My goodness! How I wish I would have read some of your posts last week and wrote my own!
First I apologize for not being on here enough. I try to clean the house, rest and catch up with people (oh and try to sleep) when Lizzie is sleeping.
Second - I have had it rough with my mom and mil. Tot he point of me calling the doctor because the BC I am on (B-Yaz) is causing the same mood swings as Yaz did. I wrote awhile back about my mom sending me a letter about me being selfish and not letting her hold Lizzie, yada yada...we talked about it and worked it out and we have a really good relationship. I think it helps that she babysits my brother's 5 month old - so we both can vent to each other. So that's been better.
My MIL - where do I begin. Basically - I finally went to the salon, got my eyebrows waxed, go my 'do updated. I felt great. For the first time in weeks! I felt so good about myself. Until I had lunch with her. She bad me feel terrible about her and my fil not seeing Lizzie enough and they just setup a nursery for her. I tried to explain how hard it is to plan an hour trip with her and how I just can't drive an hour to her house, an hour back up to my area of Houston so I can go do this and that while she babysits and drive back to get Lizzie. I tried to suggest that since she and my FIL are retired they can come over anytime. Whatever. She said again we have a crib now. Then she asks if I knew how to fix my new hair style or if I was having problems. I said it's hard to spend time on it with a baby. She proceeds to tell me that I should call a certain stylist she knows and have her fix it. I wanted to slap her. First, you give me a guilt trip about not seeing Lizzie - hello! I set up these lunch dates every week and we see you on the weekends. Second, you knock how I look making me feel worse.
So this leads up to the Friday before we have Lizzie's baptism. I have my parents coming in, my brother, his wife and their baby staying at out house. Plus we invited way to many people to the baptism, so I am a bit anxious. Not to mention I have not been sleeping well and on my period. (The first one I had).
The DH says something that sets me off and I go of and then just start crying. Which leads me to call the doctor because for the week prior to my period and week of my period I was a monster. Just to him. I never got mad at the baby, was never depressed enough to do anything. I got bummed out because of the MIL.
I go to the doctor. I tell him that I had the same issues with Yaz but when I was on a lower dose of BC I didn't have the bad mood swings, I just had bad cramps and eavy bleeding. I said I can deal with that if the moods were controllable. He asks me a series of questions, like do I enjoy life - yes, am I going to hurt myself or baby - no. I said (because I went in crying because DH called about FIL calling saying he would like to visit with us more and it made me want to move closer to everyone) the only reason I am crying is because we just had Lizzie baptism and it was crazy, I haven't slept and my in-laws are giving us a hard time. I said I just get angry before and during my period and my DH and I have argued about moving because it benefits everyone except him and he doesn't want to spend an hour driving to and from work. (that's another story).
What does he tell me - that after this last round of Be-Yaz to start a new BC which should control the mood swings, to take Prozac and to see a psychiatrist. That made me feel worse. Are you effing kidding me?
After a long talk with my husband, getting sleep and talking with friends, we decided to try one thing at a time. I don't want to take Prozac because I took Wellbutrion to stop smoking and it caused panic attacks. So seeing all the side effects on Prozac scares me and I don't want to have to go on medication. I started eating better, sleeping, having my SIL come once a week, exercising and going to church and praying more. I feel 100 times better. I also talked with friends who have babies and toddlers and said I'm not that bad and my hormones and body aren't back yet. She said talk it out and make sure you and DH have a good relationship. DH and I have decided to go to church more and to tell/warn each other when we are frustrated or upset - so we know not to push each other or to give the other a break.
I just wish I would have seen ya'lls posts on PPD. I think I would have waited on seeing the doctor. I'm just thankful to have you all for support and there is a place for all of us to go to for support and friendship! Plus, I am going to start coming here and asking "is it normal and how do I" baby questions.
Sorry this got so long!!