Race Question.

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Coconut2's picture
Joined: 01/10/07
Posts: 443
Race Question.

Vincent has a friend in school that insists she is going to marry him, it is so cute. She is black and has recently told him that they can't get married because she isn't white like him. He doesn't seemed phased by it and hasn't really said anything but she is upset by their color difference. Her mother is amazing and I know it isn't something coming from her, seems to be something she just happened upon herself. I don't want Vincent or her to feel like they can't be friends or one day marry Wink because they are different races. What would you say? How would you approach this delicate race discussion especially at this age? I have never had to deal with this, not even with his big sister, so I am not sure how to approach it. I did tell them that it didn't matter what color their skin was it was what was on the inside that was important. She still seems to have a lot of questions, not so much Vincent, but her mother and I want to discuss it together with the kids so they both have an understanding.

mommycarrie's picture
Joined: 09/07/06
Posts: 358

It's really a shame that someone so young (the little girl) has been taught that. Sad Drew likes to play The Sims, really he just likes to make the families of people and build them a house. The parents/children/spouses area always different colors with no thought about it. In his mind they are all a family, no matter their skin color. Drew also doesn't know what "black" and "white" are, he usually says someone has peach skin or brown skin. Maybe we are just lucky.

Prejudice is real in our society so I understand why people might be cautious about their child being put through extra stress in an inter racial relationship, but I hope that over the years it will become less and less of an issue. I wouldn't mind if my children brought home someone who looked different than them, although I will say there are some cultural differences that I might be nervous about. Particularly if my daughter wanted to marry into a family that was from a society where women are "below" the man. I think equality in the relationship is pretty important, so I might be nervous about that.

As for our extended family, one side would not mind a bit if the kids date whoever they want, but the other side would make a BIG deal of it.

Amy_&_Eva's picture
Joined: 08/23/07
Posts: 2378

I agree with Carrie, and I don't have much to add since I don't have experience with this yet (Eva just refers to the shades of the skin like Carrie said), but I wanted to add that I think it's awesome that the girl's mother is also wanting to discuss it thoughtfully and together with you all.