I've been posting short messages the last few days from my ipad in the hospital. I want to apologize for not updating on Kerri's L&D quicker. Here is my story of my living nightmare this week.
WARNING, TMI, a bit graphic and long.
My flow had been light since I had the big clot on the 11th. By this past weekend It was turning reddish brown and was very light - like spotting at times. I thought maybe I was done a bit early because of the big clots I had passed (2).
Sunday night/monday morning I fell asleep on the recliner with Orion on my chest. I woke up around 230am and felt a gush between my legs. At first I thought I had peed myself. But it kept gushing. I put Orion in his bassinet beside me and started going upstairs to the bathroom. Then I realized my hands had blood all over them. I called my hubby out of bed and he came into the bathroom. I was standing in the tub, holding myself (I passed another large clot) and had blood pouring down my legs and into the tub. He called 911 and the dispatcher had me lie down in the tub. about 5min later the paramedics arrived and helped me out of the tub to walk me down stairs to the stretcher. I fainted in the bathroom and woke up on the floor. They put IVs in me and did my BP (it was low) and pushed a lot of fluid into me and then lifted me into a special chair and carried me downstairs to the stretcher and took me to the hospital. My aunt and uncle who live 5 min down the street were there and watched the boys. I can now say I've seen the inside of an ambulance first hand. Not something I care to repeat!
At the hospital they cleaned me up,I was still bleeding, they took some chunks of clots off of me, and the dr in ER did an internal with a speculum. With 20 stitches and 10 or 11 days pp it hurt like an SOB and I cried when he stuck it in. My blood levels were low still (hemoglobin at 78 ) He said they'd do an ultrasound and consult with the oncall ob/gyn about it. By morning my bleeding was down to a more normal flow.
We had to just wait until the morning when I could get an u/s. I got one around 10ish. The ER dr said it had to be a transvaginal u/s. I was terrified of that. I got into the u/s room and was gripping the bed. The tech pulled out the gel and squirted my belly and I said wait a minute, I was told it would be vaginal... She looked horrified at me and said no, the protocol won't let them do that unless they can't get anything using the wand on my belly. I told her she was my best friend lol. She said they shoudnt be sticking anything in there this soon and I told her about the speculum earlier and she visibly cringed and said that's not right! I agreed.
Results came back to us around noon, said there was still a lot of tissue and clots in there. OB recommended since I had 3 clots already (2 of which were at home and I came running to the hospital) and my hemoglobin being low was a concern, he recommended we do a D+C. In goes the catheter... First time I've had one and NOT been frozen by an epidural first. Not fun. Lol.
I went in for a d+c around 1 pm monday. I remember getting wheeled in and switching to the table, them strapping my arms out on the boards and then I had the mask on and was gone.
I woke up in a busy recovery room. I was still bleeding. Hemoglobin was down to 69. They gave me two units of blood really quickly. Hemoglobin went back up to 80. As I'm lying there I can feel the blood still gushing out of me. At one point the nurses left me and I remember calling out I'm bleeding I'm bleeding... The nurse at some point told me it was ok, they knew that... (Lol)... But all I could think about was the blood. They gave me all kinds of meds and gave me 2 units of plasma to help with the clotting. My BP was all over the place. It would be up and then down and it wouldn't stabilize. They had to give me morphine and ativan to calm down and sleep, I was freaking out in recovery. I asked for a drink and was told no, they told me they might have to take me back into surgery. Luckily that didn't have to happen.
After they finally got things under control they did my hemoglobin again - back down to 66! Because the bleeding was under control and the meds seemed to be working to help the clotting, they sent me up (after 8pm by now) to the post pardom ward where I had 2 more units of blood given to me through the night. That night is a blurry fuzz in my head. I remember being woken up and poked and having to let them compare my wristband and the blood units, and then going back to sleep.
Tuesday I finally got some rest, and got all the tubes taken out of me, and I got to see my boys. They are each with one of the grandparents, and are in good hands. I missed them sooo much, especially Orion. So hard to be away from a newborn for 3 days (going on 4 today). He was in for a few hours each day. Tuesday I cried uncontrollably for a while after he left.
I cried a lot that night, and they gave me something to help me sleep. They keep asking if I need anything for pain... I didn't feel any physical pain at all. Just emotional. My heart is broken being away from my newborn for so long. And I feel so guilty for leaving my toddler for 4 days *again* without his mommy and daddy. Grandparents take wonderful care of him, but he keeps asking for me. He's been in a couple times too but he gets here and wants to run and tear the place apart (lol) so he doesn't stay long. I'm lucky to get a 5second hug. Lol.
This is the 2nd time I've had PP hemorrhage and needed tranfusions. Last time with DS1 was 3 units and was right after birth. this time its 4 units and 2 weeks PP. I wanted one more kid, but at this point it seems too dangerous after all I've been through. The OB who did the d+c told me to get my dr to refer me to a specialist after I'm done the 6 week pp and get my blood tested for blood disorders.
I'm home today (thursday). I haven't had any more bleeding or huge clots to push out since tuesday. (they felt like I was delivering again!)
So there's my long nightmare. Thanks for reading if you got through it.
T&Ps would be greatly appreciated right now.