Toddler masterbation?

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AnnaRO's picture
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Toddler masterbation?

Does your toddler play with him/herself?? Lyla does this ALL. THE. TIME. and it's extremely annoying. I'm not sure how I should handle it. Trying to explain to her that it's something to only be done in private is totally over her head, but I don't want to make it this horrible thing either. As I'm sitting here typing this she's got her hand in her pants laying next to me on the couch. Any time she is naked she sticks her hand down there and plays with herself. What gives?

redneckgirl82884's picture
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My little cousin did that when she was little. I just wonder if it's a facination thing? Like how some kids play with their nose or ears? I'm sure it's annoying more than anything.

cactuswren's picture
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It's very normal but I agree it can be annoying and you do want them to learn some boundaries--you don't want to give her a complex, but you also don't want her sitting around in kindergarten playing with herself at circle time (it happens!). I have approached it thus far by telling her not to put her hands in there because her hands are dirty and we need to be gentle with it and keep it clean. I think she's had enough experience with rashes and such that this makes sense to her, because she usually stops. Or if she does it while on the potty I just tell her to keep her hands out of the potty.

It's a tough one...

alwayssmile's picture
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Oh Aiden loves his toy. Thankfully we've never had a problem with him doing it in public or around company. I don't say much to him really choosing to not make a big deal over it. Though if it comes to him doing it around others or out of the house I will tell him only at home alone.

redneckgirl82884's picture
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I would probably be that way to like Leigh said, just be gentle and tell her thats not what little girls are supposed to do, but is it a phase I wonder?

TiggersMommy's picture
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T's not really much of a self-diddler but I mostly ignore it. I do explain that she needs to be careful with that area. For example, I don't want her copying me and trying to insert a tampon so I explained that it would make her sick and it would make her vagina "red". Red vagina is code for a painful vagina. She gets that. If she's messing with herself a bit too rough I'll tell her she needs to be careful or else she'll get a red vagina. I think if you ignore it and put her in clothes that aren't easy access while you're out that it will simply fade like other toddler oddities and if it continues until she's older you'll be able to explain how its a private activity then.

rubber_da_glove's picture
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Yep. Both mine do it. And play with their bum. DS1 is of an age now where I can really explain to him that if he wants to play with the stuff in his underwear he has to do it in private. He doesn't really listen though. I'm always saying "leave your penis alone/get your fingers out your bum". He stopped with his grandparents a few weeks ago and he was on the sofa playig with his testicles and my MIL said "What are you doing?" expecting him to stop and he just said "I'm playing with my goolies" like it's a normal thing that everyone does. But he doesn't do it in public, normally when he's just watching TV

I just ignore Tobey and leave him to it. If it does start to do him harm then I'll try and discourage it more but he's only just really noticed it's there since PTing and he's got easy access now. I'll explain the same thing to him when he's older that you have to do it in private but I'm pretty sure it will also fall on deaf ears

ange84's picture
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You mean their hand shouldn't be on it 10 hours a day lol. Ronin is constantly playing with it, I have even tried 'if you keep playing with it it will fall off but he just laughs.

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"rubber_da_glove" wrote:

my MIL said "What are you doing?" expecting him to stop and he just said "I'm playing with my goolies" like it's a normal thing that everyone does.

this made me lol Lol

it's not a big thing here. Usually when he is in the bathtub he is pulling on it but other then that not much. We pretty much ignore it.

AnnaRO's picture
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She doesn't do it in public and hasn't done it around company, but when she's naked or if she's laying on the couch or at some random times she'll have her hands on that area or in her pants. I've told her on occasion to get her hand out of her pants, but I don't want to give her a complex about it. She understands owies and 'hurt the bum' stuff but it still doesn't deter her behavior at all. She basically doesn't listen to anything I tell her to do or not do even if she completely understands.

momW's picture
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If she's not doing it in public just don't worry about it. It usually is just a phase. She'll catch on to societal rules about such things soon enough. I just tell Clara to be careful and to keep her hands clean. I watch how I phrase things because like you said I really don't want her to be uncomfortable about her vagina or ashamed but it is something that is meant for home only so the one and only time she was sticking her hands in her pants at the grocery store I just told her that she should do that at home and handed her something to hold instead. The biggest problem I have with Clara is that she's still in a diaper and when she moves her diaper aside to stick her hands in there I am never 100% sure there's not poop in there so I find myself checking her diaper LOL. DS1 is constantly playing with his penis, it's almost a joke now.