:bigarmhug: It will get better, I know that doesn't help now. I've never thought about looking at it from the perspective of "but you are keeping the kids alive," but it's true. You are doing a wonderful job with your kiddos, even if they are hard on you sometimes. And I'm also on the side of "sex? what's that?" I've heard rumors, but I think it's an urban legend. My house is never at top quality anymore. Sometimes during the week I try to dust a room and pick up that area. Maybe one area a night and try to do it a couple of nights. Dinner gets made and I clean up the kitchen area nightly, that is about it. I'm about to get to the point where I want to strangle my DH for not helping more. We may have a "meeting about it tonight." Usually I only get like this when I am PMSing, but it's bothering me still, so we will have to talk about it. He will help when I ask, but I feel like I should not have to ask for help keeping a house together that he lives in. Oh well, men.
Oh, and Leigh, that picture is just precious!! I would have been encouraging her too.
DH is really good about telling me that as long as the kids are cared for then the important stuff is taken care of. But when I see pictures of other people's houses that are all clean and picked up looking, I can't help but feel like a failure.
The realtors office called to set up a showing for Friday morning. I will need every minute of today and tomorrow to get the house in order for that. And when the call that far in advance, I feel extra pressure to make sure the house looks nice.
That's great that he lets you know that. When I see pictures and people's houses look clean, I tell myself that the pic is of only one section of a room that probably just doesn't have any crap thrown there. Or they move it to take the picture. Standing behind the photographer is a pile of everything. Or I may just think they are lucky enough to have a person to come by and clean. Wouldn't that be a treat?
Good luck getting the house ready. I bet that is alot of pressure on you.
I take very strategic pictures to show off as little mess as possible. I'm sure others do too! In fact I just took a pic of pitiful looking Aiden making sure you saw mostly him and the fridge in the background b/c I'm still in PJs and the floors look so bad it's noticeable in pics.
DH tried telling me all the housework was my "job" last weekend. I told him growing a baby and keeping his son alive and well was my job. The rest he should be thankful for.
Anna, maybe I'll take a picture of my kitchen or living room and post it for you. Or better yet, my laundry room. Then maybe you'll feel better.
Yep. It could be the cutest picture in the world, but if it shows all my clutter, no one's going to see it!!
Oh god my laundry room is AWFUL right now. Complete with a floor covered in cat liter since the pan is in there.
And crop is my friend.
Um, yeah. People don't take pictures of the messy part! Or the bad moments where their toddlers are freaking out and pooping on the floor. People only take photos of the GOOD moments, and like Stacy said, you should see what's behind the photographer... Notice how all of my pictures are either REALLY CLOSE UP or outside. And the ones that aren't are aimed at a cleaner part of the room. Also you can't tell in the background of a photo how many stains and crumbs are on that carpet, and how badly the shelf back there needs dusting, etc. etc.
And I totally agree with Jackie on the DH just makes it worse, too...not that he doesn't help some, but he makes more mess than he cleans. It's not so much his fault, but for example when he's around he cooks big, complicated meals that require a lot of cleanup, so all our evening pickup time is devoted to that. When he was gone, I ate salads tossed together from precut stuff, and cleanup took about six seconds, so I was able to keep everything else cleaner too and still spend less time actually cleaning overall. It was nice, not gonna lie!
I'm sorry you're feeling so down right now. I do agree that it sounds like you need a break. Dealing with two littles mostly on your own is a LOT. I get kind of crazy just hanging out alone with Adair cooped up inside because of this heat for three hours every afternoon...by the time DH comes home most days we are both a little crazy for a change of pace, and if he is more than a couple of minutes later than I expect, I get PISSED. (Can I just say how excited I am for the days when we can go play outside without melting and/or getting eaten alive by mosquitoes again????) I can't imagine dealing with two babies alone for days at a time regularly! You're doing awesome just keeping all three of your basic needs met. I hope you can find a way to get some kind of relief from the stress of it, though. Just try not to add to your load by beating yourself up over the fact that it's stressing you out in the first place. You're human.
:bighug: Anna, you need some help. And by help, I mean you need someone to give you a break. You need someone to watch the kids for you for an hour so you can just take some time to relax, go for a walk alone, take sometime to breath. Is there anyone around who can do that? Or can you hire someone, even a teenager, to just come over and watch them in the house while you clean for an hour or two?
Yes, you absolutely need a break. Some 'me' time just to do the things you like to do. Even if it's just take a walk sans kids each evening.
I also agree that maybe it's time to give PTing a little break, just for your sanity. Fewer potty messes to clean up each day might be the difference between an ok day, and a day where you feel like you're drowning. Waiting even a few months and starting again might make all the difference in the world. If you're feeling frustrated, she is probably feeling frustrated, too, so it might be good for both of you to get a fresh start. And it might even help you reclaim a bit of your sanity for the time being.
Ha, I had that same thought last night!
I take very strategic pictures to show off as little mess as possible. I'm sure others do too! In fact I just took a pic of pitiful looking Aiden making sure you saw mostly him and the fridge in the background b/c I'm still in PJs and the floors look so bad it's noticeable in pics. DH tried telling me all the housework was my "job" last weekend. I told him growing a baby and keeping his son alive and well was my job. The rest he should be thankful for.
OMG that picture really is pitiful looking. poor little guy
our kitchen floor is disgusting. We mop it once a week, and it gets swept every night (by dh )but literally 5 minutes later it looks nasty again. i don't even know where most of the stains come from! i probably do have photos of a dirty house, i just don't post them
He did sleep for 45 minutes back there. I did some dishes, dusted one room, and picked up the play space. But now my legs are D.O.N.E. Squats with a toddler on your back is dumb btw.
Woah, I can't even handle squats with no toddler on my back, much less PG! Silly woman. Go rest!
(That picture makes me so sad. Poor baby!!!)
Awww....poor Aiden. He does look miserable in the picture. Squats? Wow, just pg squats are a workout.
How else was I gonna get the toys off the floor?! I already can't breathe when I lean over (not that that works with a sleeping toddler on the back).
How to tell my child is still not back up and going normally: He only hate 1/2 a banana and half of his yogurt for breakfast. For lunch he finished the yogurt and had half a fruit cup. Kid can usually devour a whole banana, all of the yogurt, and then asks for more (and then eats a waffle or toast) just for breakfast! I'm happy he's eating period though because it's been a struggle to get him to eat much all week.
Daycare Costs More than College in 35 States? Wow! | Baby Cheapskate
Yes! When we get down about how the house looks, I always remind DH that some day we won't have kids at home any more, and the house will look perfect. And we'll be bored! And most certainly we will miss these days. So I just try to do what I can when I can, and enjoy these moments that I'll never get back.
Yes, yes, yes!!!!
That was a great link, Jackie. Very true. I try to remind myself of that, but I guess I need to try harder.
...Yep, just did the math. The full time tuition for kids under 2 at our daycare is just about equal to in-state undergrad tuition here at the University.
Wow. Really can't wait until kindergarten.
I also like the short version I saw once on one of those wooden plaques at a kitschy diner with a gift shop: "A clean house is a sign of a wasted life."
Jackie, I really can't even look at that picture of Aiden, it's making me feel so sympathy-bad. He looks exactly like I feel when I have a fever! Some people's bodies handle it well, and some DON'T. (My mom remembers a friend of hers saying she couldn't tell when her son was sick except by taking his temp when he felt hot to the touch--didn't slow him down at all!) I am definitely in the fever=misery camp, and I think your poor little guy is too!
Yep, he is definitely in the changed behavior when sick camp. So am I!!! lol.
I thought that clean house post was perfectly fitting for today.
It was. Maybe we should all take pictures of our worst rooms and post to make each other feel better.
Remember the triplet mom I told y'all about? I knew one had to go back to NICU recently, but she just shared the story today via her blog.
Warning: It'll probably make you cry, but the baby is slowly improving.sanctimomious: Lucky
I guess I could, I know you ladies wouldn't judge. It's bad that my living room is the worst, it's the main room, you think I could keep that one picked up. Toys cover the entire room, crumbs all over the floor, and DH loves to leave his boots by the recliner.
Discovered Aiden had pooped when he approached me with a handful of poop he scooped out of his diaper. :puke2:
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! The WORST!
Kid is lucky that it's not the 1st tri for me.
I posted last night, but it musn't have gone through before Ronin cut the power to the computer.
My house is feral, there is no resembalance to clean most of the time and you totally do not want a photo of hubby's room of doom.
Poor Aiden, I wish I had a big sooky boy when he was sick, he just destroys the house a little more slowly when sick with short bursts of sooky/quiet time.
Melbourne supermum pregnant with quintuplets without IVF - Yahoo!7 News
Off to another day at work, lets see if it ends up 3 in a row without a real lunch break
I'm brave. I present: My Living Room In Its Present State
Wow thats clean compared to mine. Mine currently has fabric and paper scraps everywhere because I was cutting out material for a pattern last night and it was late when i finished and couldn't be bothered to clean up. I'll do it tonight when i get home from work.
I should point out that you can't see the kids' toy storage area, or the diaper changing area, where all my unstuffed CDs are currently tossed in a heap. Plus multiply this mess throughout the entire house, and imagine piles on laundry on every sitting surface, like there was yesterday.
I would have shown my masterbedroom, but I went all crazy pregnant lady on it a week ago, and it actually looks decent at the moment. Since we're having a homebirth, I have declared my bedroom and bathroom to be my sanctuary, and have made it my life's mission to keep it picked up and toy free. We'll see how long it lasts.
i'm currently on vacation this week so i am home and it doesn't count. During a work week my sink is piled high with dishes
that doesn't look so bad, looks like your girls are having lots of fun
I agree--looks comfy and lived in to me!
Jackie :vomit: !!
Adair got a bite at school today. The usual suspect. SIGH. Really I just hope she doesn't learn it!
Clean, just cluttered from kids.
My worst room (DH won't let me show the master which is really bad though lol) is totally due to parents!
Wish you could actually see the cat liter everywhere but it doesn't show up too well. lol. (Yes, that huge ball thing is the cat pan.)
And it's flooded out into the hallway.....
Messy room contest? I'm in! Now I'm kinda bummed that I've been cleaning all day, not that you can really tell, but just imagine it before I cleaned some of it up! I've got several angles for your viewing enjoyment.
Here's the living area:
and into the kitchen area. .
And here's what it looks like on the real estate listing. . . and what it needs to get back to.
Funny part is that my diapers are all stuffed and organized in the cabinets all nice and neat, but I have to change DS up on the counter with him surrounded by clothes. I had to make space to change him yesterday.
I like how you gave us a few angels Anna.
That's not bad Anna! It's just laundry and kids stuff, normal for a stay at home mom with a baby and a toddler! My house is always messier on Tuesday/Friday when I'm home with the kids. It's easier to keep it clean on Mon/Wed/Thurs because the kids are only there for an hour in the morning and an hour and a half in the evening to make messes, and that includes breakfast, dinner and bath so even less time to make mess! LOL
Talking about DH's making more mess than help, I had pancakes with the kids tonight, but DH didn't feel like them, so he's making dinner now, eggs and bacon, fine, but will he do the pans that he's dirtied, no, absolutely not. At least he put his plate in the dishwasher....*sigh*
OH yes because the plate in the dishwasher was the hard part!!! lol.
Mel. You can't see the spots and stains on the floor and I'd already swept and cleaned up a lot today. It never ends. Tell your DH he wins a pat on the back he has to self -administer for putting the plate in the dishwasher. My dh will add a dish to the dishwasher and the joke that he helped. He's really very good about cleaning up after himself. A bit OCD about it honestly.
Jackie. Your space looks clean to me- just laundry. And isn't laundry in your house Dh's job?
Well, the actual laundry part is DH. Putting up mine and Aiden's is my job. And the sheets is mine. And the dirty bibs, rags, and cloth napkins......
And the floors are disgusting in there. I wear shoes when I change DS's diaper and don't let him walk in there - stupid cat!!! Can't get the grossness to show up through an iPhone pic. lol
Master is awful. DH's dresser is stacked about 2 feet high all across it! It's so messy that I don't spend any time up there ever. Which means it never gets cleaned. :roll:
ha ha, he gets all defensive if i say he's not helping...thinks that mowing the lawn once a week, weed wacking(sp?) once a week and taking the garbage out to the curb once a week are equal to the cleanup I do every day. Whatever man, keep deluding yourself! LOL Oh and then he's like "I cook almost every night too" - and I'm like "I do dishes EVERY night". And who does most of the childcare? He's actually agreed that I do at least 75% of that...and umm I work outside the home too 3 days a week and from home 2 days, so we aren't talking that it makes sense because I'm just home more.... Can you tell it's been up for discussion lately?! ha ha
In other news one of my best friends is Pregnant! So happy for her!!!