depression

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3-o-me's picture
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depression

Have any of you dealt with depression before the baby gets here? I don't know if today is just a bad day or if I'm starting to just fall in to depression. It's hard since I don't get up to do much anymore. The one thing I was doing was getting up to eat dinner, but that is getting difficult - it sounds crazy, but the leaning forward to eat at the table is uncomfortable. Everything I do is supremely uncomfortable. Add to that my frustration with being here, away from home and MIL is starting to drive me literally insane (even though I KNOW she means well). I truly just want my dr. on Mon to say it's time for me to stay in the hospital. I didn't know why I felt that way, but I think it has to do with both getting out of here and being one step closer to the end.

If this doesn't go away I'll have to call my ob to talk about pre-partum depression. :confused:

WonderWomanExtrodinare's picture
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I suffer from depression when not pregnant and have to go off my meds. when I am pregnant-- but for some reason, it isn't so bad when I am pregnant. I've been having some bad days here lately but they are due to stress and I know it's not the depression coming on. I also went to counseling for a long time during high school and found ways to work through feelings-- sometimes, it was just a matter of me having to work through a feeling that I may not even know I was feeling, if that makes sense.
That being said, I feel for you! You read my post about moving b/c I live next door to DH's g-ma who raised him-- I think I feel the same way you do. I want to be moved and away from here so badly I could bawl some days. She is constantly at our house or telling us what to do with our children-- it has gotten so bad that even though our yard is fenced in with privacy fence, she is taken a panel off a part of the fence so she can talk to the kids through it and pass them things through it-- it just rubs me the wrong way.
I think what you are feeling is exactly what you said, it has to do with a dramatic change in your lifestyle (sorta like when an normally very independant person can no longer take care of themselves and they just give up on life in general) and having to depend on somebody that you really don't want caring for you. You are right though, it will end and you are SO close! Can DH bring you anything that you can do to nest a little? Can he bring some of the baby clothes to fold, or bring the stuff for your bags and let you pack them?
I'm so sorry girl! It's almost over and we'll all be holding our babies. HUGS!

VCoates's picture
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:bigarmhug::bigarmhug:
I can imagine that with 3 cooking at the same time, being away from home and hubby like you said, depression is not uncommon. I know I would be. Maybe try to learn somehting new during this time like crochet, cross stich, take up reading if you don't normally do it. There are all kinds of crafts you can do while in bed. Maybe have hubby or a friend go look for you at a craft store.

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. Just think, it could be any day now and you can move out of your MIL's house and back home.

If I was there, I'd give you a great big hug. Though you probably wouldn't want me to with how uncomfortable you are. Wink

WonderWomanExtrodinare's picture
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"VCoates" wrote:

:bigarmhug::bigarmhug:
I can imagine that with 3 cooking at the same time, being away from home and hubby like you said, depression is not uncommon. I know I would be. Maybe try to learn somehting new during this time like crochet, cross stich, take up reading if you don't normally do it. There are all kinds of crafts you can do while in bed. Maybe have hubby or a friend go look for you at a craft store.

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. Just think, it could be any day now and you can move out of your MIL's house and back home.

If I was there, I'd give you a great big hug. Though you probably wouldn't want me to with how uncomfortable you are. Wink

Yes! Times like this I wish we all lived close so we could help each other out if we needed to. Smile

squirrel27's picture
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I also have dealt with depression and it isnt fun. If it does keep up, definitely talk to your doc. They can help, even if its just listening at this point. There are many ways to learn to deal with it, and different strategies work for different people. Its important to find what helps you. If something doesnt help, ask/look for a new idea to try.
I also know about interferring family, as we live close (but not as close as Becca lol) to both my parents and DHs. As much as they do mean well (most of the time) it is hard to take at times, and I imagine its hard to take 24/7.

I agree with trying to find something you might like that you can do on your own to just relax. reading, watching a movie or tv series, a craft that you can do while sitting and resting would be great too. There are a TON of really easy simply cross stitch patterns (if you are interested in that) that are baby records or nursery themed things so it helps with the nesting instinct too! Most craft stores would have them and they arent expensive and they have everything you need in one kit. If cross stitch doesnt do it for you, maybe another craft idea would work.

3-o-me's picture
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today started off bad again, but DH and I were able to talk most of it out. Being more on bedrest than before makes me feel left out. This am DH and MIL went to church, which should get out at 12. When I hadn't heard from them at 1 I figured they had gone to eat w/o me and w/o even calling. They hadn't, had gone to run errands - but he totally understood how I would feel that way. The talking helped.

Thank you for sharing your stories. I probably deal with mild depression on a regular basis and this is just heightening it. On a regular basis I live pretty isolated from friends and family (the friends we do have don't live on base with us), being a teacher with summers off while DH works and in a tough winter location I know I let life get me down too much. Being here I'm isolated in a different manner and really not hearing from my friends too much. It's just tough. I feel like when DH does visit he gets corralled (sp?) by his mom to do chores and keep her company. It was/is just making me feel really left out. I know he doesn't mean it and is trying to walk that fine line of pleasing all. UGH!

When I first relocated here my SIL (who is awesome and keeps checking on me, the only one who does in any consistent manner) said she found 127 projects for me at Michael's. I guess it's time to have her bring me some.

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Honey, with all you got going on right now, it's a wonder you are only just feeling this way now...I'd have been feeling that way from the get go I think. You have gotten a ton of good advice so far and I hope that you are able to find something to put a smile on your face soon Smile

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I struggle with depression as well. With DD I went of my medicine when I was prego with her. I did great until the 3rd trimester, then I had to break down and ask for medication that was pregnancy safe. It didn't work as well as the medicine I was on before pregnancy but it did help.

If you check out the July board, there is a post about depression. I shared a lot more details in that post about my struggles. Feel free to PM me anytime too.

I can't imagine doing what you are doing. I dont' think I could handle it. You are doing a wonderful job - you should be proud!

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I'm pretty sure I'm on the line for depression when not preggo and any fluctuation in hormones throws me into a mild depression. With our first, I was seriously depressed the entire first trimester and my doctor wrote me a prescription for an anti-depressant I could take. I ended up not needing them since the second the second trimester hit, it was gone - so I would say that its definitely possible for it to creep up in the thrid trimester. I hope you feel better soon! Just know that you will be out of you MIL's soon! And, like the other ladies said - maybe use the time to pick up a couple new hobbies Smile