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Lalm's picture
Joined: 09/07/07
Posts: 316

My DD is 10 months now and is still frequently waking up during the night. She has only ever SSTN once! Typically I put her to bed between 8-9pm and she wakes up at 7-8am. She is still waking up every few hours. She is not just stiring, she is fully awake standing holding onto her crib rail and crying out for me. I'll let her fuss for a few minutes and then get up and nurse her. Afterwards, she settles back down to sleep. I'm up on average 3-4 times a night. I feel that she is getting up way too often now. I would be ok with getting up once a night to still nurse her, but I think every few hours is way too much now at her age. She's eating 3 meals, 2 snacks, plus nursing/formula throughout the day. I don't think she is truly hungry overnight, I think it's just more of the comfort that she wants. I was hoping to start weaning her overnights feeds this week, but she has a cold. I will start next week, but I have a feeling this will be a rough process. Anybody have any suggestions or dealing with the same thing? I need to get this done because I go back to work soon and I will be working long days/nights, so I can't have her expecting me to comfort her with nursing during the night anymore.

Joined: 06/22/10
Posts: 5602

i have the same issue, but he will wake up 1-2 times for food. There was a period where he would STTN every night for awhile, then he would wake up and do the same, stand in his crib and cry and fuss. The only thing that makes him stop is giving him a bottle. I have to go back to work in three weeks and i really don't want to be getting up either.

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

I think these babies are on their own time table for STTN. Lyla was STTN after we moved her to her own room at 6 months but only did it for about 3 weeks and then started waking up at least twice a night again. She just started STTN again after 10 months. Hopefully your DD will start sleeping all night soon.

laurensmitty1982's picture
Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 1117

Natalie did the same thing also.. The thing that made the big difference was that she stopped sleeping in our room. We switched around rooms in our house so she is all alone in her own room, in the quiet. Then I did let her CIO between feedings, so she would go down at 8, then wake up at 12. I would nurse her because I was already awake. Then if she cried at 2, I would let her CIO, and she usually would fall back asleep after 10-15 minutes of crying, then she would be back up at 4-5 and I would nurse her, put her back in the crib, and she wouldnt be back up till about 8-9am. So she is now only getting up at 12 and 5ish. Which has been way better than every 2-3 hours. I really would love for her only to get up once, like around 12 and she has somenights but not lately.. Hope my advice helps, but def. a quiet room with maybe white noise will help..

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

I have no advice. DD2 is over a year now and has yet to STTN even once. She starts out the night in her crib, wakes after about 3 hours, ends up in our bed and nurses every 2 to 3 hours through the night. I have made attempts to get her to sleep better, but she just wants me and she wants to nurse. I don't know if she's really hungry, she might be. But mostly I think she just wants comfort, which to me is a legitimate need.
I've been in grad school/working since she was 5 weeks old. I'm tired! But they're only little once, so I'm dealing with it.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

So Aiden was like the worst sleeper ever at one point not all that long ago. He was getting up every hour. Two hour stretches were the best I got. I was a zombie. I took a bunch of suggestions from here (including having no lights in his room including night lights, electronic lights, etc) and.....nothing happened for a couple of weeks. ha ha. Then suddenly one night like 2-3 weeks ago Aiden decided he was okay with STTN. As long as you're doing everything you feel comfortable doing to promote better sleep habits, it's a waiting game for when they're ready to STTN. Half of 2 year olds still get up at least once during the night. That right there really helped me put things into perspective for me! Aiden typically goes down at 7:30pm, moans for 45 seconds at 11pm, wakes at 5:15am starving, we cosleep while nursing for an hour, then back in the crib till 7-8am. We still have an occasional night like 2 nights ago where he woke at 11, 3:30, 5:15 and 6:15.

Things that we've done to help promote better sleep:
moved Aiden to his crib for the whole night (we used to cosleep most of the night which worked out great for the first 7 months)
Making sure he was getting enough sleep from naps (for awhile Aiden tried to put himself on just 1 nap a day and he just wasn't ready for it)
Steady bedtime routine - we do a bath, teeth brushing, diaper, lotion, PJ shirt (too hot for anything more still), night boob, read a couple of books while rocking. DS will fall asleep while reading and rocking for DH, but won't for me.
Middle of the night - Goaning and moaning we'll ignore. Crying, yelling out, etc gets one of us out of bed where we'll rock him.
Sometimes we'll play classical music. It seems to help him settle down during the rough times.
Took every light out of his room (night light, electronic lights, etc). There's still a glow from his window since we can't do full curtains, but we have blinds that we make sure are closed tight.
Moved bedtime up. We start his nightly routine at 7pm. He's been going to sleep at 7:30pm. 8pm at the latest. Used to be more like 8-8:30.
Having DH go in there at night, so that the boob wasn't an option (I wasn't trying to night wean at all, but it allowed him to accept other forms of comfort where we can now mostly tell when he's truly hungry at night). My husband wasn't able to do this till recently due to his job though.

PeanutGirl's picture
Joined: 10/26/08
Posts: 345

You've gotten some great feedback so far.

I'm lucky to have a good sleeper, but when she does go through rough patches, we have found that having DH help her through has been very beneficial for us. It kind of separates the boob as a necessity to find comfort. Maybe having DH go in every other time and working with her will help her gradually get away from the need to breast feed?

HorseMomma's picture
Joined: 06/29/04
Posts: 858

Josie isn't sleeping through the night either...She wakes up and cries at least 3-4x.
I give her a bottle...We are tired around! Even the dogs are tired from her! lol!
I don't have much advice...I know teething has a lot to do w/ her not sleeping well. Growth spurts also affect her sleeping and hunger levels...

rubber_da_glove's picture
Joined: 12/31/07
Posts: 1527

Tobey sleeps pretty well. He normally only wakes up if he's over tired and finding it hard to switch off. DS1 is exactly the same. He sleeps fine unless he's over tired then he has nightmares. My neighbours daughter was 2 in April and is up every night and a fried of mine took her daughter to a sleep training clinic because her daughter had never STTN and she will be 3 in November. (I don't know the outcome but it was only a couple of months ago she took her)

You have had loads of good advice from everyone but like Jackie said, knowing kids are still not STTN when they are all sorts of ages really does put things in perspective Smile

I think as long as you feel you are doing everything you can promote good sleep then you just have to wait until the magical day (well, night)


Lalm's picture
Joined: 09/07/07
Posts: 316

Thanks everyone for the advice. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in this. I don't expect her to SSTN, but I just want her to sleep for longer periods. Also because I work days and nights, I have to help her adjust to find other forms of comfort in the night for when I won't be there. She goes to sleep quite easily most nights, so it's just a matter of not offering up the boob when she wakes up and using other methods. I think it'll be a rough few nights, but in the end it will work out.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

I've been back to work since DD was 3 months and she has never STTN. We co-sleep and we're currently working on getting her to leave me alone and let me sleep at night. I'm totally fine with her waking a few times to nurse but I can't handle having her nurse all night long (which she'll gladly do). I've been using a modified Jay Gordon method. He doesn't really advocate using it on children under 1 but perhaps you can take aspects of it. I've had success with the following routine. DD goes to bed in her crib around 7-8. If she wakes before I go to bed, I nurse her back to sleep and put her back in her crib. When she wakes after I'm in bed, I nurse her back to sleep in bed with me. Once she's done nursing, I pop her off and she's expected to sleep again for a few hours before being allowed to nurse again. If she gets upset I snuggle her, rock her, shush her, etc. but I do not let her nurse back to sleep. She fought me the first night but then gave me a week of just waking briefly to nurse and then rolling over to sleep. We had a rough go the last 2 nights but I think it was due to her shots. I like this method so far. It can be really hard not to just whip out the boob to make her go to sleep quietly but it greatly increases the quality of my sleep overall. When she's a little older we're going to transition her to her own room and do the "send Daddy" technique to get her to STTN.

Vstarr's picture
Joined: 04/08/08
Posts: 895

I don't remember if you said or not, but does she sleep in her own room? I find this helps a LOT in getting my LOs to sleep well. I don't really have any advice on getting older babies to STTN, my DD started doing it consistantly at 2 mo and Lucas finally around 4 mo or so. I think Jackie gave you some great advice. Good luck getting her to sleep better and I hope transitioning back to work goes well for you!

Joined: 06/09/06
Posts: 3264

Right there with you, times two... Micah has come close to STTN several times (he used to just wake up once to nurse, around 5 or 6-ish and then sleep another hour or two), but recently he's gone back to waking 2-3 times a night. Brian has slept from 8:30-5:30 maybe two or three times his entire life. He will sometimes give me a 4-5 hour stretch, but then be up every 2-3 hours the rest of the night.

Sometimes I'm amazed that I've been doing this waking many times a night thing for almost a year now. I'd love it if they would just nurse once each... the idea of them STTN seems so far out of reach.

Lalm's picture
Joined: 09/07/07
Posts: 316

"Vstarr" wrote:

I don't remember if you said or not, but does she sleep in her own room? I find this helps a LOT in getting my LOs to sleep well. I don't really have any advice on getting older babies to STTN, my DD started doing it consistantly at 2 mo and Lucas finally around 4 mo or so. I think Jackie gave you some great advice. Good luck getting her to sleep better and I hope transitioning back to work goes well for you!

Leah was co-sleeping with me since birth and at 6 months I moved her into her own crib and room. The transition went fine. I put her to bed when she is still awake and if she doesn't fall asleep and starts to fuss I will let her for a few minutes and then return. Once I return I pick her up, says a few words, give her a kiss goodnight, and lay her back down. This generally works within a couple of tries. I'm thinking I will start doing this throughout the night when she wakes up instead of nursing her.