go ahead and switch. We keep telling her apply for medicaid like NOW before she gets lots of bills she can't pay and ruins her credit...

Wow, that sounds like a huge mess. I can't believe the office didn't call her for a UTI!! I would definitely try to get her to switch. Good luck!

oh and yes she is taking prenatals.. she is also drinking carnation instant breakfast. The doctor said she needed more protein but other than that he didn't see a problem with her diet. Obviously he knows if he says "eat veggies!" she wont listen. So at least she drinks those..

I would think she would make more of an effort with her diet for the sake of her unborn child. I agree that her OB is being completely negligent and she needs better care. I don't have any tips on how to convince her other than keep talking to her. It sounds to me like she is just being lazy about changing doctors, but I would keep on her about her health and her care to try to get her in a better situation.

oh wow, that is a crappy situation. that ob sounds no good to me and i guess all you can do is keep in contact with her.

Is she taking a prenatal vitamin? I'm not the best person to speak of an awesome diet...but she should try to eat a little better for the baby...I don't enjoy health food, but I do it for the baby and my body... (ha, you can't tell right now though! LOL!)
It is one of those things as a parent she will have to just do it...I love my caffeine, but have to quit it cold turkey when pregnant/nursing.
Like you, I'd be worried about anemia...
I had MAJOR problems when the dr. office forgot to tell me about my UTI...
So glad she has you and your husband! I would just talk to her delicately and explain your concern for her and the baby.

((HUGS))

Wow, that does sound like a mess. Hopefully she thinks things over and makes some good decisions for herself, especially since she has a baby to think of now.