We knew it was coming, and we tried to prepare ourselves for it. Unfortunately, it's not something that you can ever really be prepared for. It doesn't seem possible that he could possibly be gone and I'll never have another conversation with him, never hug him again or laugh at with him at some dumb story he told. He was by far the most influential person in my life and him not being there just seems like an impossibility.
Can y'all help me? I am trying to write his obit and I don't know what to put in it. My mom had three babies who died within days of being born, should they be listed as preceding him him death? He has 4 brothers and 7 sisters, should I list them individually? My brother and I are trying to make funeral arrangements and we are going to try to transport him to a town 8 hours away from where he is to bury him near his mother. We've never done this before, so we are figuring it all out. Anyway, off to make more phone calls.
I'm so so sorry, Anna. The grief of losing a loved one is hard enough without having to deal with the logistics of their burial.
I've never had to write an obituary before but my sense is that you want it to be about the man he was. If listing out the names of every sibling, child, grandchild will take up a page then I feel its perfectly OK to say "nth" son of "x" & "y". Father to "v,w,x,y,z", and grandfather to "abcd." Leaving out his siblings is an easy way to make it more succinct without leaving out any of his accomplishments.
I'm sorry!! I haven't been around...is it your grandfather?
When I was pg with Owen, my mom passed away. It was horrible. We (my sisters and I) decided to do a list of 100 amazing things about our mom, and we got up and took turns reading the list.
I am very sorry to hear you have to do this right now! I will be praying for comfort for ya, I think I know how you feel right now and you're right...it's so surreal. I STILL have the urge to pick up my phone and call my mom, and she's been gone nearly 2 years.
Anna, I am so, so sorry. It doesn't matter how prepared you think you are, you're never ready. ((((((HUGS))))))
As far as the obituary goes, I've never written one. But just sit down with your mom and siblings and write what seems right. I don't think there is a wrong was to do an obituary. I think probably the funeral home or the newspaper might be able to tell you how people usually write them, if that would help.
Don't forget to take care of yourself, too. I know it is going to be overwhelming for a while, but don't forget to put your feet up and drink a glass of water when you can.
I'm so sorry about your dad.
I've never written one either but I would just list numbers of sibs. and not names to keep it not too long maybe. Ones I've seen before usually mention the parents and then list the living relatives. They usually include names for the ones that live locally I think.
~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)
again, so sorry Anna
I have never written one, but for my grandparents their siblings were listed as well as their spouses. If you feel there will be too many names then you could just mention that he had 4 brothers and 7 sisters.
Im so sorry to hear of your loss Anna. My deepest condolences.
As for the obit, when my mum passed away the funeral home kind of had a "template" which helped a lot. I don't think we included my mums sister though. It was all such a blur. If he had a saying he said or anything like that it's always nice to include it.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
DD Gemma December 9th, 2009
DS Luke May 13th, 2012
Anna I am sooo sooo sorry. The hurt never goes away but it does get a little easier. I find myself talking to my dad a lot even though he's been gone for almost 8 years now. I tell him about all the things his grandkids are doing and ask him to keep an eye on me when times are tough. I feel him here even though he's not.
Unfortunately I have written an obituary. The funeral home had a template for us to use. We listed all of my dad's brothers and sisters and their spouses individually and his granddaughter (DD1) also. My mom and dad lost a baby between my brother and I and they did name him but we didn't list that baby in the obit. I think though that could be a very personal decision. I think for us it was more about the fact that not many people now even knew about the baby they lost so putting his name in there would probably have caused more confusion kwim?
Take care of yourself hon! Don't forget to ask for help when you need it!!! And we're always here for you if you need to talk.