terrible two's!!

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Joined: 06/22/10
Posts: 5602
terrible two's!!

This week Lucas has been really difficult. Every response from him is either screaming/whining/or crying. He doesn't listen to anything we say, and is constantly having meltdowns. I have tried ignoring him, calmly talking to him, and have even raised my voice. Nothing seems to help and I am losing patience. anyone else??

ETA I've tried the playful route a couple of times and it works sometimes, but not always.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

I'm just going for survival (his and mine) right now. Aiden's favorite phrase is "NO! MINE!" for everything. Even things that are clearly not his. Like the fridge. If he's down on sleep at all it does get worse. This morning was rough because he decided to wake up at 6:30am. Everything warranted him throwing himself to the ground to whine. I just give him his space when he's having his issue because if I don't he tends to get violent towards me. I'm struggling to keep myself when it's constant.
I feel like my child has two modes these days: total toddler meltdown and sweetest boy ever. And I never know what I'm going to get. lol. The morning was awful (he even scratched and nipped at me), but after nap he was totally sweet with quietly playing with his cars, helping me clean, and even said "please" and "thank you" unprompted. WTH child?!

Joined: 06/22/10
Posts: 5602

ahhhh!!! I'm so glad it's not just my kid. Yes, sometimes he can be super sweet, other times he is a demon. Tonight when I got down and tried to talk to him he slapped me in the face. Then later he wanted my chair but was screaming and pulling on it. I told him he could have it if he asked me nicely but kept carrying on so I didn't get up. Then he came over and kissed my leg and forgot about it and was back to normal?!! he changes so quickly.

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

Yes, we totally have terrible two meltdowns here as well. Like you said, sometimes being playful works, other times not. When not, I try to either leave her alone until she calms or else I get frustrated and yell which of course just makes her more upset and I feel like a terrible mommy. I have to constantly remind myself not to get caught up in a battle of wills with a two year old and just stay patient and calm which is easier said than done. And when she's not being difficult, she is incredibly sweet and well behaved so total Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde which I think is par for the course with two year olds!

I do notice that she's crankiest and most likely to melt down when I bring her home from daycare, especially on Mondays after being home all weekend. It helps sometimes if I can get her a snack asap-I think she is hungry and tired after being at daycare all day and I know she refuses to nap when she's there so the transition coming home can be rough after all the stimulation of the day. I confess to bribing with cookies sometimes, lol!

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

Yep, terrible twos here, too. DD1 was such a difficult child all along, we really never noticed the transition to terrible twos but with Lainey having been so easy going, it's quite obvious. It's worse right now because she is trying to give up naps but at the same time isn't quite ready yet. So she's a pill if she naps after she wakes up, and a pill if she skips her naps. Fun times. Mostly I ignore the tantrums, and just tell her I can't understand her unless she's calm (which is true). Her terrible twos are also a bit worse in that DD1 enjoys pushing her buttons, too.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

We try very hard to avoid meltdown situations but its pretty much impossible to avoid all of them. My main rule (for myself) is to pick my battles. I try to find ground for compromise and let her voice her opinion. When there's simply no way to do that either for safety or sanity reasons then I put my foot down. If she resists I'll calmly tell her again. If that results in a meltdown then I'll let her have her meltdown and then I'll approach her when its over and try again. If she's going on and on and won't stop then I whip out time out. Time out is pretty much just me sitting with her in her room (or just generally away from the situation) with her until she calms down. There have been a few times when she's just followed me around the house hitting me and screaming and just being a freaking crazy demon child. When she's done that I find its best for me to lock MYSELF in my room and talk to her through the door. I tell her that I will not come out until she stops hitting and calms down. That's worked pretty quickly.

abacaxi's picture
Joined: 02/27/10
Posts: 363

I don't think Rowan is having the terrible twos. Of course, that's because her behavior and fits have been pretty much the same all along (she is very loud and very determined). I mean, she has gotten louder and uses better vocabulary "No mama, no talk to Rowan!" than when she was one, but the standing and screaming hasn't changed.

Sometimes I just let her scream until she's finished. And then she'll come to me and say "Done crying" and she'll continue on about her day. And sometimes I try to make her laugh instead of screaming, and sometimes I just give up and nurse her.

We use a 'quiet corner' when she misbehaves, and she absolutely hates it. It's just the corner of the couch and the wall, and all she has to do is turn around and walk out, but if I put her there, she'll cry for awhile until she calms herself down (or eventually wanders out and looks for me still screaming). If you ask her about it, she'll tell you why she has to go to the quiet corner (like "touching knives" and "no hit mama in the eye") and sometimes she brings it up in other situations. Like yesterday, we were at a bar with some friends and Rowan jumped on the couch there, and when I told her to stop she said "No jumping on the couch at home. Have to go to quiet corner." I think that, for now at least, it works as a deterrent.

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

Olivia is a bit younger than most of the rest of them so I'm just starting to see these terrible tantrums in the past week or so. It's no fun! But on the flip side - DS was the MOST AWFUL 2 year old ever so I think I'll be able to deal with Livy just fine! LOL! I'm having much more trouble with DS's behavior issues as a 3 year old. If you think 2 is bad, just wait for 3!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!! The big difference is that a 2 year old just wants what they want but a 3 year old wants what they want, plus is sneaky and plus breaks the "rules" to get a rise out of you on purpose! Some days I really want to run away!!!! ha ha ha

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

Ronin can act crazy sometimes, but even day care have noticed his emotional regulation is pretty good for a two year old. He will whinge and cry or yell or try to hit, but ( touch wood) no full on throwing himself to the florr tantrums like his classmates, and his 'tantrums' are generally very shortin saying that he has other ways to try and push me over the end and tries them all to see how far Mummy can go before she goes insane. I pick my battles like Erin, he doesn't want cereal for breakfast and wants yoghurt instead, fine it's not going to hurt anyone so it's not worth me fighting it

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Yes, I am very careful to pick battles too, and we also started "You need to go to your room for some quiet time and calm down." Sometimes she does, or sometimes just saying that is enough to help her get it together. Of course nothing works all the time, but...this too shall pass!

Oh! I just read the BEST article that might be useful too...I've started trying this and it has actually worked really well so far: Challenge The Brat

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

(Erin witnessed one of Adair's biggest tantrums the other day. All the way onto the floor screaming. Because it was time to go home from school. Some battles have to happen and you just get through it!)

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Oh geeze. That's it Leigh? Tame. Lol
Yesterday Aiden asked for milk (signed and said milk both!). I gave him one of his cup trainers with milk. He took one taste, threw the cup, and fell to the floor. :roll:

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

been there with the cups - With Olivia if I don't give her the SAME COLOR as her brother she often throws a fit. From same color yogurt to same color cup. Highly annoying, but not worth a battle!

I liked that article Leigh! It's a really good point. That might be one of my issues with DS. Maybe I'll pull out the new lacing things I got the other day this weekend.

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Yeah, I thought it was a REALLY great point to remember. Addy's been super annoying about getting dressed lately, so when it happens I've been saying "Oh, can YOU do it?" and walking away. She's terrible at it so it's a real challenge for her, and so far she's perked right up and really tried to do it herself (and stops fighting when I finally step in to help her). Trying to find some other ways to step it up too...

rubber_da_glove's picture
Joined: 12/31/07
Posts: 1527

Yeah, he's just being two. He'll grow out of it Smile Tobey is always saying "No, I do it" to everything and when I try and help him (climb down the stairs/pour a drink/chop something up etc etc) he has a big melt down.

From my experience being 2.5-3 was a good age. Wait till you get to the f*%king 4's Wink

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

No, it wasn't because of the cup. It was because he changed his mind and wanted "juice" (water with a touch of lemonade). :roll: Yes, the kid asked for milk. But it wasn't what he wanted.

I am very thankful that DS learned to say "I need help" and USES it. Only issue is that he comes up to us whining "I need help" a few dozen times a day. And it's usually for stupid stuff he can do on his own. Although it was awfully adorable this afternoon when DH was getting Christmas totes out of the attic and DS asks "need help?"