Explaining loss to kiddos?

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MamaPoose's picture
Joined: 11/03/10
Posts: 153
Explaining loss to kiddos?

I lost one of our cats on Friday Sad He was the sweetest kitty in the world, and I'm pretty down about the loss, but I know it was what best for my sweet Boober.

DH and I buried him in the back yard, and got a cement kitty to mark his grave. I told Izzy that Boober was sleeping in the dirt, and that the marker was his kitty. She pushed our other cat away from the cement cat and said, "Red, not for you. Boober's kitty." And she's come up to me a few times and asked if Boober was napping. I guess she's not really acting upset by it, but I don't think she understands it all either. Breaks my heart, though, and I hope she doesn't start looking and asking for him.

Has anyone else had to explain the loss of a pet to their kiddos? What helped them?

lizzib45's picture
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 957

Oh poor kitty and your family. My mom actually had to put down one of their dogs last thursday. My first thought was how tommy would react but he didnt spend the last 4 days there so when he went back this morning he thankfully didnt notice she wasnt there. Helps to have two other dogs and 5 cats to chase around. Hope she doesnt remember for too much longer. I really have no advice, but hugs

gardenbug's picture
Joined: 03/12/07
Posts: 2025

This worked for my daughter. Possibly for your family?
The Tenth Good Thing About Barney: Amazon.ca: Judith Viorst, Erik Blegvad: Books

MamaPoose's picture
Joined: 11/03/10
Posts: 153

I think Izzy's going to be okay, although the book looks like it could be useful.

She has asked about him a few times, but she seems okay when I say we won't be able to play with him any more... she doesn't seem sad.

On the other hand, every time she says his name I get all teared up and have to try my best to keep it together so she doesn't see me being a big mess. I feel pretty silly still being so bummed about it, but he was a very special kitty, and he has been a big comfort to me while dealing with some family issues over the past few months.

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

I think it's perfectly fine to tell her that her kitty died. They should learn about death and I think having a pet helps with that. Just that the kitty got sick (or whatever happened) and died and that he's gone now but we can remember the good times we had with him. Or something like that. I think if they learn the term "died" early on, it will help and just remember it's not a bad word!