Update on my dad. . . New update post #23

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AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033
Update on my dad. . . New update post #23

. . . for those of you who've inquired.

So after thinking that my birth plan was pretty much figured out, it's completely uncertain now. Unfortunately, that is the least of my stress. My dad is in ICU in critical condition. He was admitted into the hospital 2 weeks ago with some issues and has since gotten worse and worse. After the doctors waited a week to remove his gallbladder because of some infection of unknown origin they finally decided to do the surgery. He got worse after that and now he's on a ventilator in ICU were he's tied to the bed for those in between moments when his sedation wears off.

He's also got late stage cirrhosis of the liver, but that's an issue that they won't even tackle right now. We are working on getting him transferred to Corpus Christi to see a hematologist and hopefully find out why the source of the sepsis. His white blood cell count is very high. We don't know if he's going to make it at all and he's the sole provider for the household (himself, my mom and my youngest sis). The doctors haven't discussed prognosis at all, and the nurse today told me it's because they just don't know. DH and I just spent 3 days there (6 hour drive away) and just got back this evening. I didn't want to leave, but we just can't afford to stay there.

My DH is also unemployed and we currently have no income coming in, so we are an a very fixed budget right now. It's all I can do to keep it together. I feel like I'm on the verge of a complete nervous breakdown right now and I'm supposed to be focused on preparing for the birth of my second child. And I feel selfish about even occasionally thinking of this part, but I doubt very much that my mom will be able to make it here for the birth, so at some point I have to start thinking about a back-up plan for Lyla's care when I go into labor. I am in some form of hell now. I don't know what to do, think, say or feel about anything. I hate an emotional breakdown last night after I couldn't get a stupid plastic fork out of a plastic wrapper. I just want to crawl under my blanket in my bed and cry. I kind of want to set up an account for people to donate money to help my mom pay bills, but I don't know who would donate to it, or even how to advertise it where people who know my dad would see it. Not to mention I'd feel bad asking for money, but my mom has always been a SAHM, not that she'd be able to go to work anyway with dad in such bad shape, and dad sure isn't bringing in any money. They've always lived paycheck to paycheck and don't have any health insurance at all, so there's that to consider too. Ugh, I could write a book with everything that is stressing me out right now.

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

I'm sorry to hear he's not doing any better. Sad

Deep breaths, and try to remember to take care of yourself. (((Hugs)))

KittyRN's picture
Joined: 02/03/09
Posts: 1260

Oh Anna! I wish I was there to give you a big hug! And I would totally watch Lyla for you if I were there!
I hope your Dad does a turn around really fast.

KittyRN's picture
Joined: 02/03/09
Posts: 1260

Oh and I wanted to add, I spent a semester in the ICU during nursing school, and I know it can look scary and people can get very sick, but the majority of people get better!! We had tons of patients where we were not sure exactly what was going on, or who had very serious problems, and they eventually come around. I know that doesnt help you now in the middle of everything, but I have noticed that most people are incredibly strong and can overcome these problems.

laurensmitty1982's picture
Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 1117

Im so sorry Anna. I cant imagine how you feel. This is alot to deal with and just knowing you dont know what is going to happen with your dad would be enough stress without having to worry about other things. I hope they can figure out what is going on with him so he can be healed..

Newlywed630's picture
Joined: 07/20/07
Posts: 770

Sad Anna. I am sorry that he is not getting any better yet. I hope he is able to start to come around really soon. Huge hugs...

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

I'm so sorry to read this Anna! Sad
Many, many :bigarmhug:!

I know how you don't want anyone you don't know extremely well to watch Lyla, but I'd make back up plans with someone from MDO or church. She will be okay and hopefully you'll only be separated for a night at the very most depending on the timing of your labor. Just do what you can and keep praying.

stacymh's picture
Joined: 03/16/10
Posts: 1807

I am so sorry to hear of your stresses, Anna. I will be sending prayers your way. Maybe someone from your church could help you set up an account for your family. Local radio stations or newspapers could advertise. Good luck, please keep us updated.

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I hope they are able to figure out what is wrong with him and that his health starts to improve in the coming days and weeks. That can be totally stressful on your entire family for sure.

I don't think that asking for donations from people that know your dad from work or church would be a terrible idea. Lots of time people don't even know how they can help in those situations so setting up a way they could donate money and maybe bring over meals for your mom and sister would be a good idea. That could totally help with some living expenses. Try not to stress over the financial aspect of the hospital. There are tons of ways that emergency care can be covered through hospital doners and not having insurance is almost better in a way because outside community agencies often offer financial aid for families that qualify. Plus hospital bills are different than energy or water bills and not a lot happens if you have to put them off for a long time. Also I would help your mom call all her bill agencies and mortgage company or landloard as some companies will work with you to delay payment during situations such as these. Its really hard, but try not to let the $ situation add to the stress you already have about your dad's health. The $ part will all work out even if its hard to see now.

:bigarmhug: Again, I'm so sorry about everything you guys are going through right now.

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

I am so sorry your dad is still not better Sad That is a lot of stress to be going through. I agree that you should check with your church/your parents church about setting up a way they could donate or help out, I would think they would be happy to help with something like this. And I also agree it would be a good idea to make a back up plan with someone you know from church to watch Lyla-even if it isn't your ideal situation, it will be one less thing to stress about if you have a back-up person.

I hope your dad is able to see a hematologist and come up with some answers soon. :bigarmhug:

butterflykissesx6's picture
Joined: 06/28/07
Posts: 509

Hi Anna - I know I haven't been around much but I've been following your posts on FB and my heart is hurting for you. I know how hard it is to see a loved one with a medical condition that is so uncertain. You have so much going on right now yourself....just remember to take care of yourself. I know easier said than done. Sending tons of prayers for healing your way (((((hugs)))))

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

It looks like the doctors in Corpus Christi are going to refuse to take him on because he has no insurance. They are going to let my dad die because they are worried about their pocketbooks.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Oh Anna! Is there anywhere else perhaps? :grouphug:

Joined: 06/22/10
Posts: 5602

:bighug:

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

And here's one for you, this is their mission statement.

[h=3]Mission[/h]CHRISTUS Advocacy and Public Policy works within the community to extend the healing ministry of Jesus Christ. We do this by encouraging our associates to become civic-minded individuals educated in the public policy arena and serving as the premier health care resource for local, state and federal policy makers. We are advocates for the underserved!

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Or not. *sigh*

KittyRN's picture
Joined: 02/03/09
Posts: 1260

Anna, maybe you could try to get in contact with the administrator of that hospital? Ask how they can refuse him according to their mission statement. Threaten to go the the press!

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

"KittyRN" wrote:

Anna, maybe you could try to get in contact with the administrator of that hospital? Ask how they can refuse him according to their mission statement. Threaten to go the the press!

Well the thing is that they didn't actually say it. They just conveniently don't have space for him. My mom asked if it was because he's uninsured, and the doctor she was speaking to didn't deny it. But I think I'm going to get in touch with the hospital. Doesn't it go against the Hippocratic oath for a doctor to refuse treatment based on someone's financial status?

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Big huge hugs!

If you feel like crawling under the covers and crying, do it! I wish I could come take care of Lyla for you while you bring little Kole into the world.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

"TiggersMommy" wrote:

Big huge hugs!

If you feel like crawling under the covers and crying, do it! I wish I could come take care of Lyla for you while you bring little Kole into the world.

Big ditto to the bolded! I hate that I'm leaving TX and a reasonable drive from you. If I wasn't moving, I'd go down there to help you out in a heartbeat even if it was just to distract you for a bit. :bigarmhug:

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

So sorry Anna! It is horrible the way insurance (or lack thereof) drives the quality of care. Hospitals are not supposed to turn away patients regardless of ability to pay. Of course, we know it happens anyway. (((Hugs)))

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

I"m so sorry Anna. That is just horrible and wrong of them.

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

So my dad's condition has remained basically the same. They haven't been able to improve anything, though some of his vitals had begun to look a little better. However, as a trade-off he started collecting fluid in his lungs again, so they have to drain that.

But my mom called me a bit ago to let me know that he's being transferred! Yahoo They found a doctor willing to take him on and help him at one of the Corpus Christi hospitals! I am so very much hoping and praying that this is going to be the change that leads to his recovery!

KittyRN's picture
Joined: 02/03/09
Posts: 1260

That's great about the transfer Anna! I'll keep praying for him!

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

I'm so glad that there is a spot for him with one of the doctors! Great news!
Sorry to hear that his condition has not improved on its own though. Hope this is the step in the right direction toward his healing.

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

"AnnaRO" wrote:

So my dad's condition has remained basically the same. They haven't been able to improve anything, though some of his vitals had begun to look a little better. However, as a trade-off he started collecting fluid in his lungs again, so they have to drain that.

But my mom called me a bit ago to let me know that he's being transferred! Yahoo They found a doctor willing to take him on and help him at one of the Corpus Christi hospitals! I am so very much hoping and praying that this is going to be the change that leads to his recovery!

Sorry he's not improving yet, but so happy that he is getting moved!

Joined: 06/22/10
Posts: 5602

that's great that he is being transferred!

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

I'm really glad that he's getting transferred. I hope this doctor is able to help him get back to leading a normal life. Smile

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

I'm so glad he's getting transferred. I hope the new doctor will be able to get him on the recovery track so he can get better.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

I hope the new docs can improve his condition. :bigarmhug:

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

Has he been moved yet? Any updates?

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

It's not good. Looks like he is not going to make it. The doctors told my mom the night before last that he likely wouldn't survive the night, he did but he's not responsive any more and his organs are shutting down. He's currently on dialysis, but the doctors have said his chances for survival at this point are very slim.

I don't think my dad is going to get to meet his first grandson next month. Life is so unfair sometimes.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

I'm so sorry Anna. I was really hoping and praying he'd improve. :grouphug:

laurensmitty1982's picture
Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 1117

I am so sorry Anna.

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

:bigarmhug: I am so sorry to hear this Anna.

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

I'm so sorry Anna! :bigarmhug:

My dad didn't get to meet his first grandson either, they would've loved each other so much. It's been 8 years since I lost my dad, and not a day goes by that I don't miss him so much. I hope you can get more time with him Anna!