huge vent

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WonderWomanExtrodinare's picture
Joined: 05/26/07
Posts: 1192
huge vent

My mother is a nurse and is quite honestly just totally against me having the baby at a birthing center and not under the care of any doctor or nurse. So yesterday, at my appointment, my MW decided she would like to send me in for a NST and BPP today as she thinks the fluid levels around the baby are low and he wasn't moving much yesterday-- she doesn't think there's anything to worry about but wants to be "safe now rather than sorry later"-- I think I'm a little on the dehydrated side and that explains it all-- his fetal heart tones were excellent and I think he's a big baby and has run out of room to move very much. My mother told me this morning none of this would happen if I was being seen by an OB! Seriously?! If there was that much concern for the baby, my MW would have sent me straight to the ER yesterday and not have had me waited until today and my mommy instincts would be going hay wire! To top it off, she calls me and acts like she's talking to just me and then tells all her nurse co-workers in the background what is going on with my baby! That is my personal business! And all I hear them say is that I need to go be seen by a Obgyn right now-- ummm... that's what's going on today-- hello?!?! They act like I don't care about my baby's well-being and that's just so upsetting to me! And when it wasn't any of their business to start with. My mom acts like it's some sort of circus show that I want to have my baby naturally at a birthing center. She just has really upset me. Beee

KerriWeasel's picture
Joined: 01/28/10
Posts: 464

aww, a giant :bighug: to you.

She has no right to be telling your business to her co-workers. That is personal and aren't there laws against it?

I'm sure she is worried about you and want's the best but she is going about it the wrong way. I would be pretty upset too. She needs to respect your decision. Also she needs to understand that a MW is a licensed professional and isn't going to let something happen to you or your baby.

I had issues with my mom, I haven't been feeling wonderful and DH and I called to keep her informed and she wants me to call the dr or go to hospital every five minutes. this old school type of thinking doesn't work anymore. It may be the same for your mom. There have been so many advancements in childbirth and childcare, that the old ways just don't work for some people.

Hang in there. I'm sorry she can't respect your decision or keep your business private. Keep on venting, we'll be here for you. Smile

LauraMae78's picture
Joined: 01/10/11
Posts: 969

OMG i would be SO pissed! mothers are supposed to be trusted with our personal thoughts and fears. she is entitled to her opinion, but she is going a little too far, IMO. im sorry Sad why cant people just allow us to make the choices that are best for us? i had someone, who i love and trust and who had good intentions, repeat SEVERAL times about how i should NOT get an epidural. she has had 4 kids, the first 3 natural, the 4th csectiona and had a bad experience with the epi. i understand, however, i have done loads of researcha and i know what is best for ME. make a recommendation once or twice and then drop it. but no, people have to be pushy!

well, i hope your LO is ok and stick to your guns, its YOUR baby and YOUR body! KUP :bigarmhug:

nmc
nmc's picture
Joined: 01/03/11
Posts: 268

I'm sorry your mom isn't being more supportive! She doesn't have to agree with your decision but I would hope that she would respect it! Family can be so aggravating at times.

Hope all goes well with the NST today!

WonderWomanExtrodinare's picture
Joined: 05/26/07
Posts: 1192

It's like she wants to cause me worry and stress and fear when I'm not feeling that right now. I really believe in listening to my instincts first before doing something drastic and to me, a NST and BPP are pretty non-invasive and will more than likely show that all is ok-- why go rushing to an ER when I really don't feel like there's any concern?

jaimers617's picture
Joined: 10/30/09
Posts: 333

Ugh - I'm sorry your mom is being like that! How frustrating...on top of everything going on right now as it is, you definitely don't need her in your head and fighting your decision. I can see her not being totally 100% on board with your decision, but to actually go so far to tell all her co-workers and stress you out even more is definitely not right. After you go for your appts and see that everything is fine, hopefully she'll relax a bit about pushing for an OB. Plus, how in the world would it matter if you were seeing an OB? If you were, would you're fluids not potentially be low, or would he be moving more? Nope. All that would be exactly the same no matter how you decided to have the baby and who you are seeing for your prenatal care. I hope your mom decides to keep her opinions to herself a little more the rest of your pregnancy and not aggravate you anymore!

squirrel27's picture
Joined: 05/13/08
Posts: 781

Ugh how frustrating!!! I would be angry too - personal business is not for sharing with coworkers!

I hope everything is fine with your NST today. KUP!!

:bighug:

VCoates's picture
Joined: 05/22/07
Posts: 1055

My mom is the same way when we discussed the possibility of giving birth at a birthing center and me wanting a vbac this time. I completely understand!! Just tell her to mind her business. This is not her pregnancy or her baby.

Cassandra83's picture
Joined: 10/01/07
Posts: 850

Wow sorry Your getting this from you Mother
Its not like your getting no care for your baby at all.

sometimes I feel I wish i was in another state where anyone could know I was pregnant till after I gave Birth... being around people and pregnant its Hard.

:bigarmhug:
It will be over soon and very soon

bumblybees's picture
Joined: 03/24/10
Posts: 559

Sad that is frustrating. you are doing the right thing by your baby. i'm sure she'll see that, its just her frustration at not being able to help or have any control.
hugs you're doing all you can.

let us know how the NST goes.

Joined: 03/06/09
Posts: 1054

Wow. That's really frustrating. It sounds like you're getting excellent care. That's completely not her judgement call to tell you to be seen by an OB. Hopefully she calms down and learns to accept your choice.
:bigarmhug:

kilahmaree's picture
Joined: 08/28/09
Posts: 951

I hope everything goes well today. I am so sorry about your mom! She should definitely be more positive for you. My mom was very unsupportive during my 1st pregnancy when I chose to birth at home. Luckily, early on in the pregnancy I told her flat out that if she could not only refrain from saying negative things to me about my birthing choices, but truly support me, she was not welcome at the birth of my child. It was hard for her to change her ways of thinking, but she eventually did her own research (since obvioulsy mine was not sufficient Wink ) and by the time DD was born my mother was 100% onboard and truly supportive of my decision. Obviously there might not be enough time to change your mom's views, but I would certainly address her lack of support to you and tell her that her negativity is not appreciated.