I got this email today from babycentre...
...and... ugh, I feel like I'm admitting to a cocaine or herion addiction... or like I've failed miserabley at being mom & wife (to-be)... but the story hits so close to home for me; it's as if I was reading about my own life right now... (excluding this baby being number 4 for me)
So I'm terrified, but I think I have PPD ... and now I'm freaking out about it because I'm too scared to say anything to anyone. I know DF knows something has been/is wrong and it seems to be getting worse, but I don't know if he thinks it's this or if he even really knows about PPD...
I can't really even begin to explain how upset ... I feel like I must have done something wrong in my life to have this happen... does that make sense? I don't understand why this is happening... I just want to be normal again...
Hun I know you can get through this but you should try to talk to your DF and your OB. You dont have to tell anyone else but possibly talking to your OB can give you some tips on how to get out of the funk you have been in and you talking to your DF will help because he may be able to step up a little and take care of things so its easier on you.
After having any of my kids I have always felt off. Not completely myself and usually I dont come back until I have lost all the weight and get sleep back. I know that its not the same as PPD but its hard to function when you dont feel like yourself. I usually take trips by myself once a year too just to get a way and recroup.. I hope you feel better soon..
Mom of 3 beautiful babes!
1 mth 6mth, 11mth
I'm in a similar situation, though I think mine went from severe anxiety to depression. I know now (looking back) how I completely lost my mind for a while. It started during the last 2 months of pregnancy and seemed to calm down around the time Lyla was 4 months old. But I know that I am not doing as well as I should, or enjoying motherhood as much as I should all the time. It isn't severe, but I have moments still.
Since I am not working I don't have health insurance and we can't afford for me to go to the doctor so there is nothing to be done for it. So in my case, I am just grateful that it isn't severe and I hope that it will continue to get better on it's own.
You are not alone, not even on this board. You don't have to tell anyone. You should call your OB, but nobody else needs to know unless you want them to. I didn't mean to hijack your thread in any way, Stacy. I just wanted you to know that I know how you feel.
Maybe it's not fullfledge PPD... I'm just in such a 'funk' I'm such a strong person normally. I'm known as 'the life of the party', I've always got a smile on my face, a stupid joke to tell... I'm always up for a good time... but for awhile now I've been feeling off and it seems like I'm getting farther from the/my mark... I don't know how I got here, or what I can do to get out of it... I don't feel myself much anymore. I love my DF and my girls beyond words. I want to be able to show it & have them know it no matter what. Lately it seems like lately I'm constantly tired, crusty and crying. I feel like I can't fully get into/get excited about something - family outtings, going out by myself, going to swimming lesssons w DD1, or just having Sophie & me time it all seems to be 'flat'... I don't know if the weather is part of it too... it's been a long winter cooped up indoors and I know I'm not the only one who is going stir crazy and now that it has rained almost constantly for weeks straight I still can't really get out of the house. My DF works evenings, so he leaves here on Tues, Wed and Thurs at 2p and doesn't come home till 1230a and then on Fri and Sat he leaves here at 430p and then is at work until 230a ... so because of his late hours, he sleeps in most days (10a & sometimes later) so it just feels like he gets up, gets ready for work and then in a whirl wind is gone and I'm alone to look after the girls & do all the housework... Ugh... I mean, not all days are bad, but some days are REALLY bad...
Thank you all for just reading/listening... You ladies are the best
... and thank you so much Anna!! Your post meant so much to me!!
Sounds like your dh and mine live the same lives. My dh works those same hours and usually sleeps in till 10am which drives me nuts but I tend to leave him with the kids by "finding" something to do so he has to wake up.
I think you should find something for yourself to do a couple times a week like breakfast with gfs, exercising, or even just driving around. I hope you find yourself again.. We are here for you!
Mom of 3 beautiful babes!
1 mth 6mth, 11mth
I think I'm also in a depression. After Glenns dad died, lots of emotions have been sitting on my chest and I just can't seem to function very well. I've talked with Glenn and to be honest he either doesn't care or just doesn't know how to respond. either way I'm dealing with it alone. Like Anna, I have no insurance and can't go to a doctor or I would. I'm just taking things day by day. Not tryin to hijacking your thread, sorry. but just know you aren't alone.
Totally talk with your DH and your doctor so you can get some help. There is no need to talk to friends and family if you don't feel like you want to, things like that are personal unless you want to share. Getting help though from your spouse and doctor can help you get back to a place you want to be. I'm sorry your going through this hun.
~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)
Please talk to your doctor!!! I was diagnosed with PPD (well more like PP OCD, but whatever, pretty much the same) early on and started on Zoloft. It took a bit to work, but i feel 100% better now. i remember how anxious and hopeless I felt for awhile. It was at it's peak over xmas which sucked, but now I feel normal!! (I still worry about ds, but the doctor also thinks something is not right so at least it's not just me now!).
If you do go on meds, which I recommend because that is the only thing that worked for me (I talked to a counsellor as well but i dont feel that helped much) just keep in mind they take awhile to work and sometimes things can get a bit worse before they get better. For about 2 weeks after starting the meds I had more anxiety and wanted to quit them, but continued on and had the dosages adjusted and like i said, now i feel great!
And I am still breastfeeding, these drugs have been around along time and they are known to be safe whil breastfeeding, so dont worry about that.
I hope you feel better really soon!