Potty Training scares me....

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lizzib45's picture
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 957
Potty Training scares me....

Eeek.... it appears out of the blue Tommy is showing signs of being ready to PT. How the heck do I do it?

Tommy loves to be outside and in the water- pool or hose- so my mom lets him run around naked afterwards in the back yard (he thinks its hilarious). Well I guess the last few days he has been peeing on his own. Like squatting and grabbing himself to pee and stopping mid stream so to speak and going again. Today my mom saw him peeing in the grass and she said tommy dont pee outside lets go inside and get a diaper.... so he stopped- mid stream went inside and squatted in the living room and peed. yes my mom told him no, but I think he is fascinated that he can control it. And he has told us since almost a year old when he has poo'd. So I am going to buy him a little potty this weekend. but are these the right signs? Should we just see how it goes or really actively work on PT? I was not planning on PT'ing until 2.5 since I hear boys take longer and he showed zero interest. Clearly I am not prepared and again have no clue how to do it!!! So spill it ladies... lets share some info!

MamaPoose's picture
Joined: 11/03/10
Posts: 153

Potty Training scares me, too, and Izzy is such a scaredy cat that we haven't made much headway (but I really haven't pushed). We have a training potty in our bathroom, but she refuses to sit on it, and cries if I try to sit her on it. We bought a potty book last week, and she has a lot of fun reading it with me and pushing the flush button, but I don't think it's helped her to be any more excited about the big girl potty. She will sometimes tell me if she's pooped, but rarely complains about being wet. I just figured that meant she wasn't ready yet... but it makes me feel bad when I hear that my friend's 1.5 year old daughter is already PTing very successfully, with few accidents.

Good luck, and let us know what he thinks of his training potty!

led082607's picture
Joined: 11/17/06
Posts: 47

I don't really have much advice because I just sort of wing it!

Parker was just about 2.5 when we started PTing. We did the whole reward thing and gave him an M&M when he went pee in the potty. He caught on very quick, but we had a huge issue with him pooping on the potty. He was scared of it for some reason and it took him almost a year longer to poop train. It was terrible and incredibly frustrating.

With Madelyn, she did it all herself! We would occasionally put her on the potty and she would go. Then she would occasionally ask to go potty and we would let her. She was then getting to the point that she would get upset when she peed or pooped in her diaper and wanted it changed ASAP. She was then getting to the point where she would ask constantly to go potty and wouldn't do it in her diaper, so I put her in underwear and the rest is history! She was waking up every morning dry, so we've been going without a diaper at night and she's doing great. No accidents at all, she's loving the underwear, it's just great! So easy and she did it all herself! We didn't even really do a thing.

I heard recently that potty training is easier with kids who use cloth diapers. I don't know how accurate that is at all, but we didn't cloth diaper with Parker, but we did cloth diaper with Madelyn and we are with Charlotte as well, so who knows! Either way, I'm hoping Charlotte is just as easy as Madelyn was!

It really depends on the kid, but I would just go with it. See how he does with it. I'm a firm believer in not pushing them if they are not ready. If he's showing some signs and acting like he may be interested, then go a little further with it.

We used the little potty with Parker and we also had one of those little seats that go on the big potty, but after he was potty trained, we bought one of these and it's been fantastic. This is what Madelyn learned on, so we don't even have to deal with cleaning a little potty. http://www.amazon.com/Xpress-Trainer-One-Real-Round-Standard/dp/B0012BWUDQ/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1337974755&sr=8-8

Good luck!!

lizzib45's picture
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 957

Thanks Ladies. Going to see what Target has tomorrow to see what options. I just am not sure if we are going to do a small potty where he can sit down on his own or do the seat on the adult toilet. I am just not sure which is the better way. I think we will just try and see just how interested he really is. He has been grabbing himself lately which usually means he poo'd and we find he hasnt. So I am now thinking he is doing that when he pees. He has never cared if he had a wet diaper or not - he still doesnt but think he now knows when he is doing it. How do u night train? I feel so overwhelmed. Must find some books on it

kimlambert's picture
Joined: 05/18/09
Posts: 62

Noah is 28 mos and was showing interest here and there. For about a week or two he was using the big boy potty (we bought an Elmo smaller seat for the actual toilet) not every time he went but maybe twice a day (he would only poop hasn't peed EVER) I went out and bought him big boy skivvies and that pretty much broke the cycle... he has absolutely NO INTEREST at all now... I also think you should let them move at their own pace. We're back to square one with it but I'm OK with that... btw it scares the crap outta me too LOL (no pun intended)

Ladybugsteph's picture
Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 2977

When Jackson turned two, I took the diapers off and let him run around without anything on from the waist down. We had a couple of accidents on the floor, but he quickly caught on that he needed to go on the potty. I give him a mini M&M for peeing, and chocolate milk for pooping (he's obsessed with chocolate milk and it's a big reward for him). He never has an accident when he's naked waist down.

My issue now is trying to get him to wear something and not go pee or poop. I'm starting off small with some underwear, and it's kind of working. He'll start to go, but stop himself. Sometimes he tells me he needs to go, other times he just holds it and I notice later. I was thinking of moving to only wearing a pair of shorts or something, since it's not so "tight" on him, and seeing what happens with that.

I'd love to be done with pull-ups during the day. Some diaper-free time before we have #3 would be awesome!!

zobi's picture
Joined: 12/24/07
Posts: 607

They are some god signs Sara....dont be disheartened if it doesnt go to plan though, theres no rush....If it doesnt work out just leave it for a bit and reapproach it again in a few weeks, I find that if you try to push it can have the opposite affect sometimes....Sometimes you feel like its 1 step forward 2 steps back....can be frustrating....
Just remember that as much as its toilet training Tommy, its also training you....If you are going to start it, consistancy is te key...Start with 30min toilet visits and stretch the time out as you can....BUT YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER TO TAKE HIM....thats why I say its training yourself....Almost need a timer HAHAHAHA.....
Ive toilet trained 4 kids so far and they have ALL been different...Ive never done a potty though, I like the idea of just training on the big toilet with a seat insert, that way you dont have to retrain from potty to toilet.....
Charlies much the same as Tommy, he can stop and start when ever he wants...hes been asking to go on the toilet, but I think its more just a novelty at this point, but he squeezes out whatever he can each time....Im just waiting for the warmer weather to come (washing wise) with you having summer on your doorstep, its a good time to look at giving it a go....HEY we all want to be done with nappies dont we????...

Im dreading the toilet training starting here, because I also have Molly to train at the same time!!!....if not at the same time, basically as soon as Ive got Charlie sorted I will have to start with Molly!!!.....

lizzib45's picture
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 957

Yeah so far I think its more of a novelty that he knows how to control it. he is now grabbing his crotch when he pees so I think its going to come sooner rather than later. We bought him a bjorn potty today at TRU. We definitely arent pushing it. For him all things you push, its the exact opposite. My mom is going to try the potty this week and see how it goes before I buy another one. \
And I glad I am not the only one scared to PT. Its very daunting!

MissyJ's picture
Joined: 01/31/02
Posts: 3218

:lurk: Hope you don't mind my peeking in. I'm going through this (again) with my little one!

It sounds like he is definitely showing signs of interest! Smile Hopefully, it will continue to go smoothly -- for both of you!

If you'd like to read more on the topic we have a TON of "potty training" articles available! Here are a few:

Top Ten Tricks to Successful Potty Training

Four Signs Your Toddler's Not Ready for Potty Training

Potty Training 101

Good luck!


Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

My daughter was so easy to pt, and I didn't know how easy until I started pt my son. I did not even start with him until he was almost 3.5, because there was just no interest. And even then, I think it was too soon. It was a 1.5-2yr battle. We are both super stubborn and butted heads a ton. Poop took even longer, like 3.5yrs. And my dd night trained before she day trained, just stopped having wet dipes in the morning at like 19mo, started pt a few months later. My ds is 7 and just in the last few months has outgrown the pull-ups. I really don't know that there is much you can do night training, they either get it or they don't. I tried not using the pullups at night, because ppl say they need to feel the wetness, but my son is such a deep sleeper he wouldn't wake ever when wet. Even in the morning being soaking wet did not bother him. So I decided to save myself the laundry and buy the pullups. Smile

So in the midst of pt woes with my ds I find out I am expecting twin boys! I was immediately worried about training two more boys! Yikes! But so far so good. We are not pushing it a ton, I offer at least once a day for them to go, and started with them getting a small treat for sitting on the potty (1 skittle, etc) and 2 skittles for producing something in the potty. Smile Now they just get one if they actually go. I heard another twin mom say her twin boys were easier to train than her single boy because of the competition, and I can definitely see that. Bram doesn't care much to go, and won't go until he sees Wyatt get his treat, then he wants to go. It works well. lol. I'm still not ready to push it a ton though. Smile

and I honestly loved naked training. We did that with my dd and it went much quicker. Naked=made it to the potty almost every time, undies= accident almost every single time. So summer is a great time to train. Smile I will probably be training the boys and myself (you are soooo right Nat!) very soon. Smile

lizzib45's picture
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 957

Thanks for the articles Missy!!
Sounds like we are at beginning of being ready. I forgot to ask my mom if she showed him his potty today. We got him the Bjorn potty. The others were very fussy for my liking. So we will see if he will sit. I think he might go on there if he can see his pee pee come out. lol. We shall see what tomorrow brings!

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

My DS is in underwear all day apart from sleep time (and on weekends if we have to go in town). We have varied results, but have days with lmost no accidents. He uses a toilet insert, but we did start with the potty and I found transitioning easy. I also don't use any kind of food reward, if he does a pee or poop he gets to flush and lately because he is obsessed with toilet paper he gets one square if he pees or poops. He has also started saying wee wee when he wants to go. Daycare and I just have a routine of asking regularly and putting him on the toilet often or when he asks and it's working well. It also helps for me I have the full support of his day care, they transition into his age group room around 15 months and if parents are happy to they will start toileting not too long after that.

UpBeachMom's picture
Joined: 11/09/10
Posts: 838

So I'm not even close to this with Colin, but with Georgia we went cold turkey and never turned back. She wasn't showing a lot of "signs", but she was 2 1/2 and I wanted to train her before Colin came.

We started on a Saturday so that I could control the process (I am not a SAHM). Every 20 minutes I asked her if she had to pee, and put her on. If she went, great, if not that was fine too. She went through about 7 pairs of underwear the first day, and maybe 5 the second day (we played outside a lot that weekend!). By Monday she was having 2-3 accidents and by Friday she was having about one.

For me, it was sticking to the plan once we started. The only thing we switched up was night time. At first she was actually good at night, but then she started having accidents (she would wake up but just couldn't hold it long enough to make it to the toilet). So, we gave her "night time underwear", which were pullups. Other than that, she wore underwear all the time.

We did have a problem with poo - but it was that she couldn't make it in time. From the time she said "I have to poo" until the time it started coming out, we had about 15 seconds...pretty hard to run a 2 1/2 year old to the potty while 8 months pregnant, in 15 seconds!

We also had a potty seat on the big toilet, but a portable one to take outside with us, or to keep in the kitchen (we only have 1 bathroom, which is on the second floor...and again I was 8 months pregnant!)

Anyways, HTH!

lizzib45's picture
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 957

My mom said so far he hasnt wanted to sit on it. Wondering how hard it would be to train up to pee standing. But since I still wasnt ready to him to be ready, I am ok going slow. So he sees it and we talk about it with him. Just crazy all of a sudden he was showing signs. funny kids!

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

I'm a big "follow their lead" kindov girl when it comes to PT'ing. I did this with both of my others and it made it a breeze (like, DD just demanded underwear one day at 22 months, and DS was 29 months). I was shocked to have DS at the pool yesterday (he just turned 2 this past weekend) and he used the bathroom at our pool for #2! This was out of no where, he went when my others were going after I had told him to be sure not to go in the pool if he was wearing a diaper. Sooooo, I guess perhaps we are moving along to PT'ing a little sooner than I had anticipated Smile Peeing always came first, it was when #2 happened that DS1 was really ready, I don't know if ds2 will be the same or different, I guess we will see.

I think if you let it be a natural thing and just let them lead the way it makes it easy on them, which makes it easy on you Smile Good luck! Sara, we have the Bjorn potty too, I agree that they have some very fancy/over the top ones out there, that one seemed nice and simple to me which is why we went with it. Both boys started out sitting down for the first few months, I can't remember how long it took for DS1 to transition to standing, but it was at least a few months. DS2 is still sitting.

zobi's picture
Joined: 12/24/07
Posts: 607

Sitting to stand was a long time here....I like the sitting no mess option Smile plus he was too short to reach OVER the edge of the loo, I dont know if yours are the same height as ours....But it was just a natural progression, he saw daddy doing it like that, so one day he wanted to too....We had a few set back with accidents standing (poor wee boy was a bit lacking in the length department and struggled to get it far enough over the toilet edge) but he has it totally sussed now... Smile AND he is super clean, no drips or drops on the floor Smile AND his aim is top notch Smile There was also a stage that he was leaving it too late to go and not getting the seat up before starting OR just forgetting to put the seat up, but I fixed that with a big note slipped into a plastic bag, taped to the inside of the toilet lid saying "Liam, SEAT UP" with a little picture of the toilet witht he seat up, so he understood....IT WORKED!!! Smile So remember that one for future problems Smile

reeveslady's picture
Joined: 11/23/05
Posts: 1423

We have that seat that Laurie has, and it works fine for my little potty trainer, but my older boys tend to lift only the small cover part (exposing the potty seat) instead of the whole potty lid and getting urine all over the potty portion. The boys both trained and were fully using the potty for everything at 3 years of age. Eve has been peeing just fine in the potty but has yet to poo in there, so those are the only messes we've had to deal with. They all have had remarkable nighttime holding abilities, so we lucked out wonderfully there.

I agree that asking often helps the process. I'm terribly guilty about forgetting to ask every hour and a half or so. As for the boys transitioning from sitting to standing, I think it took them about a half a year. They were very into standing up when they saw their friends were doing it.

lizzib45's picture
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 957

HE WENT PEE PEE ON THE POTTY!!! hehehe so excited. So we are off tomorrow to get one for our house and I am thinking he is ready. so we shal see how this week goes. I think we are going to put him on the potty every hour and see how that works?

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

Yay that he went! Try it out at your house and see how it goes! Smile

As to standing, I am a huge fan of sitting first because aim is not always awesome, and like Nat said, they are not always tall enough to reach and length wise and such. Smile My ds refused to go standing for the longest time, seriously, half way through kindergarten. Smile I did not mind a bit. Smile

lizzib45's picture
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 957

He is loving his potty! Seriously he thinks its awesome. I think its still more fun cuz the minute we ask if he needs to go peepee on the potty he grins and runs to the potty. its really super cute. kinda waiting for a dry diaper or two before really pushing it. for now he loves it and isnt afraid- he trys poo'ing too. so cute! but umm kinda gross cleaning it up. but whatever

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

So great that he initiated everything! My son was a PITA to pt and I *still* have to tell him to go because he is frantically dancing around! He still wears Pull Ups at night too.

On the other hand, Noel is almost day trained! She started undressing herself from the waist down in the spring when she was outside a lot and one day she came inside and said she had to go potty and sat down and pooped on it! I find that I have to be diligent in putting her in underwear at home because if I leave her in a diaper she will just go in it and not tell me. I even put her in underwear when we were shopping today and she did great.

I would say if he's interested, go with it! Once they learn that they can control it, I think that is a huge sign of readiness.

Joined: 09/02/07
Posts: 124

My son showed a few signs at his third birthday and went for a few weeks when told and then it crashed and burned. Dr told us not even to talk about it to him. Then a few weeks ago he kept saying he was itchy. I assumed it was due to the diaper. I just put him in underwear. It took about a week and then now he tells us every time. Still working on poop. If he has an accident I tell him "it happens. Let's get you dry.". And don't make a big deal.

I'll tell u what everyone told me and I hated. Let it happen. That's exactly what I did and finally he will be FOUR in sept and is almost trained.

My 18 mo old likes the potty but won't actually go. So we sit her on there for fun sometimes.

Good luck. I found this to be the most stressful thing do far. Not to mention the laundry ! But it is worth it.

lizzib45's picture
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 957

Yeah we dont push it. I offer in the AM after PJs before getting dressed, and my mom offers throughout the day. I offer right before bath time. But he is in a funky right now. My sister, BIL and nephew just moved in with my parents for a few months while BIL does training. So Tommy is not used ot sharing his nonna and papa. So he is super dooper clingy! so we have backed off but still letting him lead the way. I have the whole week of his Bday off so might try it more then and see how it goes. I am not stressing.

girlisrad's picture
Joined: 04/24/07
Posts: 1587

YAY! I think you are doing a great job with it!