I miss you all

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Chris_85's picture
Joined: 10/14/08
Posts: 675
I miss you all

not sure where to start but i miss you all, i am having a hard time stealing a few moments to myself these days and the computer is usually the last on my list of pleasures right now.

I don't think i have PPD, but i know i am on the edge.

I love Lilly soo very much ans she is the best part of my day. I love being a stay at home mom, but DH and i are having problems.

we are having financial problems, and I am tired of telling Dh that he needs to find a way to pay the bills, cus his crap part time job aint cutting it. I hate asking my family for help all the time.

The good thing is i am now using cloth diapers almost exclusively but doing diaper laundry every night is getting old, since i only have enough to last one day, my sister just ordered me some more one size pockets so i can go at least two days.

I would be getting more sleep if I was able to go to bed right after putting Lilly down for the night but I try and get her Diapers done and a few other things that get missed.

I am also having the other marital problem and it is not for lack of me wanting him. it is the other way around.
we had a blow out fight the other night and i thought for sure we got everything out but still he is taking his sweet time on finding more work.
I never realized how bad i would want to stay home to take care of Lilly, on the other hand i couldn't afford the daycare.

I have so much more i want to talk about but alas Lilly's cries call me.

LauraMae78's picture
Joined: 01/10/11
Posts: 969

i would love to offer some words of wisdow\ but im going through similar stuff myself. as for work, i will say that i HATE being a working mom! i mean i love that im independent and make my own money and have a roll outside of "mom" and "wife", but i hate that someone else spends way more time with her than i do. but the bills need to get paid. do you have a friend or family that wil help you out if you decide to get a job?

it seems that there are quite a few of us that are having difficulties in the marital area. i think we ALL need a date night! Smile

Hugs to you and we all understand being busy and not able to check in all that often.

:bigarmhug:

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

I hear you on the finances department. I hate living from paycheck to paycheck and not even making it half-way. Sad

Thank you for speaking up, it definitely helped me. It's good to have ladies to "listen" and give a "shoulder" to cry on.

:bigarmhug:

Joined: 12/21/10
Posts: 529

Please!!! Go on a date night.

On the first day I went back to work when we got home that evening and Lily was screaming we started yelling at each other. We have been together for 12 years and have only fought 3 times (when it is that few you remember them). When Lily finally went to sleep I called my step-mom and dad and told them we needed a date night. That Saturday we went to dinner, were gone 3 hours and it did so much good. We pretty much spoke of her the entire time but not being there, in the middle of it, did wonders.

We have said since the day we found out Lily was coming that we are no good to our child if we are not good together and those are the words that we live by now.

Good luck and know that we are here to support you!

squirrel27's picture
Joined: 05/13/08
Posts: 781

I totally hear you Chris, we are in financial issues as well, having a hard time getting week to week sometimes too. Its stressful.
I'm sorry you and DH are fighting Sad

"jessica2575" wrote:

We have said since the day we found out Lily was coming that we are no good to our child if we are not good together and those are the words that we live by now.

This!
A child needs a stable loving home with 2 parents who love each other too. its ok to fight here and there but constant fighting isnt good for ANYONE. Take time for yourselves, go on a date night, or send her to someones house for a few hours while you have time to yourselves at home (and in bed? lol Wink ). And most importantly dont feel guilty doing it. You are doing her a favor by taking care of yourselves and your marriage!
Now that Ive said that, I know its hard to do sometimes but you both need to make the effort. Maybe try to arrange something once a week or whatever works for you.

We're having this problem too, between DH working overtime and extra things to bring in money, and me running after 2 kids, by the end of the day we are both often snappy, so we snap at each other. Sad its not easy somedays.

Chris_85's picture
Joined: 10/14/08
Posts: 675

Things are up and down, I must admit tho there are days I want to give up on "us" not Lilly.

I have issues with how little he is interested in the bed room area, on top of the money problems.
It seems to me like When ever i am in the mood and Lilly is asleep, he has no drive, especially if we just dtd with in the last 2 days. The frequency is so bad, maybe once a week or two if I am lucky.
I am feeling inadequate, awkward, and still learning how to love my post baby body. I am still me and yet nothing is the same.

We found a way to take care of the bills for December, but i am feeling down about Christmas, I just don't want to be embarrassed at my in-laws, and i know we wont be able to afford really nice gifts. I am just so tired of being broke all the time, its hard to buy gifts for my niece and nephews since they seem to have every toy already, way spoiled if you ask me.
I just know my in-laws would say something if we got them something cheap.
It never feels even.

anyway, I want to reply to some of you before i hit the sack.
So glad to here from some of you tho.

squirrel27's picture
Joined: 05/13/08
Posts: 781

"Chris_85" wrote:

Things are up and down, I must admit tho there are days I want to give up on "us" not Lilly.

I have issues with how little he is interested in the bed room area, on top of the money problems.
It seems to me like When ever i am in the mood and Lilly is asleep, he has no drive, especially if we just dtd with in the last 2 days. The frequency is so bad, maybe once a week or two if I am lucky.
I am feeling inadequate, awkward, and still learning how to love my post baby body. I am still me and yet nothing is the same.

We found a way to take care of the bills for December, but i am feeling down about Christmas, I just don't want to be embarrassed at my in-laws, and i know we wont be able to afford really nice gifts. I am just so tired of being broke all the time, its hard to buy gifts for my niece and nephews since they seem to have every toy already, way spoiled if you ask me.
I just know my in-laws would say something if we got them something cheap.
It never feels even.

anyway, I want to reply to some of you before i hit the sack.
So glad to here from some of you tho.

The whole point of gifts at christmas is the thought and the time together. You dont need to spend an arm and a leg, and if your family looks down on you because you dont have the most expensive presents for them, then really they are missing the point of Christmas IMO... I'm sorry you feel that way. You shouldnt have to. Please try to take this time to enjoy your beautiful daughter and not worry about materialistic things.

Your comment about your pp body strikes me... its hard to get used to ... I hope your DH knows how you feel about it, your bold statement in particular. Its something you need to talk with him about as he will be the one to make you feel better about yourself again.

:bighug: